the good news... and the bad news.

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 9:35 am

The good news is that it doesn't matter, he is impotent.

Money! · Post by **Money!** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 1:21 pm

The bad news is that he doesn't care he's impotent... he does it anyway.

HaAGen DaZS · Post by **HaAGen DaZS** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 3:34 am

the good news is a building just fell on him.

(slow morning...)

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 8:14 am

The bad news is that it only hurt the building. (very slow)

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 8:20 am

the good news is the building was in the way of a new hospital.

Hahnenkam · Post by **Hahnenkam** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:41 am

The bad news is that it's a mental hospital trying a new therapy concept: free-range patients.

dissent · Post by **dissent** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:45 am

The good news is that free-range patients are delicious when sauteed with butter, onions and garlic.

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:51 am

the bad news is the umbrella corp owns the hospital and the patients are now infected with a virus that re-animates them and they're coming after you.

Boo · Post by **Boo** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:52 am

The bad news is that free-range patients have recently began contracting mad cow disease at an increased rate.

EDIT: jakee posts too fast

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:57 am

is there a standard waiting period?

the good news is the mad cow disease counteracts the reanimation virus and the patients are now all politicians.

edit: wait that's bad news too.

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 2:55 pm

Bad news is that the politicians are the only ones that know how to free up the money to do the research for a cure for mad cow disease.

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 3:16 pm

the good news is that eating meat has become a risky activity again.

Money! · Post by **Money!** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:05 pm

The bad news is that no one really gives a rat's ass about mad cow disease, including myself (for me this is good news).

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:30 pm

The good news is that the price of rat's ***es on the R.A. futures market went down as the demand has lessened. Market analysts in 5 countries have indicated that the drop is tied to them being given away in some areas. Rumors that this is related to an outbreak of mad cow disease laden reanimated dead politicians at a local hospital have been denied by the hospital's operations manager Mr. Money! who also is the CEO of Umbrella Corp. In an interview Mr. Money! stated "for me this is good news".

Money! · Post by **Money!** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:40 pm

jakee308 wrote:The good news is that the price of rat's ***es on the R.A. futures market went down as the demand has lessened. Market analysts in 5 countries have indicated that the drop is tied to them being given away in some areas. Rumors that this is related to an outbreak of mad cow disease laden reanimated dead politicians at a local hospital have been denied by the hospital's operations manager Mr. Money! who also is the CEO of Umbrella Corp. In an interview Mr. Money! stated "for me this is good news".

The bad news is: Thus, Mr. Money!, with all his Money!, hired a bunch of Republicans to discredit jakee308 so much so that he "committed suicide" by somehow shooting himself from across the room.

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:41 pm

bAD NEWS IS mR. mONEY HAS NO CLUE WHAT HE'S TOKKIN BOUT.

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:42 pm

the good news is that rumors of my demise have been grossly exagerated.

Money! · Post by **Money!** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:50 pm

Iceman wrote:bAD NEWS IS mR. mONEY HAS NO CLUE WHAT HE'S TOKKIN BOUT.

The bad news is that Iceman is a Republican and can't take a joke.

(Seriously sorry if I offended you bro.)

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:56 pm

the good news is Money! was scared by an elephant as a child. Since then he has kept away from them and as a result hasn't been squashed by one.

yet.

Money! · Post by **Money!** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:02 pm

The bad news is that I'm going to a circus tomorrow.

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:14 pm

the good news is the circus is looking for a new clown.

Image · Post by **Image** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 11:22 pm

The bad news is I've already taken that job.

Money! · Post by **Money!** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 12:17 am

The good news is blah blah.

The bad news is that this excellent post has run its course. New one Haag?

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:33 am

the good news is Money!is tired of playing around and has gone off with Image to the circus.

Image · Post by **Image** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:04 am

The bad news is I taught him how to use the trapeeze thingies and he fell and broke his skull.

Stryker · Post by **Stryker** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:10 am

The good news is that no one has decided to sue the circus.

Yet.

Image · Post by **Image** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:19 am

The bad news is Money! is a prosecutor.

The good news is he has rabies.

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:29 am

the bad news is the nearest hospital is ... you guessed it.

the hospital run by Umbrella Corp.

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 12:29 pm

The good news is that this thread started out pretty good, it hasn't sucked until now

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:11 pm

The bad news is... I just farted.

Robo · Post by **Robo** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:12 pm

The good news is I have a plentiful supply of pegs and a large basket of lemons.

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:24 pm

the bad news is Top Wop's fart just melted his mother board which caused a power spike that overloaded the substation in Jupiter PTMC Mining Station No. 56830. this knocked out the orbital magnetic alignment beam for Instant Transport and 3,122 people in transit were turned into ions and spread throughout the solar system.

Topher · Post by **Topher** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:53 pm

The good news is satellite TV reception is suddenly much better.

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 2:02 pm

The bad news is we are having a nuclear war tomorrow and your satellite reception will get ****ed.

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 2:09 pm

the good news is that in the bunkers w.o. tv we'll have more time to design levels and play descent.

Topher · Post by **Topher** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:03 pm

The bad news is the robots we designed to build the bunkers will suddenly go beserker, give us blue jump suits and take us all hostage behind destructable doors!!

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:11 pm

Good news is that, in captivity, there will be unlimited PCs with AMD64/SLI nV x2/2Gb and D3 installed ... we won't care where we are. Oh yeah, even better news is that there won't be any joysticks and all you wussies will be forced to fight like men.

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:12 pm

The good news is I will come to save the day cus' im awesome at D2 singleplayer. YESSSS!!! Material Defender eat your heart out...

jakee308 · Post by **jakee308** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:14 pm

Bad news is we'll all have carpal tunnel syndrome from heavy keyboard use.

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:44 pm

Good news is that they will have an unlimited supply of Lortab for us and WE WON'T CARE about carpal tunnel syndrome!