A scientific look at Hell

Battlebot · Post by **Battlebot** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 8:22 pm

i got this in a forward and thought it was hilarious...

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. This answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year-"...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you."- and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in doing so, then #2 cannot be true; and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" GIVEN

Wolf on Air · Post by **Wolf on Air** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 8:46 pm

http://members.ams.chello.nl/jvane/welcome.htm

7) We have already received the e-mail you are about to forward to us. Shut up.

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 8:53 pm

hahahahahaha Wolf! Excellent work!

Stupid · Post by **Stupid** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:02 pm

Hey guys... maybe SOME of us A) don't have any friends, or B) don't get spam bull★■◆● in their email addresses. THEREFORE there *MUST* be some people that haven't seen it before. I being one of them. Good job, Battlebot, and thanks for the laugh.

Avder · Post by **Avder** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:27 pm

Seen it.

However it is still funny.

Zetal · Post by **Zetal** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:28 pm

Heheheh. Nice.

Skyalmian · Post by **Skyalmian** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:31 pm

I read that at bash.org.

Wolf on Air · Post by **Wolf on Air** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 10:46 pm

I being one of them. Good job, Battlebot, and thanks for the laugh.

Yes, but you're stupid.

Wang_Lo · Post by **Wang_Lo** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 11:13 pm

shut up wolf, good laugh i enjoyed it

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 6:18 am

old. Saw that 10 years ago. Still funny though.

WarAdvocat · Post by **WarAdvocat** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 6:25 am

Yeah, it is pretty crusty, but then again, if even one person sees it that hasn't seen it before, I guess it's worthwhile to post, and all of us cynical old board monkeys should give him a break.

Of course, when he acts like it's all new n'shiz, I guess you gotta bust his chops.

snoopy · Post by **snoopy** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 6:27 am

Hadn't seen it before. Funny.

JMEaT · Post by **JMEaT** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 8:06 am

Bwhaha!

{Hawk}Liquid · Post by **{Hawk}Liquid** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 11:28 am

i found it entertaining

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 12:53 pm

Oh just STFU wolf.

Very funny BTW!

Wolf on Air · Post by **Wolf on Air** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 1:21 pm

What? I just called Stupid by his name!

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 1:23 pm

Sarcasm. And I got lots of it today.