al-gebra terror

Fusion pimp · Post by **Fusion pimp** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 5:58 pm

At Phoenix Sky Harbor airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

Fusion pimp · Post by **Fusion pimp** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 5:59 pm

Gong!!!!

Ferno · Post by **Ferno** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 6:14 pm

hahahaha.. comedy gold!

Grendel · Post by **Grendel** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 6:25 pm

Funny. If you think about it, I wouldn't be surprised if it where true tho..

Drakona · Post by **Drakona** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 9:30 pm

A bit of linguistic truth behind that joke. "Algebra" sounds Arabic because it is Arabic. It was the title of the big Arabic textbook on the subject. Europe didn't take the mathematical lead until the 14th or 15th century. Algebra is one of the things developed before then, which we inherited from the Arabs. Our numeral system is another.

Calculus on up, on the other hand--that's western work. At least, until the 19th century or so. Then mathematicians started to popping up everywhere.

Moral of the story is, if you don't like your algebra class... BLAME THE TERRORISTS. If it's calculus on the other hand, BLAME EUROPE. Beyond that, I can't help you.

Vertigo 99 · Post by **Vertigo 99** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 9:36 pm

Wow, thanks Drakona, for that awesome learning experience! I'm smart now!

DCrazy · Post by **DCrazy** » Mon Oct 11, 2004 10:07 pm

"Hmm... what happens if we decide to take this big curve and chop it into many little curves..."

"Why, we get tiny little straight lines!"

"Straight lines from a curve? BRILLIANT!"

Drakona · Post by **Drakona** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 2:30 am

Top Gun · Post by **Top Gun** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 10:47 am

Nice one DC

Stryker · Post by **Stryker** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 11:18 am

The Arabians invented algebra??? That's the last straw... Pull out the machine guns guys, AFTER THOSE CRAZY ARABS!

Avder · Post by **Avder** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 7:42 pm

Oh that just tears it

Saddle up.

*grabs and cocks shotgun*

Lock n' load.