Quote from a smart blonde ... doubt its based on reality but it made me laugh.
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them. Boy oh boy, did we go around! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year.......that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back. Guess I won that stupid argument.
A Smart Blonde!
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HaAGen DaZS
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- Location: Sextland
blonde swedish girl tonight. 
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BigSlideHimself
- DBB Ace
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This really happened to me in class yesterday:
Girl behind me doing crossword: "What's a 4 letter word for "Extinct bird?" It's blank O blank O.
Guy next to her: "Don't know..."
Girl: "Dove maybe..."
I turn around: "It's Dodo."
Girl: "Dodo? Oh right, thanks"
Me: "Sure"
Girl: "I've never seen one of those before."
Girl behind me doing crossword: "What's a 4 letter word for "Extinct bird?" It's blank O blank O.
Guy next to her: "Don't know..."
Girl: "Dove maybe..."
I turn around: "It's Dodo."
Girl: "Dodo? Oh right, thanks"
Me: "Sure"
Girl: "I've never seen one of those before."
ROFLBigSlideHimself wrote:This really happened to me in class yesterday:
Girl behind me doing crossword: "What's a 4 letter word for "Extinct bird?" It's blank O blank O.
Guy next to her: "Don't know..."
Girl: "Dove maybe..."
I turn around: "It's Dodo."
Girl: "Dodo? Oh right, thanks"
Me: "Sure"
Girl: "I've never seen one of those before."
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HaAGen DaZS
- DBB Benefactor
- Posts: 2695
- Joined: Sat Jun 09, 2001 2:01 am
- Location: Sextland
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HaAGen DaZS
- DBB Benefactor
- Posts: 2695
- Joined: Sat Jun 09, 2001 2:01 am
- Location: Sextland
a blond, a burnette, and a redhead are all running from the cops cause they did a crime.
they run into a farm to hide from the cops
the redhead jumps in a sack of kittens
the burnette jumps in a sack of puppies
the blond jumps in a sack of potatoes.
the cops come in, and the redhead makes meowing sounds..
the cops then walked over to a sack of puppies, where the burnette made barking sounds,
then the cops walked over to the sack of potatoes where the blond was saying "pootttaaaatttoooooeee..... pooooottaaatttoooooeeee" ... then the cops arrested the blonde.
they run into a farm to hide from the cops
the redhead jumps in a sack of kittens
the burnette jumps in a sack of puppies
the blond jumps in a sack of potatoes.
the cops come in, and the redhead makes meowing sounds..
the cops then walked over to a sack of puppies, where the burnette made barking sounds,
then the cops walked over to the sack of potatoes where the blond was saying "pootttaaaatttoooooeee..... pooooottaaatttoooooeeee" ... then the cops arrested the blonde.
A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligatorâ??s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave â??em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"
The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligatorâ??s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.
After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitalsâ??unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.
"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.
After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "Iâ??ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."
-----------------
Three blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were.
The first blonde said, "I think theyâ??re deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "I think theyâ??re dog tracks!"
The third blonde said, "Well, I think theyâ??re cow tracks!"
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house burglarized and ransacked. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, â??I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!â?
The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligatorâ??s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.
After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitalsâ??unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.
"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.
After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "Iâ??ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."
-----------------
Three blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were.
The first blonde said, "I think theyâ??re deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "I think theyâ??re dog tracks!"
The third blonde said, "Well, I think theyâ??re cow tracks!"
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
-----------------
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house burglarized and ransacked. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, â??I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!â?
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/17/Spaceboy wrote:"pootttaaaatttoooooeee..... pooooottaaatttoooooeeee" ... then the cops arrested the blonde.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer that was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
A blonde woman and a lawyer happen to be sitting next to each other on a long
flight from L. A. to New York. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she
would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a
nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few
winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of
fun.
He explains how the game works. .
"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me,
and vice-versa." Again, the blonde politely declines and tries to get
some sleep. The lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he
will easily win the match, so he makes another offer. Okay, how about
this. If you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't
know the answer, I will pay you 500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no
end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game. The
lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to
the moon. The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls
out a five dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer. . "What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with
a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all the
references. He taps into the Air-phone with his modem and searches the
Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated he sends E-mails to all
his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an
hour of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the
blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who cannot imagine what the answer is , and is going nuts
trying to figure it out, is more than a little frustrated!
He wakes up the blonde and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with
three legs and comes down with four.?"
The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to
sleep.
A blonde woman and a lawyer happen to be sitting next to each other on a long
flight from L. A. to New York. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she
would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a
nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few
winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of
fun.
He explains how the game works. .
"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me,
and vice-versa." Again, the blonde politely declines and tries to get
some sleep. The lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he
will easily win the match, so he makes another offer. Okay, how about
this. If you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't
know the answer, I will pay you 500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no
end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game. The
lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to
the moon. The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls
out a five dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer. . "What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with
a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all the
references. He taps into the Air-phone with his modem and searches the
Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated he sends E-mails to all
his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an
hour of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the
blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who cannot imagine what the answer is , and is going nuts
trying to figure it out, is more than a little frustrated!
He wakes up the blonde and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with
three legs and comes down with four.?"
The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to
sleep.
Heres some i found...
Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A1: Toes Go In First.
Q: What happened to the blonde that was tap dancing?
A: She fell in the sink.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A1: Toes Go In First.
Q: What happened to the blonde that was tap dancing?
A: She fell in the sink.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.