Mother passes at 61, RIP ;( [six months since...]

[kakhome1]

Last Thursday (January 31) my father was going to give his wife (who had asked to sleep in the living room) a morning cup of coffee....when he began to rub the covers and pick them up to the devastating news that her body lay still and lifeless. He knew right away that after almost 40 years of good times together he'd just become a widower...and I almost as immediately that my mother had left this world after 28 years of complete dedication to making me the person I am and my family the family it is. I miss her dearly, always will, yet my father seems to have the stronger emotions and most worrisome to me...May he survive the crippling blow and may mom bec where she wants to now, comfortable, I hope...

[Tunnelcat]

Wow, I'm so sorry for your loss. 61 is relatively young to pass away in this day and age. My mother passed away in 2000 at age 67 from lung cancer only a year after being diagnosed, but it was still a devastating and sudden loss for our family. She had always been the strong one we all looked up to and loved the most. My sister and I still wish she were here, even after all these years have passed. Make sure the both of you never forget her and always keep her memories in your hearts, no matter what comes in the future. My step father seems to have all but forgotten her and her last wishes and it pains me and my sister to no end, to the point that we will never EVER speak to our brother ever again after my stepfather's passing.

There's also another personal reason I can feel your father's pain so closely, but I'll reveal that here at a later date. Tell your father, and take heed yourself, that the memories of your mother will always be there to remind you of her, even though she's now physically gone from this earth. The time of grieving the both of you will go through will be very difficult and it really helps to take the time to actually cry out your anguish as a release. But never fear, you and your father WILL get through it and eventually move on with your lives, even though it doesn't seem possible right now. Her passing should not stop either you from enjoying life. It's too short to end up mired in depression, unable to move on. Both of you need to keep busy, travel and do stuff with the rest of your family so that you both won't have time to dwell on your loss. However, nighttime will be the hardest part of the day, since all those memories will come bubbling up into your mind unbidden as you lay in bed wondering why your mother left so soon when there was so much more of life left for her to live. May your mother's soul be in a good and happy place watching over you and your father and smiling with love from now on.

[kakhome1]

@Tunnelcat, you're so accurately matching what my father has told me, that you could've fooled me you saw him! Yeah her loss was very sudden, and she wasn't particularly open about what doctors told her, so we will probably never know all the meat of the story. We only know for sure that she was also suffering from extremely intense pain and muscle spasm in the shoulder, which was debilitating. (But heart attack or stroke have been ruled out.) This pain started in late 2018 (however she mostly hid it from us at the time) but was made far worse by a procedure (cervical epidural steroid injection) she had in early January that only AFTER the procedure we found out it was very risky and not even appropriate for her condition. We'd have strongly discouraged her from going to get the procedure (or even not allowed it) had we known that in time. And the procedure was administered by someone who subsequently seemed to be very uncaring. Perhaps arrogance IS fatal sometimes...at least indirect maybe.

Either way for the two of us this all deteriorated so fast it was basically out of left field - as until mid January when she complained of the extreme pain level there hadn't even been any real sign that trouble was imminent.

What you say about moving on is exactly what my father has already told me - it will need some time and my help but he's confident it will come ever so slowly. And yeah nights are hardest. Shamefully he's probably hit harder emotionally than me - simply because I've always depended most directly on my father, even though I loved and depended on them both.

[FlightRN2go]

As a one time Descent player I want to pass along my condolences. Sorry for your loss.
Bee

[typematrix]

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[kakhome1]

I can't believe half a year has come and gone already...

This is primarily a DooM video but I mention about it starting at 7:05...