DescentBB

thought this might raise a smile... (Not very PC - but ultimately harmless).


****21 Economic Models explained with Cows - 2008 update****

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy...

ROFL and QFT

It was funnier before this so called update.

Hattrick wrote:It was funnier before this so called update.

You're just mad that it didn't use pigs.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

haha!

I heard that Iraq sent its cows to Syria...

I've not heard of the cow funnies. This was entertaining!

Gekko71 wrote: SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

Socialism is voluntary?

shaktazuki wrote:Socialism is voluntary?

An outstanding point!

shaktazuki wrote:

Gekko71 wrote: SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

Socialism is voluntary?

In it's purest sense as is Communism.

Duper wrote:

shaktazuki wrote:

Gekko71 wrote: SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

Socialism is voluntary?

In it's purest sense as is Communism.

Ah. A system which is pure in theory, but universally corrupt in application.

Like a pink unicorn, voluntary socialism, or communism, is a beast never seen but oft read of in fairy tales.

The reason socialism and communism have failed in every recorded instance of their application in the real world is because people don't like each other.

yup

Hm ...

People don't like each other AND they covet what everyone else has enough to steal it by any means possible. That's the one little human tick that messes up ALL the systems.

I’m glad you guys caught that “socialism” gaff, in truth it should be….


SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
The government takes one, chops it into hamburger, and gives out burgers with free cheese.
Then taxes you on the other one to buy the cheese. (at a very large amount, because if you own a cow, you must be rich)

Indeed, lists like these reveal much about the biases of those who make them.

The OP must be a socialist based on the extremely positive bias accorded to the description of socialism.

There was a similar list printed in the old Ann Landers advice column which listed the supposed \"origins\" of the world's religions. A pointedly similar one is here.

It is clear that the list's author was Catholic, by the same analysis.

It's not a bias, so much as indicating a somewhat limited understanding of socialism, or excessive simplification. Socialism can refer to a spectrum of ideologies, but in its classical sense this may be how you could sum it up - at least from my understanding:

You have 2 cows.
You relinquish full control of the cows in favour of joint ownership between your farm workers and yourself, and share the profits from the milk sales equally.

It looks good on paper. Someone has to attain the cow. You can't just take a cow. The guy who took the chance on Daisy in the first place deserves more profit.

But I really like your \"cow that supplies meat and cheese\" layout. I'm kinda getting a little hot.

shaktazuki wrote:

Duper wrote:

shaktazuki wrote:

Gekko71 wrote: SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

Socialism is voluntary?

In it's purest sense as is Communism.

Ah. A system which is pure in theory, but universally corrupt in application.

Like a pink unicorn, voluntary socialism, or communism, is a beast never seen but oft read of in fairy tales.

The reason socialism and communism have failed in every recorded instance of their application in the real world is because people don't like each other.

ding! ding! ding!

We have a winnar!

It was funny, nice post.