Dear Abby

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 10:37 am

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting
charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently
become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a
part time "working girl". All things considered, my problem is this. I love
my fiancÃ©' and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly
want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my
cousin who supports John Kerry for President?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

Lothar · Post by **Lothar** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 10:38 am

did I miss the memo that said this has to be posted exactly once per month?

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 10:44 am

You must have. I will have my people send you another copy.

snoopy · Post by **snoopy** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 10:53 am

Holy crap- I live in Longview!

Avder · Post by **Avder** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:38 pm

Seen it. Can we torch this?

De Rigueur · Post by **De Rigueur** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 1:03 pm

Dedman wrote:You must have. I will have my people send you another copy.

While you're at it, send another copy of the one about the cover sheets on the TRP reports -- just in case.

Topher · Post by **Topher** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 1:40 pm

De Rigueur wrote:
Dedman wrote:You must have. I will have my people send you another copy.
While you're at it, send another copy of the one about the cover sheets on the TRP reports -- just in case.

Didn't you get the memo? It's "TPS Reports".

De Rigueur · Post by **De Rigueur** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 4:27 pm

Better send me another copy, then.

Sage · Post by **Sage** » Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:32 pm

dude check this out, I made a Descent mod for that joke!

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting
charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently
become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a
part time "working girl". All things considered, my problem is this. I love
my fiancÃ©' and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly
want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my
cousin who posts on the DBB?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

Avder · Post by **Avder** » Fri Jun 04, 2004 9:50 pm

Change that to the "Quake Message Boards" and youve got it.

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Fri Jun 04, 2004 10:46 pm

Or just about any counterstrike forum.