OMG I have no luck

Couver_ · Post by **Couver_** » Thu Mar 10, 2005 9:17 pm

So the wife unit makes an excellent dinner of meatloaf tonight. Its very spicy with jalapenos all up in it. I finish up and all is well. 15-20 minutes later I get that "metallic" taste in my mouth and the odd feeling along my tounge that means that a power puke is comming. Off to the head I race. I just get the lid up when the velocity vomit is on. I can handle puking only this is when the bad luck hits. I puke so hard that one of those lovely jalapeno bits splashes up and gets me dead in the eye. OMFG IT BURNS!!!! Now I can't stop till the stomach is empty and my eye is on fire. It sucked beyond words. Took a 10 minute wash to get the eye clear. Funny thing now all is right as rain I feel fine. I must have tempted fate someway though.

Now what do I have to do or sacrifice in order not to piss off whatever luck Deity got me tongiht??

JMEaT · Post by **JMEaT** » Thu Mar 10, 2005 9:36 pm

Oooh, puke stories, boy do I have them... Buuuut, I won't bore you.

Maybe stick to those soy beef thingies for awhile?

roid · Post by **roid** » Thu Mar 10, 2005 9:40 pm

woa. puke in your own eye, that's pretty wild.

Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Admiral Thrawn** » Thu Mar 10, 2005 9:56 pm

The ones that suck are the ones that erupt with such velocity that they come out through your nose as well. Not only that, but it's always some "corn kernel" sized chunks of something stuck in your nasal cavity that you either have to blow out, or suck them back in and spit them out through your mouth.

TheCops · Post by **TheCops** » Thu Mar 10, 2005 10:03 pm

i always thought the worst puke stories were the ones where she puked on your shoes. i've lost good footwear that way.

Flabby Chick · Post by **Flabby Chick** » Thu Mar 10, 2005 11:43 pm

The worst pukes are dry pukes. A power puke with all the juices is a cinch compared with a teaspoon of fetid bile.

DCrazy · Post by **DCrazy** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 9:08 am

The worst is acid reflux. It runs in my family, and boy do I get it... all that heartburn, the stomach acid creeping its way up your esophagus, causing your gag reflex to engage and attempt to expel whatever is nagging it, but that just makes it worse... ugh!

WarAdvocat · Post by **WarAdvocat** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 10:33 am

Man Couv, that stinks. I can't say I've ever had the distinct displeasure of that particular happenstance. Sober vomit is bad enough. Add in the indignity of self-pepper spraying-related agony ... heh

I've had a couple doozies however. Once with food poisoning, I was digestively disabled at both ends, simultaneous overflow as my system went into clearance mode.

Another time was alcohol-related. I drank one night, woke up the next day at around 9:00 AM and immediately began vomitting. I couldn't keep anything down, and I was essentially in constant dry heaves for the entire day, until well after dark. The cool thing about dry heaves like that is the quantity of bile you bring up. I musta generated about a gallon of nasty green stuff that day, minimum.

JMEaT · Post by **JMEaT** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 2:20 pm

DCrazy wrote:The worst is acid reflux. It runs in my family, and boy do I get it... all that heartburn, the stomach acid creeping its way up your esophagus, causing your gag reflex to engage and attempt to expel whatever is nagging it, but that just makes it worse... ugh!

I have that too. (GERD I think it's called) I take a 40mg Protonix every morning and it does a nice job keeping heartburn far away.

Scratch · Post by **Scratch** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 2:21 pm

Man ..that's stuff you see in the movies. Crazy puke scenes like in Team America... Sorry to hear it Couv, but I just can't help to laugh a bit at the "My eye is burning...." Reminds me of a movie I saw were some stupid woman lights a car on fire.... *sigh* (shut up, chris!)

Anyway, you know what you need? You need Big Jim to set this right!

Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Admiral Thrawn** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 4:21 pm

Man, War. Reminds me of the time I had food poisoning. Woke up in the morning and rushed to the bathroom. Bent over the toilet to hurl and it ended up coming out of both ends. I turn around and it looked like somebody shot a mudball out of a cannon at the wall behind me. Wasn't fun cleaning up, that's for sure.

Top Gun · Post by **Top Gun** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 4:54 pm

Admiral Thrawn wrote:Man, War. Reminds me of the time I had food poisoning. Woke up in the morning and rushed to the bathroom. Bent over the toilet to hurl and it ended up coming out of both ends. I turn around and it looked like somebody shot a mudball out of a cannon at the wall behind me. Wasn't fun cleaning up, that's for sure.

When in doubt, sit down and grab the trash can. It'll save you a helluva mess later.

HaAGen DaZS · Post by **HaAGen DaZS** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:31 pm

at a festival i tried acid and it didnt go to well. i ended up puking the whole day.

anyway, after around 7 hours of being immobilised except for to pee or puke, i stand up... and start hauling. everyone is watching. i look up between heaves to find around 50 people standing around me in a giant circle. cheering me on. clapping. "ON YERSEL' WEE MAN!"

suddenly. a fry come sout my FREAKIN' NOSE! a FRY!!!
a sharp, crusty fry. that hurt, and on came a nose bleed.

ahh.. what a day.

woodchip · Post by **woodchip** » Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:50 pm

Just be glad you weren't flat on your back and couldn't get up in time....puk'n rains the worsted.

WarAdvocat · Post by **WarAdvocat** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 9:39 am

Oh man, my condolences on your mud-cannon episode Thrawn...

I, luckily, had just enough advance notice to grab the trashcan someone else mentioned.

Cuda68-2 · Post by **Cuda68-2** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 9:51 am

Couver_ wrote: Now what do I have to do or sacrifice in order not to piss off whatever luck Deity got me tongiht??

Not that I blame you, but I think you see only your problems here. Your wife unit must feel like sh*t over this and if you ever want *ex again you better address her feelings before yours. I reccomend blowing the whole thing off as fast as you can and moving forward.

Couver_ · Post by **Couver_** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 10:54 am

Cuda68-2 wrote:
Couver_ wrote: Now what do I have to do or sacrifice in order not to piss off whatever luck Deity got me tongiht??
Not that I blame you, but I think you see only your problems here. Your wife unit must feel like sh*t over this and if you ever want *ex again you better address her feelings before yours. I reccomend blowing the whole thing off as fast as you can and moving forward.

Oh its all good she is like me. She asked if I was ok and started laughing at me. That got me laughing at myself around the time the burn stopped.

Shes a keeper

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 3:56 pm

Rememeber.. with Jalapanoes, don't use water ... use bread. water will only make it worse. That's why it took so long to clear your eye.

roid · Post by **roid** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:09 pm

lol, you are saying to use bread to clean your eye?

OMG I have no luck

OMG I have no luck

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