Am I growing up or pussing out?

Beowulf · Post by **Beowulf** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 6:51 pm

So I was walking through the Wal-Mart parking lot when this guy in a pickup was trying to pull out of a parking space. He had plenty of room to back out as I was walking behind him, but he yells out of his window at me, "Move, jackass!" To which I reply, "Go ★■◆● yourself, ★■◆●!" and give him the finger. The mature and responsibile thing to do.

So he parks his car in the middle of the lot, gets out of his truck, walks up to me, and gets in my face, talking ★■◆●. If this were me a year ago when I was playing football and working out daily and whatnot, I would have knocked this guy silly. I mean, not only would I physically have been able to, but I used to fight a lot - I was never scared of a fight no matter who it was. But now, a year later, a bit fatter and less muscular, I had no desire to fight this guy whatsoever - in fact, I was a little scared - He was taller than me and had the demeanor of an alcoholic pitbull on PCP and smelled like Jack Daniels. But he kept goading me and I just kept making smart-ass remarks and pissing him off until his redneck girlfriend in the passenger seat convinced him to turn around and leave. And that was it.

Am I getting soft? My machismo is a little injured for a couple reasons. One, people usually didn't mess with me before when I was buff, and two, I usually would have just fought him and been done. I mean, I know it's the smarter thing to do to just walk away from it. He was clearly drunk and he seemed like the type who would carry a weapon of somesort. But still, it is a bit of a blow to the ego.

TheCope · Post by **TheCope** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:11 pm

Violence is pretty useless and short sighted. When people get violent over driving behavior I assume they were bedwetters or have a small p,enis <--(nice filter: it's a human body part).

Donâ??t be 30 years old with a scar on your face from some high school fight that you can't remember... that will ruin your ego more than this incident ever could.

De Rigueur · Post by **De Rigueur** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:37 pm

If the guy was drunk, you could get his tag number and call the cops on him. Of course, you still may have felt conflicted about doing that, but you'd have the public service rationale at your disposal.

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:40 pm

Fighting solves nothing. All it proves is you are immature.

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:40 pm

Better then getting a disorderly conduct ticket.

will_kill · Post by **will_kill** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 8:01 pm

cool, a topic I'm real familiar with..
hmmm...I say smash ***holes on the spot(given the right situation,i.e., dark alley, raining out, no witnesses, that sort of thing) and pay the consequences later if need be...however, in this case I would say you done right(although a swift leg sweep would have prolly put him down behind cars for you to work your magic

). Too many people out here think they can run their mouth with no consequences and the cops or someone will come just in time to save their ***. IMME, if a person is acting that way, they've done something (at some point) to deserve a beating and that's just their karma coming full circle. Their beggin for a whuppin'...so hey, please them and yourself, all in one stroke!

I would like also like to state that the fear you felt was not and should not be misconstrued as some sort of weakness...fear has kept me alive way more often than it has ever hindered me.
One other importent factor(that you apparently did'nt overlook) is the shape you are in vs. your opponent. When faced with an unfamiliar opponent, I always go slow at first, letting them 'throw what they know', watching, analyzing, then within a few seconds (20-40), they are already spent, both technically and physically, as well as so caught up in their own psychological dominance they wo'nt see the barrage of carefully placed combinations explode until it's too late.

disclaimer: the above posted information is intended for entertainment purposes only and should not in anyway, shape, or form be duplicated by anyone for any purpose whatsoever.

will_kill · Post by **will_kill** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 8:04 pm

CDN_Merlin wrote:Fighting solves nothing. All it proves is you are immature.

sorry but...

WarAdvocat · Post by **WarAdvocat** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 8:14 pm

Jeb Bush says if you physically threaten me I can shoot you. I don't have to run away.

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 8:18 pm

will_kill wrote:
CDN_Merlin wrote:Fighting solves nothing. All it proves is you are immature.
sorry but...

But what? You're stronger or better at fighting than the other guy? That's ALL it proves. Nothing else.

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:02 pm

What Merlin should have said was: "Fighting over something stupid solves nothing and proves you are immature."

will_kill · Post by **will_kill** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:19 pm

CDN_Merlin wrote:Fighting solves nothing. All it proves is you are immature.

sorry but...

[/quote]

But what? You're stronger or better at fighting than the other guy? That's ALL it proves. Nothing else.[/quote]

Look, at the risk of sounding obnoxious(which I do not intend at all), Your good at what your good at...whether it be handin' out ***whuppins or washing dishes...

Now that being said, the art of physical combat requires dedication and committment just like any other art form. It, (just because it is barbaric like so many other bad habits we humans have) is no less of a sport than tennis where the will to win is more feirce in John McEnroe than say, ermmm...the dude that peddles the cameras, what's his name, eheh.
It's just the display of mankinds most primal instincts that invokes this kind of view. Remember, our fear and ignorance can lead to great harm of our human brethren, on a psychological level.

On a side...I need it to be known that I am not one to just hit the streets looking for trouble, far from it...but if trouble finds me it will have wanted to pack a lunch

CUDA · Post by **CUDA** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:25 pm

I've been fortunate, I've never had to fight about something, been close a few times but the other guy usually backed off, maybe me being 6'6" 255 lbs had something to do with it

that didnt mean that there wasnt fear there on both sides. as was stated it depends on WHAT your fighting for.

Sam-Wise wrote:"there's good in this world Mr Frodo and its worth fighting for"

just make sure what your fighting for is worth it and it not just to prove how macho you are

Buef · Post by **Buef** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:39 pm

To which I reply, "Go **** yourself, ****ole!" and give him the finger.

Two wrongs don't make it right....

Sounds like in a different circumstances you guys might have been friends shar'n beers or somthing....

Ferno · Post by **Ferno** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:48 pm

heh. if he takes a swing at you, pin him on the ground and say you're making a 'citizen's arrest'. charge him with assault.

but to answer your question: I think it's more of a case of you being smarter in picking your battles. Growing up in a way.

TechPro · Post by **TechPro** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:48 pm

Why bother responding in the first place? Why bother trying to tell him to move his *** ?

Ignore the dummy. He wasn't worth your time.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:56 pm

Krom wrote:Better then getting a disorderly conduct ticket.

X2

ya did fine. There is a time to fight ... in a parking lot is not one of them.

kurupt · Post by **kurupt** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:04 am

i disagree, ya sissy

Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Admiral Thrawn** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 6:30 am

Well, I'm not too Keen on people in my face talking smack. That's one of the FEW things that actually would set me off and get me fighting. But at the same time, I wouldn't have flipped him off either. There was stupidity on both sides.

will_kill · Post by **will_kill** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 6:53 am

TechPro wrote:Why bother responding in the first place? Why bother trying to tell him to move his *** ?

Ignore the dummy. He wasn't worth your time.

hmmmm ok...last post on this...

First of all if you don't respond to that kind of bullishness this kind of individual will continue to thrive in our midst. Do you really want to face that on a daily basis? The cops cannot be there every minute, and it's people like me and others that keep these jerks in check to begin with, not the cops. They don't respect the law or your family and that's why they act the way they do. When you know you are basically immune to something or likely to get away with it are you not more apt to 'go ahead' than not?
When involved inna' sitch' akin to this one you better respond...even if your scared ****less. Don't worry, the fear will only fuel you IF a physical confrontation ensues. ahhh, but you say, "I can't even swing a baseball bat let alone my fists"...as long as you are in the right environment (that calls for this extreme physical behavior) you will do the instinctual thing...just stay focused at all times and if it gets too hot, either run or dodge(heh, reminds me of D3).The biggest point of my rant here is to leave some sort of impression on the foul-mouthed drunkard. As drunk as he (or she) may be,(given that their not plastered beyond the point of normal cognitive reasoning, in which case I do recommend leaving the scene without further ado, you could hurt the person way more than is necessary) they won't soon forget your response, especially if you look like a (please pardon) "computer geek". And for those never involved in this type of 'archaic nonsense', the feeling of standing up for your principles (or someone else's) even if you come out on the losing end, is blissful to say the least.
Also, Ferno made an excellent point about making a citizen's arrest...this is almost unheard of anymore yet it is still perfectly legal to do so (without the use of excessive force). He was also right about "growing up" and "picking your battles". We all get to a point in life when we don't really want to engage in this type of activity, however, there are alot of 'don't want to' things in life that we do anyway ON PRINCIPLE'S alone. This should be one of them as well. Remember, your children have to grow up in this world too, it's your DUTY to say something and not ignore behavior that may come back around to smack ya' in the back o' the head.
Stand and deliver is not something they just do in the joint(prison)or military...we need to implement that same mindset on the streets (erm, read 'freeworld') as well.

Sad but true...

disclaimer: Information posted above is purely informative and is intented for entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt to recreate or imitate anything I have written in any way, shape or form for any reason whatsoever.

will_kill · Post by **will_kill** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 6:59 am

Admiral Thrawn wrote:Well, I'm not too Keen on people in my face talking smack. That's one of the FEW things that actually would set me off and get me fighting. But at the same time, I wouldn't have flipped him off either. There was stupidity on both sides.

indeed...no reason to piss off your opponent (giving them a slight psychological edge perhaps). Quickly survey the situation (to see what you can legally get away with) and commence to whuppin'...words are a waste of precious energy at that point.

I know, I know, I said last post ten posts' ago but this subject gets my dander up

Hahnenkam · Post by **Hahnenkam** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 7:12 am

Best choice is to walk away.

Better choice is find out where he lives. Then dab a little skunk essence in the air vent and under the door handles of his truck. You can find it at some hunting/trapping supply stores. My grandfather uses that stuff for trapping. It will bring tears to your eyes.

rijruna1 · Post by **rijruna1** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 7:30 am

i`v been known to be of the violent persuasion on more than one occassion having spent a fair bit of time making doors look small in rock venues. Long before the threat of legal/civil actions against you for assault etc. Been known to hospitalise some as well. but, as time progressed from me being an angry young man to someone with a little of a realisation that there will always be someone whom you might lose to.
I then got to my present frame of mind from: Voltaire, 'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent'. [That doesnt mean that I wont get in your face if I feel agrieved enough Or to not belt the living daylights out of someone who wants to take it far enough.]
After all, adrenaline flows easily in me & doesnt take much 'to light blue touch paper & retire', but sometimes its easier to just take a deep breath & walk away.
cheers
rij

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 9:38 am

I think what a lot of people are saying in a nutshell here is "Part of growing up is knowing when to puss out."

Palzon · Post by **Palzon** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 11:19 am

Krom wrote:I think what a lot of people are saying in a nutshell here is "Part of growing up is knowing when to puss out."

Under the circumstances it sounds like you "pussed out" but need to "grow up"

I'm not trying to be hard on you. I'm sure you are growing up. You're a smart guy.

IMHO, violence should be the last choice. The key is to refrain from violence because you know there are better choices, not because you are afraid, out of shape, or feel you might lose. I haven't hit another human being in anger in 22 years though I've had many opportunities.

SilverFJ · Post by **SilverFJ** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 11:24 am

Before I get bashed on by saying what I'm gunna say, I represent the Missoula Montana DogPound Dojo and am a trained cage fighter.

Violence, in my opinion, is a sport, and an act of enjoyment. It is a drug in itself. HOWEVER-- When fighting to prove something, when fighting to solve a conflict, THAT'S where violence becomes immature. If you're at a party and some dude calls you a peice of ★■◆● you don't do anything but tell him to ★■◆● off unless he wants to come with 'stones and sticks'. You scare the ★■◆● out of him. But if you're at that same party and you and the same guy are just getting hammered and want to fight for fun there's nothing immature about it.

In your situation if he was threatening you after you said you didn't want to do ★■◆● then pummell him. I'd only do that if he swung first tho...

my 2 cents

will_kill · Post by **will_kill** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 11:30 am

And I do stand up and loudly commend everyone who has not resorted to violence...but please don't damn those of us who use violence against violent aggressors, it really and truly is the only thing their puny prefrontals seem to absorb(well, besides the inane BS that got 'em acting that way to begin with).

Birdseye · Post by **Birdseye** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 12:57 pm

growing up. next year you won't yell at the guy and nothing like this will happen to you.

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 1:50 pm

Will, how is violence gonna put an end to violence? It doesn't. It just re-inforces them to continue fighting and being jerks, just like you are by walking up to them and starting a shouting match.

To me, this is a classic case of chest thumping and a "my dick is bigger than your dick " syndrome. What woudl you do if for the next year you lost every fight you ever got into cause some guy gave you the finger and you wanted to teach him a lesson? What if one fight landed you in a coffin because the guy pulled out a gun and shot you?

Ever think of these things? Probably not cause you're to busy looking for fights.

Beowulf · Post by **Beowulf** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:50 pm

Pally, I dunno if I said this or not, but I didn't fight him not because I thought I would lose or because I thought he was in better shape (he wasn't), but because I simply had no desire whatsoever to fight him. Especially over something so inane. It just wasn't worth it.

Phoenix Red · Post by **Phoenix Red** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:50 pm

If you're not going to kill him, and he's not trying to hurt you, fighting is a waste of time and teeth.

WarAdvocat · Post by **WarAdvocat** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 3:58 pm

Heh.

Please pardon this interruption.... I just can't wait until this guy comes out with a story about how he blew off some mexican's leg w/ a .50 caliber revolver.

Sorry if you don't know who I mean... Interruption over.

Nirvana · Post by **Nirvana** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 4:49 pm

Murder is the only answer at a time like this.

will_kill · Post by **will_kill** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 4:54 pm

WarAdvocat wrote:Heh.Please pardon this interruption.... I just can't wait until this guy comes out with a story about how he blew off some mexican's leg w/ a .50 caliber revolver.
Sorry if you don't know who I mean... Interruption over.

are we talkin' semi-precious metals here?

will_kill · Post by **will_kill** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 5:05 pm

CDN_Merlin wrote:Will, how is violence gonna put an end to violence? It doesn't. It just re-inforces them to continue fighting and being jerks, just like you are by walking up to them and starting a shouting match.To me, this is a classic case of chest thumping and a "my dick is bigger than your dick " syndrome. What woudl you do if for the next year you lost every fight you ever got into cause some guy gave you the finger and you wanted to teach him a lesson? What if one fight landed you in a coffin because the guy pulled out a gun and shot you?
Ever think of these things? Probably not cause you're to busy looking for fights.

OMG!

How dare you put words in my mouth and flame me in one post(MODerator: I'll politely ask here for you to look into this totally uncalled for 'name calling'... -jerk-
I was going to do the polite thing and answer but unless you can readdress me (w/o false implication and basic harrassing speach filled with outlandish 'if's') I'll just presume you don't have the intelligence and be on my merry way.

roid · Post by **roid** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 1:30 am

Beowulf wrote:So I was walking through the Wal-Mart parking lot when this guy in a pickup was trying to pull out of a parking space. He had plenty of room to back out as I was walking behind him, but he yells out of his window at me, "Move, jackass!" To which I reply, "Go **** yourself, ****ole!" and give him the finger. The mature and responsibile thing to do.

So he parks his car in the middle of the lot, gets out of his truck, walks up to me, and gets in my face, talking ****. If this were me a year ago when I was playing football and working out daily and whatnot, I would have knocked this guy silly. I mean, not only would I physically have been able to, but I used to fight a lot - I was never scared of a fight no matter who it was. But now, a year later, a bit fatter and less muscular, I had no desire to fight this guy whatsoever - in fact, I was a little scared - He was taller than me and had the demeanor of an alcoholic pitbull on PCP and smelled like Jack Daniels. But he kept goading me and I just kept making smart-*** remarks and pissing him off until his redneck girlfriend in the passenger seat convinced him to turn around and leave. And that was it.

Am I getting soft? My machismo is a little injured for a couple reasons. One, people usually didn't mess with me before when I was buff, and two, I usually would have just fought him and been done. I mean, I know it's the smarter thing to do to just walk away from it. He was clearly drunk and he seemed like the type who would carry a weapon of somesort. But still, it is a bit of a blow to the ego.

i see your options as either throwing the first strike, or waiting until he did and then "finishing it".
you did the later, he didn't actually start anything, you shouldn't beat yourself just up coz YOU didn't snap - you should probabaly be patting yourself on the back for your countenance. you waited until he started something, and since he didn't, then he walked away.
i still see you as the big man here.

Sergeant Thorne · Post by **Sergeant Thorne** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 7:30 am

Birdseye wrote:growing up. next year you won't yell at the guy and nothing like this will happen to you.

x2

Some guy who is either an idiot or having a bad day isn't worth it, IMO, especially if it's the latter (I've had my bad days, though I try my best not to take it out on other people).

BUBBALOU · Post by **BUBBALOU** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 9:19 am

situation.. drunk verbally assaulting you for sign language

sir i would strongly suggest you return to your vehical before you are arrested, have a good day! copy down his tag can call the police

If he motions to strike you, dodge and counter by collapsing his esophagus with the he side of your hand. Then enjoy the rest of your day knowing that you prevented yourself from receiving bodily harm and had a drunk arested and prevented someone getting killed with him at the wheel.

will_kill · Post by **will_kill** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 9:48 am

BUBBALOU wrote:situation.. drunk verbally assaulting you for sign language
sir i would strongly suggest you return to your vehical before you are arrested, have a good day! copy down his tag can call the police
If he motions to strike you, dodge and counter by collapsing his esophagus with the he side of your hand. Then enjoy the rest of your day knowing that you prevented yourself from receiving bodily harm and had a drunk arested and prevented someone getting killed with him at the wheel.

...excessive force

Ned · Post by **Ned** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:03 pm

Ignore idiots.

If they act like that daily, they WILL eventually run into a cop (who is paid to take them down).

Hostile · Post by **Hostile** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 8:02 am

In these cases, I always find it's good to smile, say hi, and wave as though he were your best friend. Road rage intensifies when you do this, but they somehow always seem to feel more stupid and just move along when you do that AND you didn't make an ass of yourself either.

I am also a recovered violencaholic........