Men Can't Win

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 2:42 pm

I found this funny ...

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework . you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay.... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay . you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism..
If she gets a job ahead of you ... it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet ... it's male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her.... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you.... she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy . that's domination..
If she asks you ... it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert.
If you don't ... you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape . you're vain.
If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers ... you're after something.
If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements . you're full of yourself.
If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired.
If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed.
If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to.

Top Gun · Post by **Top Gun** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:17 pm

Iceman wrote:Men die first because they want to.

Amen.

Avder · Post by **Avder** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:21 pm

Indeed.

Women are hypocrytical.

TigerRaptor · Post by **TigerRaptor** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:34 pm

(If you buy her flowers ... you're after something).

Or hidding something.

Mobius · Post by **Mobius** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:41 pm

Avder wrote:Indeed.

Women are hypocrytical.

That's "hypocritical". One too many Y's.

And yes - they are.

Beowulf · Post by **Beowulf** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:51 pm

Well, I'm going to lay it down right now and say that common day feminists are full of shiz. Originally, when feminism began to form as an ideology, it was about not having to be subservient to men. Ability to vote. Ability to own property. Ability to work and not have to sit at home and take care of kids all day. Empowerment through their own achievements. But now people think feminism means hating men and blaming them for everything. Those people aren't feminists, they're just whiny bitches. Blah blah blah. Shut up. Women who claim to be feminists today are usually ugly shriveled hags who've gotten rejected by men so much that they decided to label themselves as empowered when really they're just jaded, jealous, bitter wenches. Way to go, Captain Enlightenment. Well I say f*ck feminism. I'm going to start an ideology called "Nobody Bitches" and everyone's going to stop complaining and blaming other people for their miserable lot in life and make a difference themselves. And if anyone complains about some other minority or gender or sexual orientation, you get put in a room with nothing but Barry Manilow pounding in the background until you go crazy.

You want a REAL feminist? Try Charlotte Gilman Perkins. She stood for basically "stop your bitchin ladies and do what you want to do and f*ck everyone else. If you wanna sleep with a man and not call him in the morning because you like it, then do it. If you wanna drink and smoke and not have kids, then do it. But empower yourself through yourself." hell, that's not feminism, that's HUMANISM. Damn straight.

Feminism when it was created was to be admired. It had a cause and a purpose, and it also spawned some of our greatest pieces of literature, but some skanky ★■◆● wearing a tank top with unshaven armpits claiming to be empowering her gender is a waste of oxygen on this planet.

[/testosterone]

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 8:49 pm

Don't mince words Beo, tell us what you really think.

roid · Post by **roid** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 11:13 pm

the collective liners iceman quoted are not from feminists. only some would be. the others are from assholes. i've not met a feminist who's calls any men pansys.

it's like taking the worst of republican and democratic ideologies - putting them together and labeling it "this is how hypocritical america is". no. there are distinctly different, seperate and INCOMPATABLE ideologys quoted, it's not all from the same entity - unless you think woman are all the same.

dissent · Post by **dissent** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 11:42 pm

geez, I can't win *sigh*

Time for that sex change, I guess!

JMEaT · Post by **JMEaT** » Thu Mar 17, 2005 7:43 am

woodchip · Post by **woodchip** » Thu Mar 17, 2005 8:52 am

Here's the difference boys:

Her Side of the Story:
My husband was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a cafÃ© for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off to some place intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried, what did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the heck that meant because he didn't say it back or anything.We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I really think he's seeing someone else.

His Side of the Story:

Played badly today -- shot 87! Can't putt for ★■◆●! Felt kinda tired. Got laid though.

Mr. Perfect · Post by **Mr. Perfect** » Thu Mar 17, 2005 1:54 pm

Thats fucked up.

Epesiacly if it isn't exagerated.

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Thu Mar 17, 2005 3:06 pm

Woddy that is funny as he11!

dissent · Post by **dissent** » Thu Mar 17, 2005 10:44 pm

Iceman, Woodchip - as your examples point out, women just seem to see the world differently than men do. The wiring is just different. Encourages, and sometimes forces, both men and women to be more humble, IMHO.

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