chimp steals the peach

Hahnenkam · Post by **Hahnenkam** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 12:22 pm

On CNN.com, regarding a man attacked by two chimps: "His testicles and a foot also were severed"

Ouch.

Reminds me of Monkey Steals the Peach

Lothar · Post by **Lothar** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 2:56 pm

ouch... owned.

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 2:58 pm

How long does it take a chimp to knaw off a foot? Were they wailing on this guy a while? Damn.

JMEaT · Post by **JMEaT** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:03 pm

Dedman wrote:How long does it take a chimp to knaw off a foot? Were they wailing on this guy a while? Damn.

Yeah no ★■◆●. How about the dude's testicles... O_o;

fliptw · Post by **fliptw** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:09 pm

chimps can have up to 5 times the strength of a man, its bite is probably just shy that of a gators. Its also possible no teeth were involved with the foot.

MD-2389 · Post by **MD-2389** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 11:55 pm

fliptw wrote:chimps can have up to 5 times the strength of a man, its bite is probably just shy that of a gators. Its also possible no teeth were involved with the foot.

Yeah, seeing as the guy was what...62? I don't think it would've taken the chimp much to just rip it right off.

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:27 pm

MD-2389 wrote:
fliptw wrote:chimps can have up to 5 times the strength of a man, its bite is probably just shy that of a gators. Its also possible no teeth were involved with the foot.
Yeah, seeing as the guy was what...62? I don't think it would've taken the chimp much to just rip it right off.

Have you seen the guy? He was a very large man. I don't know that a chimp could just rip his foot off. I could be wrong though.

Lobber · Post by **Lobber** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 5:24 pm

Chimps are nothing to tangle with.

woodchip · Post by **woodchip** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 6:01 pm

Yoe have to show monkeys and apes you are the boss or they will think you, well....the suk. Working with a guy who raised exotic animals, I was hold a short tail macaque monkey when the thing bit me and jumped away. The owner said I had to show the macaque I was the alpha male. Well, for me, thats pretty easy. The owner gave me the beast a second time and yup, the monkey thought he was going to make a monkey (

) out of me and in a way he did...he tried to bite me again. I had him by the leash and with my free hand I slapped the dog snot out of him. The monkey became real friendly like at that point in time...until I put him back in the cage. Guess the monkey felt all protected like in the cage 'cause he immediately tried to get at me. The owner said I was going to have to get the apeshiat back out of the cage or the monkey would think that he could still snowjob me.
Cage door was just big enough to get my head, shoulders and arms through the door. Soon as I opened the door and stuck my head in, bozo came at me again. I was still simmering after the first episode so I slapped 'em around like a redheaded stepchild. After that, simian and I got along.
It is true that adult chimps are quite strong. I remember a story about a professional wrestler who had a pet chimp that attacked one day. The wrestler said it was the worst fight he had ever been in, but the guy did subdue the chimp. In short, don't play PETA games with these things. Kick 'em, smash 'em with your fist, even grab a crowbar if it is handy. Just don't think you're going to arm wrestle a chimp and win a beer.

Ned · Post by **Ned** » Mon Mar 07, 2005 10:29 pm

OH MY GOD, I am almost crying with laughter woodchip!

Ned · Post by **Ned** » Mon Mar 07, 2005 10:31 pm

Dude, I do have sad update though. The guy lost all of his fingers, an eye, his lips, etc.:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/07/chimp. ... index.html

Beowulf · Post by **Beowulf** » Mon Mar 07, 2005 10:44 pm

Tried to reason with it? I'll reason with it...with a 12-guage.

Gooberman · Post by **Gooberman** » Tue Mar 08, 2005 12:20 am

Yoe have to show monkeys and apes you are the boss or they will think you, well....the suk. Working with a guy who raised exotic animals, I was hold a short tail macaque monkey when the thing bit me and jumped away. The owner said I had to show the macaque I was the alpha male. Well, for me, thats pretty easy.

You are, Eric Cartmen. Did you yell out "respect my authoritah!"?

Top Gun · Post by **Top Gun** » Tue Mar 08, 2005 1:31 am

Ned wrote:Dude, I do have sad update though. The guy lost all of his fingers, an eye, his lips, etc.:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/07/chimp. ... index.html

That is seriously messed up. As a side note, how long do you think it is until someone from PETA complains about the chimps in question being shot and killed?

woodchip · Post by **woodchip** » Tue Mar 08, 2005 6:25 am

Tried to reason with them? How PC. Liberal apologist politicians take heed.

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Tue Mar 08, 2005 10:54 am

St. James Davis, 62, lost all the fingers from both hands, an eye, part of his nose, cheek, lips and part of his buttocks in the ferocious attack, his wife said on NBC's "Today Show." She also said one of his feet was mutilated. A Kern County Sheriff's commander also said his genitals were mauled

Sounds like they literally ripped him a new a$$hole.

Ned · Post by **Ned** » Tue Mar 08, 2005 12:29 pm

I think I would call it quits after that

dont want to recover

Mobius · Post by **Mobius** » Tue Mar 08, 2005 1:22 pm

And the moral of the story is: DON'T KEEP WILD ANIMALS AS PETS - NOR TREAT THEM LIKE PEOPLE!

N.B. a chimp raised entirely in captivity is STILL a wild animal, and I find it quite easy to believe that many chimps raised in captivity are literally insane, and a prone to attacks.

Honestly, you've got to be an idiot to have a chimp, gator, tiger etc as a pet. These are NOT domestic animals - and no matter how many years they've spent in the company of humans, they can still turn on you and kill you at any time.

A friking birthday cake? I mean WTF? Like a "birthday" has any meaning to a chimp. That's the worst kind of anthropomorphisation.

I have sympathy for the guy, but frankly, am amazed it didn't happen many years ago.

Ned · Post by **Ned** » Tue Mar 08, 2005 1:47 pm

yeh, instincts are like little bits of firmware.

An animal is pretty domesticated for a while, then something hits that code trigger, then bad news, it's going to play out until returning to conditioned ways

The guy's chimp bit a woman's finger off years earlier. Usually diehard animal lovers just start asking "what she did wrong?" and don't get very sympathetic. To a very diehard animal lover, the human is always wrong in any attack. You make the most sense: realize they are not us. Period.

All Hail Mobius Maximus