Muslim Jokes

[woodchip]

So lets all lighten up and tell some not entirely offensive jokes even a Islamnofascist could appreciate. Like this:

An Arab enters a taxi cab in Dallas, Texas..........

Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because
he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and; in the time of
the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music, which is
music of the infidel's and certainly no radio ........

So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, pulls over to the
side, stops the cab and opens the back door.

The Arab asks him: “What are you doing man?”

The Texan answers: “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis. So get your ass out and wait for a camel.”

[Nightshade]

This /SOUNDS/ like a joke, but it's reality:

A local bookstore has “sold out” of a controversial marriage guide that advises Muslim men on how to beat their wives

http://www.torontosun.com/2012/03/23/bo ... heir-wives

[Nightshade]

Yet another "joke" ...

http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/29 ... mark-steyn

[TechPro]

This thread is in poor taste and is being used to spread the certain people's hate towards a specific group of people ... disguised as humor. It's called bigotry and society has struggled against that kind of hate for generations. Those participating in posting the 'Muslim jokes' are no different from a certain group who wear white robes and tall white pointy hats while covering their faces.

Disgusting.

[Nightshade]

Those participating in posting the 'Muslim jokes' are no different from a certain group who wear white robes and tall white pointy hats while covering their faces.

What if we made fun of the klu klux klan? Would that be acceptable or would you find that offensive as well?

[TigerRaptor]

Lets find out.

[youtube]GeaVGLcQ-fE[/youtube]

[TechPro]

Those participating in posting the 'Muslim jokes' are no different from a certain group who wear white robes and tall white pointy hats while covering their faces.

What if we made fun of the klu klux klan? Would that be acceptable or would you find that offensive as well?

Would it matter? The fact you asked that question shows you (in your mind) place Muslims and the Klu Klux Klan at the same level. You bigotry towards Muslims is showing.

[Nightshade]

you (in your mind) place Muslims and the Klu Klux Klan at the same level

Muslims are adherents to a religion- willingly (or in many cases UNwillingly) that teaches supremacy over others to the point of killing the infidel- or KILLING apostates (those that free themselves of islam.)

Does any other religion demand and mandate the DEATH of an apostate? When is the last time a Jew killed a former Jew for becoming an atheist or converting to Christianity? When is the last time a Christian killed a former Christian for becoming an atheist or converting to another religion? How often does this occur as opposed to muslims killing or demanding the death of a former muslim for daring to leave the 'faith' of islam?

Individual muslims <> islam, but islam = intolerance, supremacy and misogyny to the point of murder.

[vision]

Does any other religion demand and mandate the DEATH of an apostate?

Technically, the Old Testament does, which makes Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all guilty. It's just the Muslims that have a habit of following the rules. The way I see it, they are all basically the same religion anyway, so whatever.

[Nightshade]

It's just the Muslims that have a habit of following the rules.

Eureka! Ding ding ding ding! We have a winner! (Though it would be more like 'more muslims follow the savage and barbaric rules more closely than the other two religions' adherents do.')

It is also that both of the other 'Abrahamic' religions have been 'reformed' to allow modernity and an ascent from backwardness.

[Top Gun]

And you've never once stopped to wonder exactly why this is the case? Like, say, the sociopolitical clusterfuck that the Middle East has been for several centuries? Nah, must be all the religion's fault.

And for the record, it's not all that difficult to dig up Jew-on-Jew or Christian-on-Christian violence incidents. Or were "The Troubles" not a big deal?

[CUDA]

The way I see it, they are all basically the same religion anyway, so whatever.

that just shows you CLEARLY have NO CLUE to what Christianity is about

[woodchip]

This thread is in poor taste and is being used to spread the certain people's hate towards a specific group of people ... disguised as humor. It's called bigotry and society has struggled against that kind of hate for generations. Those participating in posting the 'Muslim jokes' are no different from a certain group who wear white robes and tall white pointy hats while covering their faces.

Disgusting.

So what you are saying is, since the joke is about Muslims it is offensive ? I just wonder how offended you'd of been if I titled the topic "Christian Jokes" and posted:

A priest, a rabbi, and a pastor are sitting in a bar, across the street from a brothel. They are sipping their drinks when they see a rabbi walk in to the brothel. "Oy! It's awful to see a man of the cloth give into temptation", says the rabbi.
A short while later, they see a pastor walk into the brothel. "Damn! It's terrible to see a man of the cloth give into such temptation", says the pastor.
In a little bit, they see a priest enter the brothel.
"It's nice to see the ladies, who have been used so poorly, have time to confess their sins", says the priest.

[vision]

The way I see it, they are all basically the same religion anyway, so whatever.

that just shows you CLEARLY have NO CLUE to what Christianity is about

Riiiiight... But if you ask a Christian, Jew, and Muslim what their religion is all about, you'll get basically the same answer. Try it sometime.

[Foil]

Tread lightly, guys.

There are some good topics in here about differences / similarities between religions, despite the 'jokes' and potential flames. Stick to that, and keep it civil.

[CUDA]

The way I see it, they are all basically the same religion anyway, so whatever.

that just shows you CLEARLY have NO CLUE to what Christianity is about

Riiiiight... But if you ask a Christian, Jew, and Muslim what their religion is all about, you'll get basically the same answer. Try it sometime.

then tell me. what is Christianity about vision??

[Nightshade]

And you've never once stopped to wonder exactly why this is the case? Like, say, the sociopolitical **** that the Middle East has been for several centuries?

And what is the cause of this sociopolitical 'stuff' that you speak of? Any clue perhaps?

And for the record, it's not all that difficult to dig up Jew-on-Jew or Christian-on-Christian violence incidents. Or were "The Troubles" not a big deal?

Cool- but exactly what is happening TODAY? It's as if you're saying "Oh, the KKK isn't so horrible 'cause look at what the black panthers are doing- so SHUT UP!'"

Sorry, I won't shut up.

[Top Gun]

And you've never once stopped to wonder exactly why this is the case? Like, say, the sociopolitical **** that the Middle East has been for several centuries?

And what is the cause of this sociopolitical 'stuff' that you speak of? Any clue perhaps?

Oh, just maybe a few centuries of colonial meddling and interference that left a significant portion of the population impoverished and angry, i.e. the exact conditions that allow extremism to spread like wildfire. This isn't exactly rocket science.

Cool- but exactly what is happening TODAY? It's as if you're saying "Oh, the KKK isn't so horrible 'cause look at what the black panthers are doing- so SHUT UP!'"

Sorry, I won't shut up.

Just a couple of months ago I read a story about ultra-orthodox Jewish groups in Israel harassing non-members in what was essentially a dead ringer for fundamentalist Muslim behavior. This sort of thing isn't all that hard to find. And if you're going to retort something like, "But those are just isolated incidents," see my first point.

[vision]

then tell me. what is Christianity about vision??

I'm not falling for it, n00b. This is the point where I make a statement, then you say something along the lines of "Oh, you don't know anything! That's not real Christianity," thus trying to put yourself in authority and diminishing my input. Old tactics are old. Try again.

I was raised Christian by my community and was deeply religious for many, many years. And looking back I can see how Christians of all sorts can't even agree on the real meaning of Christianity. It's a theme with all religions.

If I say that Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all have the same goal of achieving total union with God's love, this is a 100% true statement. Where they differ is the path. Christians choose Jesus Christ. But even within this path there are countless sub-paths, thus the many different flavors of Christianity.

One God, many personal paths to reach the goal. The "differences" are meaningless since not only will Christians disagree with Jews and Muslims, they disagree with Christians too. You'll never find another Christian you agree with 100%. Just won't happen. There is nothing about your religious belief that sets you apart from the others. You are just one of billions stumbling through the dark trying to reach the light of God.

Ok, your turn to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about and how your view is better and you know the truth and all that stuff.

[Nightshade]

Just a couple of months ago I read a story about ultra-orthodox Jewish groups in Israel harassing non-members in what was essentially a dead ringer for fundamentalist Muslim behavior.

Except where these ultra-orthodox Jews killed non-orthodox...oh wait.

I don't think the behavior of islamists = behavior of 'extreme' Jews when it comes to body count.

[CUDA]

then tell me. what is Christianity about vision??

I'm not falling for it, n00b.

LOL Noob

I was raised Christian by my community and was deeply religious for many, many years. And looking back I can see how Christians of all sorts can't even agree on the real meaning of Christianity. It's a theme with all religions.

being raised "Christian" doesn't mean that you understand a thing.

Give me rules, I will break them
Show me lines, I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes


Give me words, I’ll misuse them
Obligations, I’ll misplace them
Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free,

One God, many personal paths to reach the goal. The "differences" are meaningless since not only will Christians disagree with Jews and Muslims, they disagree with Christians too. You'll never find another Christian you agree with 100%. Just won't happen. There is nothing about your religious belief that sets you apart from the others. You are just one of billions stumbling through the dark trying to reach the light of God.

I'm not stumbling. I've found the light

Ok, your turn to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about and how your view is better and you know the truth and all that stuff.

you still didn't say what the differences are. you posted alot of BLAH BLAH and it's actually much easier than you're making it out to be. as you correctly pointed out all 3 Religions ARE based off the old testament however that's where the similarities end.
Judiasm and Islam are Both rules based, you MUST live by the laws in order to attain your place with God in heaven according to their beliefs
Christianity does not require that you live by the laws. Christianity is Relational based. it's only requirement to attain your place with God in heaven is a relationship with Christ. once you have that relationship then you seek the same kind of relationship with others. and stirve to be the type of Man the Christ is. there are MANY that believe in God, but few are those that are disciples or followers of his teachings.

[vision]

It's like you didn't even read my post. Hilariously predictable too. I got a good laugh out of it.

[snoopy]

If I say that Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all have the same goal of achieving total union with God's love, this is a 100% true statement. Where they differ is the path. Christians choose Jesus Christ. But even within this path there are countless sub-paths, thus the many different flavors of Christianity.

One God, many personal paths to reach the goal. The "differences" are meaningless since not only will Christians disagree with Jews and Muslims, they disagree with Christians too. You'll never find another Christian you agree with 100%. Just won't happen. There is nothing about your religious belief that sets you apart from the others. You are just one of billions stumbling through the dark trying to reach the light of God.

If you ask a Jew, Muslim, and Christian "how do you get to heaven," you will essentially get two different answers - one from the Christian and a second from the Jew and Muslim.

If you ask 100 genuine Christians "how do you get to heaven," you will essentially get the same answer from all 100.

You're right that some of the differences don't matter... but others (grace vs. works) mean for a completely different approach to people's entire life.

[callmeslick]

Muslims are adherents to a religion- willingly (or in many cases UNwillingly) that teaches supremacy over others to the point of killing the infidel- or KILLING apostates (those that free themselves of islam.)

seriously, you are the single most ignorant, intolerant individual I've read on the Net in a long time. Please, keep it to yourself. After the long history of Christian barbarism in the name of bringing their religion to the 'savages', to the various acts of intolerance by Hindus, Jews and others, few religions get a clean slate when history is looked at closely. To rant, on a near daily basis, as you do, merely exposes the fact that you know little about Islam, understand even less, and insist on blathering on in some sort of lame-a** attempt to spread your Islamophobia. This nation was built upon the principle of TOLERANCE, so try being an American and not a bigot, at least for a while, and see if life doesn't get a little more pleasant, if not for yourself at least for those you come into contact with..

[woodchip]

You may be right to a point Slick, but when you are almost inundated with unspeakable barbarity by Muslims on a almost daily basis, do you really expect people to think of Islam as a warm cuddly religion?

[callmeslick]

You may be right to a point Slick, but when you are almost inundated with unspeakable barbarity by Muslims on a almost daily basis, do you really expect people to think of Islam as a warm cuddly religion?

I frankly don't expect people to figure out other folk's religion or lack thereof, and still have the time to figure out their own. Feel about them whatever you wish, but realize that you are making generalizations based on very little hard knowledge, and that others may both feel and know differently. For what it's worth, I saw nothing offensive in the jokes actually posted in the thread, not that any of you all should quit your day jobs for comedy writing or editing.

[Top Gun]

Just a couple of months ago I read a story about ultra-orthodox Jewish groups in Israel harassing non-members in what was essentially a dead ringer for fundamentalist Muslim behavior.

Except where these ultra-orthodox Jews killed non-orthodox...oh wait.

I don't think the behavior of islamists = behavior of 'extreme' Jews when it comes to body count.

If you really want to go the "body count" route, I'd be willing to bet that atrocities committed in the name of Christianity would most likely outnumber those committed in the name of Islam. However, playing it by pure numbers is an extremely stupid concept, as a deplorable act remains just as deplorable whether it's committed once or a thousand times.

[woodchip]

How about you do a body count in the last 50 years where Christians or Jews piled up the bodies like the Muslims have. Going back 500 years doesn't count.

[CUDA]

It's like you didn't even read my post. Hilariously predictable too. I got a good laugh out of it.

I agree Hilariously predictable. you still haven't stated what the differences are. and there ARE differences. are you afraid or do you just not know the answer

[TechPro]

This thread is in poor taste and is being used to spread the certain people's hate towards a specific group of people ... disguised as humor. It's called bigotry and society has struggled against that kind of hate for generations. Those participating in posting the 'Muslim jokes' are no different from a certain group who wear white robes and tall white pointy hats while covering their faces.

Disgusting.

So what you are saying is, since the joke is about Muslims it is offensive ? I just wonder how offended you'd of been if I titled the topic "Christian Jokes" and posted:

<a pretty lame joke>.

Not because the jokes are specifically about Muslims, but because the jokes are about people of a specific religious adherent whatever the religeous adherent may be. That's what is in poor taste, and is offensive.

[CUDA]

If you really want to go the "body count" route, I'd be willing to bet that atrocities committed in the name of Christianity would most likely outnumber those committed in the name of Islam. However, playing it by pure numbers is an extremely stupid concept, as a deplorable act remains just as deplorable whether it's committed once or a thousand times.

if you are referring to the crusades you might wish to read a little deeper into it's history

[Top Gun]

How about you do a body count in the last 50 years where Christians or Jews piled up the bodies like the Muslims have. Going back 500 years doesn't count.

Um...why not? And did you miss the part where I said that defining this by "body count" is absurd in the first place?

If you really want to go the "body count" route, I'd be willing to bet that atrocities committed in the name of Christianity would most likely outnumber those committed in the name of Islam. However, playing it by pure numbers is an extremely stupid concept, as a deplorable act remains just as deplorable whether it's committed once or a thousand times.

if you are referring to the crusades you might wish to read a little deeper into it's history

I have, which is why I made the statement I did.