Why did the chicken cross the road?

Arol · Post by **Arol** » Mon Dec 27, 2004 2:51 pm

Found this on another board. I thought that you people might find it as hilarious as I did!
Enjoy!:lol:

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

RALPH NADER:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH:
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE:
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but also will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

Unix · Post by **Unix** » Mon Dec 27, 2004 3:36 pm

The last one is the best.

Avder · Post by **Avder** » Mon Dec 27, 2004 4:04 pm

Har, thats a good read.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Mon Dec 27, 2004 5:49 pm

I like Earnest Hemingway's

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Mon Dec 27, 2004 6:58 pm

rofl

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Mon Dec 27, 2004 7:11 pm

The bible one got a laugh.

MD-2389 · Post by **MD-2389** » Mon Dec 27, 2004 10:27 pm

This is older than AYB.

That said, I like the Clinton one the best.

Darkside Heartless · Post by **Darkside Heartless** » Mon Dec 27, 2004 11:14 pm

Arol wrote:COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

ROFL!!

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 12:53 am

Inari · Post by **Inari** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 6:27 am

XD

The Jerry Falwell and the Bible ones were the best.

JMEaT · Post by **JMEaT** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 8:01 am

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 1:29 pm

Best joke post in a long while. LOFL!

Arbitar · Post by **Arbitar** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 2:08 pm

LOFL?

Hattrick · Post by **Hattrick** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 2:45 pm

SIGMUND FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

ROTFL!!

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 4:20 pm

Arbitar wrote:LOFL?

Laughing On Floor mebbe?

Buef · Post by **Buef** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 7:58 pm

because he had a 15yr old abttery in him........

Defender · Post by **Defender** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 10:11 pm

Sarge · Post by **Sarge** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 12:42 am

No, 'Grandpa' got it right... Who the freak cares!

Ernest was good too!

MD-2389 · Post by **MD-2389** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 1:33 am

Sarge wrote:No, 'Grandpa' got it right... Who the freak cares!

Says someone old enough to know whether the chicken or egg came first.

Inari · Post by **Inari** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 5:55 am

My best guess would be:

LOFL = Laying On Floor Laughing

Boo · Post by **Boo** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 8:37 am

Another vote for the bible one

Sarge · Post by **Sarge** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 9:12 am

MD-2389 wrote:
Sarge wrote:No, 'Grandpa' got it right... Who the freak cares!
Says someone old enough to know whether the chicken or egg came first.

I wuz there when it happened! That chicken just fell from the sky and immediatly started lookin for a Rooster...

I ran like heck! Scary stuff man!

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 7:29 pm

Inari wrote:My best guess would be:

LOFL = Laying On Floor Laughing

You said it. I never really understood all those silly acronyms so I invent my own batch. Just use your brain and imagination and you will understand it.

roid · Post by **roid** » Sun Jan 02, 2005 2:49 am

if only the internet was around back when that joke was all the rage

Moses176: "WDTCCTR* again?! my man, welcome to last millenium... n00b"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?