Your favorite Layoff story!

llClutchll · Post by **llClutchll** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 8:29 am

It's that time of year again... Layoffs to increase profit margin!

This year they decided that they would tell everyone today that 50-60% of us will be reduced. The layoffs will start tomorrow and last until Friday. Imagine the ulcers that will develop over the course of this week!

Highlights of our previous layoffs:

Pulled everyone into the lunch room and have them open a envelope... color of the card in the envelope tells you what side of the room to stand on. Everyone to the left goes home... everyone to the right gets to work twice as hard!

Email tells you which room to meet in for a emergency 3:00pm meeting. One room stays, the other goes home.

Fire drill gets everyone out of the building... you know if you have a job when you try to get back in.

Gotta love corporate dedication to the shareholder's profits!

Hopefully I'll make it thru the week!

So... What's your own favorite layoff story... My personal favorite was the fire drill.

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 9:15 am

4pm friday before contruction holiday. This is a 2 week period. Get handed a letter saying I'm layed off starting the 1st day I return from vacation.

Whatever the reason it sucks. Corporate greed knows no bounds.

What pisses me off are the banks. They say they have to layoff people to make more money but they make X BILLION /quarter. Yes, thats BILLION!!! Like how frigin greedy can some people get?

whuppinboy · Post by **whuppinboy** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 10:16 am

"We're sorry, Mr. C'melo, but you're fired due to (never proven - only insinuated by an ex-girlfriend) excessive alcohol consumption during company hours and flagrant sexual harrassment".

3 months off with pay, one commission check and a check for 4 weeks of un-used vacation....gotta love it.

Clutch, i'd hate to work where you're at, too much stress waiting for the axe to fall. how's the suicide rate in your area after those layoff's?

Darkside Heartless · Post by **Darkside Heartless** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 11:38 am

I was fired after vacation. Took a week off and when I got back I went to clock in and my card didn't work. Asked the boss and he said "Oh, yea. You've been fired. Missing a week of work will get you fired."
Turns out the moron told me I had off, but scheduled me on that week anyway.

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 1:08 pm

Darkside Heartless wrote:I was fired after vacation. Took a week off and when I got back I went to clock in and my card didn't work. Asked the boss and he said "Oh, yea. You've been fired. Missing a week of work will get you fired."
Turns out the moron told me I had off, but scheduled me on that week anyway.

Thats almost how I got layed off from Jewel. I took a week off for winter vacation. Typically I worked Mondays, Wensdays, and Fridays so naturally in the book I wrote down that I was off on vacation for the whole week for those days I was assigned, and I told the manager specifically that I would be gone for vacation for that week. Next thing I know when I got back I realized that I was fired for not showing up for work, but for which days? Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. Her explanation was that she took the initiative to sign me up for extra hours since she knew I was off from school for winter break.

Way to go, b!tch.

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 1:32 pm

If you had written proof you told her you were off, you could of sued.

llClutchll · Post by **llClutchll** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 1:42 pm

Ok, so we were notified that all of our department layoffs will take place between 7:30 and 10:30AM tomorrow... 9 prople out of 35 will be let go. 15 of that 35 are untouchable because of project requirements. (I'm not one of the 15

)

So it begins... (I hate waiting!)

bash · Post by **bash** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 1:54 pm

If you don't make a large salary, you're probably being retained. Last big layoff I was part of took seven rounds and they began with the *two-fer* folks, as in those it would take two others getting layed off to equal the savings of laying off just one mid-level manager or line person with too many cost-of-living raises. Me being a little fish there I lasted until round seven (which strung out my employment for an additonal year). Good luck, but I'd take it as a sign to get your resume updated and start hunting regardless of the outcome.

Pun · Post by **Pun** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 8:40 am

Let us know what happens, Clutch. Good luck.

llClutchll · Post by **llClutchll** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 8:54 am

Well, I'm safe! (Whew!)

They tapped into the "Untouchables". This is friggin sad over here. One of these guys is responsible for creating the only program carrying the department... They offed him and threw in a different manager.

Ugh! Who makes these decisions!

DCrazy · Post by **DCrazy** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 9:56 am

I had my job outsourced to India at the age of 17. So much for computer programming being the wave of the future...

SilverFJ · Post by **SilverFJ** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 10:35 am

stick to writing music
what do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 11:48 am

That sucks dude.

If you had written proof you told her you were off, you could of sued.

Im not going to fork over lawyer fees and the trouble to keep a job that was near minimum wage.

Im glad she let me go because I hated that job and it was a good excuse to leave and find a better one.

roid · Post by **roid** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 7:44 pm

SilverFJ wrote:stick to writing music
what do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

i dunno, but have you thought about outsourcing her job to india?
*paw paw*

Ferno · Post by **Ferno** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 10:18 pm

bleh.. and they wonder why there's no company loyalty anymore.. yeesh.

Mobius · Post by **Mobius** » Tue Jul 26, 2005 10:26 pm

CDN_Merlin wrote:If you had written proof you told her you were off, you could of sued.

You could not "of" anything...

You could **HAVE** stayed at school, and learned English, thereby increasing your worth to any employer.

whuppinboy · Post by **whuppinboy** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 5:35 am

Mobius wrote:
CDN_Merlin wrote:If you had written proof you told her you were off, you could of sued.
You could not "of" anything...

You could **HAVE** stayed at school, and learned English, thereby increasing your worth to any employer.

you shouldn't use *and* after a comma Mobi

or rather, you shouldn't have used a comma at all

Ferno · Post by **Ferno** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 11:21 am

Also should have used a semicolon after the word 'english'.

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 11:25 am

I honestly think Mobi is having major problems with his better half and is taking it out on us. Mobi, if you are just gonna be an (_O_), then just stop visiting here. You do not but be a piss @ss about every post you type in.

Gooberman · Post by **Gooberman** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 11:31 am

I like Mobi, he adds flavor.

People have given up correcting me here, I must have finally won out over them.

DarkShadow · Post by **DarkShadow** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 11:45 am

Gooberman wrote:I like Mobi, he adds flavor.

People have given up correcting me here, I must have finally won out over them.

Well your spelling has improved since the old days Goob.

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 12:09 pm

CDN_Merlin wrote:If you had written proof you told her you were off, you could of sued.

Depends on the state.