How to avoid your own birthday?

[Avder]

MY birthday is later this month and I have decided I want absolutely nothing to do with it. The problem is that other people in my life tend to make a very big deal about it. All I want is for my birthday to come and go without any special interruptions, phone calls, messages, parties, or even cake. I just want it to be like any other day.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can actually accomplish this? How I can convince the people who always make a fuss to just be completely silent and forgo the usual well-wishings that I don't appreciate, the gifts I don't want, and the annoyance that comes with all of it?

Basically all I want for my birthday is some peace and quiet. How do I get people to understand that?

[CORD]

Tell them.

[Avder]

Tell them.

If that actually worked I wouldn't be asking advice. I'm looking for ways to both tell them AND get them to understand that I actually mean it. I've told them to ignore my birthday in the past and it just has the opposite effect. They basically think that by asking them to ignore it I'm really asking them to make a bigger deal about it, like I'm just being modest or something.

[Isaac]

email them this thread.

[Avder]

email them this thread.

Most of them dont use the internet that much.

[CUDA]

Go all Bruce Wayne on them from Batman Begins. I bet you'll never have to celebrate another birthday again

[Top Gun]

I think it's kind of a strange attitude to have in general. Cake and free stuff are two of the finer things in life.

[Heretic]

Yea sponges tend think that way TG. I feel the same as you Avder just disappear that day go on a day trip don't tell any one where you are going. Spending time alone is a good thing unless you don't like yourself.

[Alter-Fox]

But take them aside and talk to them, and explain that you do mean it seriously. That's what my brother did, and it worked - for all of us (because no one in my family wants it to be a big deal).

[Foil]

x2 to Heretic and Alter-Fox's suggestions. The former will leave people wondering, but they'll get it, or at least they won't make as much effort next time. The latter is more direct, and really depends on how well folks listen.

[dissent]

Yeah, I like to minimize my birthday too, but it looks like you want to have it all your way; win for me and lose for my family that wants to celebrate it. Why not try to have a (partial) win- (partial) win scenario. Tell them about your strong desire for a scaled back celebration. You pick a venue - favorite restaurant; picnic at a park, etc. Do what you can to control the parameters; food, atmosphere, length of time involved, etc. You get more control, they get a little chance to do their celebration.

Short of joining the French Foreign Legion or threatening fire and brimstone, do what you can to get a little win-win for everybody. I find life easier when you can find ways to do that.

[flip]

Something I learned all those years framing. If presented with a bad situation that can't be avoided, immediately find the best solution and present it. If you got to do it, at least you can do it your way.

[Top Gun]

Yea sponges tend think that way TG.

Ooh, big man here. Watch out everyone.

[Sergeant Thorne]

What's all this "everyone" stuff? He's only picking on you.

[Thenior]

Still, I agree that Heretics response is silly.

You guys should really think about the root of what is going on here. People are giving you cake and celebrating because they like you and want to show you their appreciation. If you want your birthday to be mellow, just get out for a couple days. If you can't get time off work, just take the evening out with a friend or something.

You don't like the gifts people give you... well lets just say if your biggest problem is getting gifts you don't like, I think you are pretty well off.

[sdfgeoff]

I also downplay birthdays. I mean, what the big deal anyway.
My modus operandi at the moment for avoiding birthdays is simply not to tell anyone. I haven't had anyone do anything for my birthday for a few years now because of that. They simply don't know about it.

[Avder]

I think a combination of telling them not to do anything and vanishing on the day in question is the route I'm going to look at. I'll see if I can find a friend of mine to spend a night out of town with, or at least at some upscale hotel for the night.