DescentBB

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip....but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick and the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.


Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.


When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.


When Santa began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy
bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So...frustrated, Santa
went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey.


When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.


He went to get the broom and found that the mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa.
Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it
just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"


Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Nice.

Good One!

Bwahahahah

Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past

â?¦this is going to take a long time, so you may want to get some snacks. Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa, of Claus: an apelike creature, making crude and pointless toys out of dino bone and his own waste; hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands, regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called toys were buried as witches and defecated upon, and hurled at predators, who were awoken by the searing grunts of the children. It wasnâ??t a holly-jolly Christmas that year, for many were killed. A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice-encased Earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the un-evolved Santa ape, to make his confused toys, using Galactic Elfin Technology, forevermore Santionatos. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like â??train.â?