Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ..I Shall Fear No Evil. For I
am
at 80,000 Feet and Climbing!
(Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan).
-------------------------------------------------------------------
You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.
(Paul F. Crickmore -test pilot)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
submarines
in the sky.
(From an old carrier sailor)
------------------------------------------------------------
If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe
-------------------------------------------------------------
When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power
left to get you to the scene of the crash.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying
club.
-----------------------------------------------------------
What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up,...the pilot dies.
--------------------------------------------------------
Never trade luck for skill.
--------------------------------------------------
The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation
are:
"Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh ★■◆●!"
------------------------------------------------------------
Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
-------------------------------------------------------
Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.
-------------------------------------------------------
Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a
row
is prevarication.
-------------------------------------------------------
I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
----------------------------------------------------------
Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!
------------------------------------------------------------
Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries
--------------------------------------------------------
Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person
on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
Just
remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on
a
sunny day.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII:
When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest,
cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible.
-------------------------------------------------------
The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;
...it can just barely kill you.
(Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)
---------------------------------------------------------
A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its
maximum.
(Jon McBride, astronaut)
----------------------------------------------------------
If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the
crash
as possible.
(Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
----------------------------------------------------------
If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the
bastard
down.
(Ernest K. Gann, author &aviator)
---------------------------------------------------------
Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.
(Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).
------------------------------------------------------------
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a
good
bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few
opportunities
in life where you get to experience all three at the same time.
(Author unknown, but surely someone who's been there)
--------------------------------------------------------------
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Basic Flying Rules:
Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it.
The
edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
buildings,
sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly
there.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
power to
taxi to the terminal
Aeronautical Humor
-
Flatlander
- DBB Fleet Admiral
- Posts: 2419
- Joined: Thu Apr 15, 1999 2:01 am
- Location: Pennsylvania
- Contact:
Here's some more:
The four most useless things in aviation:
Altitude above you
Runway behind you
Fuel left in the fuel truck
Ideas you already thought of.
Simple rules to live by: Don't do anything that will get you killed, violated, or fired.
What's the difference between a Flight attendant and a jet engine?
The engine stops whining when you get to the gate...
How do you keep a secret from the passengers?
Make an announcement over the PA.
What's the difference between God and a pilot?
God doesn't think he's a pilot....
The four most useless things in aviation:
Altitude above you
Runway behind you
Fuel left in the fuel truck
Ideas you already thought of.
Simple rules to live by: Don't do anything that will get you killed, violated, or fired.
What's the difference between a Flight attendant and a jet engine?
The engine stops whining when you get to the gate...
How do you keep a secret from the passengers?
Make an announcement over the PA.
What's the difference between God and a pilot?
God doesn't think he's a pilot....
The three best things in life are:
1) a good landing
2) a good orgasm
3) a good bowel movement.
The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life
where you get to experience all three at the same time.
(Author unknown, but surely someone who's been there)
LOFMFFAO!
er.. i mean .. PiKAAAaaaaaaa !
(thanks Sage for keeping me in line. .. I've been slipping!)
