Thot dis waz funnay ...
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Life is a coin; you can spend it any way you wish, but you can only spend it once.
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
Actually warm water has worked for me, when i was choking on a frozen popsicleIceman wrote:Thot dis waz funnay ...
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
haha i loved thatIceman wrote: 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
i honestly started wondering about this when i was a kid, and i STILL wonderIceman wrote:4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
. it just seems so plausable.another idea from the same brain box: can AIDS be used as a treatment for Leukemia?
this idea is actually a deep part of my personal ethics. i word it more as "if you know howto dig deep enough into people you'll see that absolutely everyone is ★■◆●ing crazy. if everyone is crazy... no-one is crazy. that only leaves the intollerant leftover - the only ones who refuse to admit they too are crazy. denial being the only label left worthy to use."Iceman wrote:Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
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Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
