Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: Why do men fart more than women?
A: Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
1: I married a Miss Right.
2: I just didn't know her first name was Always.
1: Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
* Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
1: In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
2: Then God created Man and rested.
3: Then God created Woman.
4: Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
