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Continuing Education

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 9:51 am
by KompresZor
It's good to poke a little fun at ourselves once in a while.

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Dec. 30,2005

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays,
Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling
When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 10:34 am
by Pandora
hehehe that was great. What was disconcerting though just that my girlfriend got a *real* laugh out of it. :oops:
/me heads off to do the dishes

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:18 pm
by Lothar
Best. Post. EVAR!

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:21 pm
by woodchip
I need to take ALL the classes.

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:23 pm
by fyrephlie
graduated years ago... didn't help.

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:50 pm
by Dedman
I'm with fyrephile on this one :lol:

Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 4:41 pm
by snoopy
I guess I better hurry up and take those before the 14th of January. (Yes people, the fateful day is 23 days away. I hope you will be glad to hear that the DBB will be represented there, too.)

Re: Continuing Education

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 7:41 am
by roid
KompresZor wrote:Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
[/b]
my version of trhat is

Class 5
Dirty Dishes, just how ★■◆●ing high CAN they stack? and how to get them all done aat once with the power of mania.

Meetings: when i'm on an upper. ★■◆● you all![/b]

:)