I'm grounded from D3 for awhile

Bet51987 · Post by **Bet51987** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 5:26 pm

Cuties, I'm in big trouble. I was in Roadkills Subway, and he didn't believe I was a girl because I was winning. He wanted a picture of me holding the latest copy of USA Today to prove it. I told him I would do it.
I asked my dad to get a copy and he asked why, so I told him about Roadkill. That's when he went way ballistic. He called me irresonsible, and naive, and that I was being conned. Was I? Was I wrong? Is my Dad wrong? Can I be traced?

Now I can't even have my icon on anymore, and I'm off D3 because he took my disks.
I'm gonna talk to his girlfriend to see if she can help me. What else can I do....Right now I'm really sad.

and I may not be able to play monsterbal Wed now.

Bettina

Nightmare USA · Post by **Nightmare USA** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 5:40 pm

wow sorry to here that Betina. I think in general your dad is dead on. As a young person you should not give out personal info especially regarding your location. I doubt that it is a problem on the Dbb where many people know stuff about everyone else.

Once you punishment is over impress your dad with what you have learned about net safety and perhaps he will let you play D3 and use your pic avatar again. Just remember he is only looking out for you and he knows what can happen to young folks online.

As ussuall it is just another activity that has been spoiled by a few bad eggs out there. You can't really tell who the predators are either. It is just sad stuff really. good luck!

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 6:07 pm

I can only echo what Nighmare said. I'm a Dad with a daughter of 14. We have gone thru something simular. Her Mom, I'm afraid is clueless when it comes to web stuff and has given her a lot more "freedom" than I'm comfortable with.

Anyways. Your Dad, though may have seemed harsh to you, really IS lookin' out for you and you should give him a hug

. Stuff that has happened to kids and the net is extremely frightening to parents because many don't find out till it's too late. And yes, if someone really wanted to they could trace your connection very quickly. In a matter of seconds .. not minutes like they show on TV. Finding an exact address that way isn't quite possible, but it would allow a person teh address to your computer and they could hack in and take that info later. It's not likely, but it IS very possible.

A BIG WHOOOTT! to you for telling him the truth. It's not easy, and a lot of times it gets you yelled at, but know that it Is because he loves you.

I recommend that you learn (from him) what is "safe" and what isn't and believe what he says. (even if it seems a bit paranoid

) There are way too many creepy people out there that would like nothing better than to hurt someone for fun. :
As far as avatars go, use something that is of interest to you. ... an initial of a clan or a symbol (the Thunder Cats logo for example) or anything other than a pic of you. Take my Avatar here for instance. His name is Kantchi for the anime Fooli Cooli (or Furi Kuri) I really enjoy the show and this charatcer. um.. btw.. this show is VERY PG-13 hedging on R. Anyways. What Nightmare said ... NEVER give out personal info on the net or Phone for any reason. I have created a fictional person for garbage registrations. .. some things .... very very few require legitimate info, but for that I'm sure your Dad will be making those enteries. In the mean time, hang in there and listen. Don;t waste your time arguing with dorks in game. ... it's really not worth it. ..and oh by the way .. I get owned by gals more often than guys. Tho gals don't play vid games as much, they tend to be better at them.

Hope this helps.

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 6:37 pm

Unfortunetly, women on the internet are stalked beyond reason and this is why your dad got upset.

Ditto what duper and Nightmare said.

Suncho · Post by **Suncho** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 6:45 pm

The scary part is that posting your picture isn't the dangerous part... Nobody can use your picture to hurt you in any way. If you don't give people any information other than your picture, the only thing they can use to hurt you is your ip address which is available to everyone just by virtue of you being connected to the Internet.

Don't give out your phone number, your street address, or any information that can lead the person to you. A picture of you won't do this and is completely harmless unless you get freaked out at the notion of complete strangers looking at pictures of you.

I doubt that the Descent 3 player in question had malicious intentions or that you were being scammed.

As a general rule I trust everyone and living by that rule has never gotten me into trouble.

Bad stuff can and does happen to good people incluing young people and females. But it doesn't happen as often as the media would lead you to believe.

EDIT: Ok one time I got in trouble. This lady told me she needed to borrow $900 and would pay me back, so I gave it to her and she didn't pay me back. But I still believe she genuinely needed it. She also fell in love with me and was crying because she couldn't pay me back. That was sad...

Actually something similar happened with a guy at a bus station... but he didn't fall in love with me and he wasn't crying. He just took off... and it was only $20.

I still like to trust everyone though. Most people are good people.

It's hard to say no to people who ask you for stuff like money because asking someone for something is really embarassing and you know that they wouldn't do it unless they really needed it.

Usually when people scam you out of something it's not because they're bad people. They're just trying to survive... I guess.

Anyway... giving someone a picture of yourself isn't close to being the same as giving them money.

Also, I've never been scammed by people online... only by people I meet in person... unless you count spam but who actually falls for that?

TheCops · Post by **TheCops** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 7:08 pm

if you are a little kid on the internet keep your comments at the "lol" "rofl" "ahahahha" ";-0" kind of level.

and don't trust everyone... that's terrible advice suncho.

Sergeant Thorne · Post by **Sergeant Thorne** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 7:11 pm

Suncho wrote:Bad stuff can and does happen to good people incluing young people and females. But it doesn't happen as often as the media would lead you to believe.

Bad stuff happens even less often to people who don't trust everyone.

Some sick individual (they love the internet[spoiler], and buying new guns

[/spoiler]) could be motivated to pursue further information about someone they have a picture of.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 7:15 pm

TheCops wrote:if you are a little kid on the internet keep your comments at the "lol" "rofl" "ahahahha" ";-0" kind of level.

and don't trust everyone... that's terrible advice suncho.

He's not a Dad. For an adult who is on thier own .. sure .. still risky tho.

Suncho · Post by **Suncho** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 7:54 pm

Duper wrote:He's not a Dad. For an adult who is on thier own .. sure .. still risky tho.

That's true. I'm not a dad. But I was an 11-17 year old internet user. I wasn't a female though...

DCrazy · Post by **DCrazy** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 8:02 pm

Heh, I'm just as irresponsible when it comes to identifying myself on the Internet. Luckily I don't think that anyone would have any reason to trace me.

At least, unlike Jay Hoeberechts (sp?), my full name isn't my DBB nick.

Sorry to hear that Bet. [spoiler]Ask someone for copies! You still legally own the game

[/spoiler]

Gooberman · Post by **Gooberman** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:30 pm

Would I think it was unfair if I was you? Hell yes.

Would I do the same if I was your dad? Hell Yes.

The freaks arn't out there, they are right here

/me gives love to the DBB.

<3

snoopy · Post by **snoopy** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:58 pm

Yeah, and remember that anyone on the internet can access the DBB- just cause the regular attenders are trustworthy (some of us...) doesn't mean the non-trustworthy people can't get at the info.

Sapphire Wolf · Post by **Sapphire Wolf** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:13 pm

SkyNet · Post by **SkyNet** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:19 pm

Bettina,

That's unfortunate that you might not be able to play on Wed. I really do want as many people to attend as possible save for the modem uers.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for your arrival, but even if you're not able to make it, you can still join the teamspeak server, and chat with everyone.

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:40 pm

And you can rest knowing that if some stalker did get after you, the rest of us who are not-totally-trustworthy-either-but-not-stalkers would beat, tar and feather the stalker.

kurupt · Post by **kurupt** » Mon Jul 26, 2004 10:42 pm

wasn't me, you're not legal

seriously though, i have a younger sister and i'm the same way with her and the net. she can use it all she wants, at my house when i'm there.

Ferno · Post by **Ferno** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 12:17 am

Irresponsible? doubt it. nothing to be responsible for that I can see.

Naiive.. not really. not with this community.

conned.. out of what?

Trusting everyone usually means you may as well have the word 'sucker' tattoed on your forehead.

[DWL]Punk · Post by **[DWL]Punk** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 12:32 am

you're dad is a sociopath.
dont listen to him.

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 9:11 am

Roadkill is from Germany

I think your dad went a little overboard, but he doesn't know the context, so it's understandable. Especially at your age (You're 15, right?) Explain the events and let him know you understand what you should and should not do on the internet. A picture similar to your avatar is nothing to be worried about.

Good luck getting your D3 back before Wednesday.

{OSS}Paedric · Post by **{OSS}Paedric** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 10:42 am

Hey Betty,

Sorry to hear that you won't be tring to kill me in Subway for a while. I hope that your grounding is short.

I will have to agree with Nightmare USA and Duper on this one. I am also a father (a boy but still applicable). While I am sure that Roadkill ment no harm, and your father may have over reacted a *smidge*, he has your best interests at heart. He really is watching out for you. There are preditors on the net. You can be traced if a person knows what they are doing. Learn well the lessons your father is trying to teach you. I can honestly say that he has much more experience with this than you might give him credit for.

Take care little sister, and hopefully, we'll see you in the mines soon.

Stryker · Post by **Stryker** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 10:48 am

Yes, your dad does have your best interests in mind. It's a parent's job to protect their kids, and your dad is doing that in the best way he knows how.

Bet51987 · Post by **Bet51987** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 12:10 pm

Hey...
Thank's you guys for being sympathetic. You really are a bunch of good guys. My dad's "friend" is going to help me work on him, but she doesn't want to get between a father/daughter situation just yet. She said....that he said...I broke a trust that we had. It falls into the monthly lecture I get about abductions, etc etc.
I see what you mean about "dads". I was dumb. I luv him a lot, and he does too, because he tells me so all the time. I'm just gonna have to wait and see what she can do for me. He was really upset this time.
Bettina

Topher · Post by **Topher** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 12:37 pm

Ok, ok. Next rule of thumb. Don't post your age.

I'll leave it to you to edit, but in general if you're not out of highschool, I would just put it as good practice. Not as important as not posting location/phone number but still, just another deterrent.

I'm going disagree with what your Dad said though. "...broke a trust that we had" is only valid if it's something he said you shouldn't do before hand. Otherwise it is his own naivity in not talking to you about it. Adults will do this; they will get angry at something they forgot to tell you about and then blame it on common sense that they think you should have had, but never gave to you.

Monthly lectures. Ode to joy. I hated the lectures just as much. One day you'll go to college and life will get much better.

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 1:43 pm

Oh, you're almost 17? Then your pops should be taking a few steps back, as you are coming into your own now. Apparently he still thinks you're 13

(All dads do until you are..say, 37..)

{OSS}Paedric · Post by **{OSS}Paedric** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 1:56 pm

Not giving out your age is a good rule of thumb. It isn't necessery to the successful fragging of your opponent.

Give your father a few days to calm down and I'm sure that he will relent. Just impress upon him that you have learned a lesson here and that you will not repeat it.

As for whether or not a trust was broken, that is not for anyone on this board to say as this is between Betty and her father. We have no way of knowing what has or hasn't been discussed.

Regarding lectures...

My boy hated them too. So much so that he joined the Army. That'll teach me alright.

Bet51987 · Post by **Bet51987** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 2:18 pm

Topher wrote:broke a trust that we had" is only valid if it's something he said you shouldn't do before hand.

Your not gonna like me for this, but he did tell me.....a few times. I just got mad about the boy vs girl thing and wanted to prove that I was just as good as a boy. I thought since it wasn't a chat room thing, it would be ok.

He knows I go here, and he didn't say I couldn't when he took my disks, so I don't know if I'm pushing it by being here. Anyway,I'm gonna ask him to read some of the posts you guys wrote to show him what kind of guys I play with.

I don't know....Im confused now, so maybe I'll wait till Joyce (his friend) trys to help me out.
Thanks cuties....and I did learn a lesson.
Bettina

CDN_Merlin · Post by **CDN_Merlin** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 2:20 pm

My boy hated them too. So much so that he joined the Army. That'll teach me alright.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Do_Checkor · Post by **Do_Checkor** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 2:34 pm

That isn't ONLY a parents "Problem" I think...

I mean: I know what I am talking about: When my (ex-)girl was sending pictures over the net to people she didn't really people in the chat I wasn't very responsive! But to be serious: There can happen MUCH more in school or on the road to a nice and cute girl like you than over the internet. Tell your dad that almost everbody here has a wife or is old enough to be HIS dad. We are all nice guys (except Bill

:p)...

PS: Roadkill is NOT Roadrunner!

{OSS}Paedric · Post by **{OSS}Paedric** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 2:46 pm

CDN_Merlin wrote:
... that'll teach me
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Yup, that about sums it up.

Betty, you are a good pilot. Any kills that I get from you are usually hard won. Just remember, it isn't a boy/girl thing. It's a hand/eye coordination thing. And given that I seem to remember that you're a keyboard jock, that's no mean feat.

Sergeant Thorne · Post by **Sergeant Thorne** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 4:41 pm

[DWL]Punk wrote:you are dad is a sociopath.
dont listen to him.

What a stupid thing to say to a young person concerning their parent whom they live with! Try not to be such a moron, Punk.

Instig8 · Post by **Instig8** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 6:04 pm

As seen from the above posts, most people are well-intentioned and look out for everybody's interests. Surely there are some who just don't care. And there are a few (very few) who are out to get you. Sadly, those very few individuals are the worst, most prevalent individuals around.

All I have to say is: Be careful. Don't give out personal information and locations, etcetera.

I think, bigger than a personal threat, identity theft is the most prevalent threat on the internet, now-a-days.

But, even with all this negativity, the internet has much more positive value and information (and entertainment) than ever.

Just be careful... and try to have fun!

Personally, I think your dad aught to give back the disks (what? u donâ??t have the no-disk hack?

) and allow you to play Descent as long as you have learned your lesson.

Capm · Post by **Capm** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 6:12 pm

In most online environments, I would say your Dad probably had good reason to be concerned, although I will say I think he did go a bit overboard on taking the discs.

The Descent community, such as it is, is a relatively safe internet community, by comparison. While you can only know a person so well via the internet, those many of us who have been in the community for nearly a decade have gotten to know each other quite well.

But you still can't take anything for granted.
While the majority of the people in the D community are harmless, there are no absolutes, anyone can pick up the game and join up.

We've had 2.. or 3 marriages as a result of people meeting in this community, but we also have people who really hate each other. Its a mixed lot.

Women in any internet community are more likely to be picked as targets for bad people. So you might take a few hints from other women in the D community, and how they have secured their identities.

DarkWolf for example, when someone asked for pictures of her, would send them pictures of wolves

Tankie2 in Kali also posted cartoon pictures and ascii art. Whether someone believes you are female or not is their problem, not yours. You don't have to prove anything.

Along with the basic rules of never give out your Real Name, address, etc etc, you should remain relatively safe.

I do believe your father had a point on internet safety to make, and while I don't see how being conned applies here, certainly naive and maybe a bit of irresponsibility were at least partially true. Replacement of your icon is certainly in order, at least until you turn 18, at which point it becomes your choice, but we have many talented artists in the community who I'm sure would be more than happy to make you a new one. Taking the D3 disks was probably over the top, but it helped drive home his point, which is a good thing, altho I think by now you should be getting them back.

When your dad cools off, it might be helpful to show him this thread. The reactions of most people here, may help to sooth his fears a bit. But make sure you understand his point, and his reasons.

hybrid of shadowfox&b · Tue Jul 27, 2004 6:22 pm

{OSS}Paedric wrote:
CDN_Merlin wrote:
... that'll teach me
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Yup, that about sums it up.

Betty, you are a good pilot. Any kills that I get from you are usually hard won. Just remember, it isn't a boy/girl thing. It's a hand/eye coordination thing. And given that I seem to remember that you're a keyboard jock, that's no mean feat.

ummm she plays with mouse!

Suncho · Post by **Suncho** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 6:59 pm

{OSS}Paedric wrote:Regarding lectures...

My boy hated them too. So much so that he joined the Army. That'll teach me alright. :P

A lot of people join the military to get away from their parents. ;)

A couple days after I turned 17, I flew to my first LAN by myself. I wasn't doing so well in school so my parents took away my D3 discs shortly after that. Luckily I had my nocd crack so I kept playing. But then they took away my network cable. In response, I dropped out of school altogether. After a couple weeks of me not going to school, they gave me my Internet back, but I didn't go back to school until the next year. =)

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 7:21 pm

Hey, new mouser!

<- mouse fanboy

hybrid of shadowfox&b · Tue Jul 27, 2004 8:12 pm

Testiculese wrote:Hey, new mouser!

<- mouse fanboy

happy for ya man! join teh club

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 8:22 pm

No I meant her, I've been in the club 10 years now

Sergeant Thorne · Post by **Sergeant Thorne** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 8:32 pm

Sergeant Thorne ceremoniously swings a mouse around by the cord and slams it onto the desk: "this meeting of the stick pilots of Descent will now come to order!"

hybrid of shadowfox&b · Tue Jul 27, 2004 8:42 pm

bah sergeant u better back dat gavel UP YE JUDGE!!!

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 9:55 pm