The biggest trainwreck ever.

Ferno · Post by **Ferno** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 2:05 am

let's see how this goes. this isn't your twisted story type of thread but rather a topic to start and replies from out of left field. and it continues from there. so just wreck house.

So I'm driving down this ferry bypass, and it's a one way west. this lady decides that it's a good idea to go east (essentially the wrong way). I see her, stop dead, and blow my horn at her. so she gets the brilliant idea to try and get past me on my right side. So I wasn't gonna play that game and used the truck as a roadblock. I roll down the window and start to point the way to go. she backs up, turns around, and slowly head along the right way out. she should never have received a driver's liscence.

Avder · Post by **Avder** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 3:49 am

*head explodes*

JMEaT · Post by **JMEaT** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 8:34 am

That's funny. It reminds me of the time I put toothpaste on my teachers door handle to his room. Boy was HE mad!

...... . . ........ ..yeah

Will Robinson · Post by **Will Robinson** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 8:52 am

Essentially that is the whole problem with trying to sight your rifle in on a moving target. You get set up under the overturned wrecked car at the waters edge where no one, not even the homeless junkies can see you. You find your target right where they said he'd be, in a truck moving along nice and smooth with no lane to change into, no two way traffic to cross your sights. A perfect choke point to catch a target trapped like a turkey in a ditch.

You squeeze the trigger and all of a sudden the skinny little punk hits the brakes and the shot goes right across his windshield, right where his head should have been if he'd kept on moving. Apparantly some moron has decided to take a wrong turn and spoiled my morning because now instead of splattered brains on the inside of a his truck window and a big paycheck for me I'm scrambling to take down my rifle and sneak away unseen while the local fishermen search for the source of the gun shot they heard and I have no idea if I'll ever cash in on this deal!

God I should have stayed in veterinary school, this whole be a hit man and travel the world shiz is really getting to be a pain in tha ass!

roid · Post by **roid** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 9:10 am

"grandpa go fishing with me! grandpa go fishing with me!" urg.

Relaxing, floating along the roadside lake. the only reason i'm here and not down at my normal fishing spot is because i was scared little jimmy was gonna spring outof the car door and roll into oncomming traffic. I think my son's house must have lead paint, i swear i have never heard of this new-fangled "ADHD" hoohaw back when i was young, we just threw rocks at eachother's heads and it was NORMAL, godamn quacks.

!@#!# I wake up with a start and almost fall outof the tin boat, someone must've blew a tire on the ferry bypass. Glancing over to the bypass i see the skinny driver of a stopped truck signalling crossly to a slowly moving car.
Pff, why can't people relax, blowouts happen all the time. No need to get so animated, people will understand and just go around you.
he's probabaly lacking in iron.
chest pounding, i doubt i'll ever be able to get back to my snooze this side of daylight, that bang - feck.
to add insult to injury on my poor nerves, the boat spontaneously glorks left and right as jimmy is intently looking every which way for the source of the noise.
the internal pounding rythem slows profoundly as my skittish mind settles, eyes float down and slow onto my grandson's forever tense shoulders.
hmm, you know, the kid has a really really big head.

"jim settle down, it's like you've never heard a tire blowout before. well i guess at your age... yeah whatever"

i look around, but there are no rocks in the boat.

Defender · Post by **Defender** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 11:52 am

Clean and wash chicken bones. Clean, wash and cut chicken into very small pieces (1/2 cm cubes). Put chicken bones in a pot and one litre of water, chopped garlic and cook till water is reduced to 600 ml. Strain and keep aside.

Stir fry chicken pieces in butter till tender and keep the stock aside.

Heat oil, add cumin seeds and refined flour, cook for a minute, stirring continuously. Then add the reduced chicken stock, chicken pieces, white pepper powder and salt.

Cook for some time and serve hot.

You may add half a cup of fresh cream just before serving to make it a little rich.

Avder · Post by **Avder** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 12:53 pm

REcipie for a cheese taco:

Shredded cheese
Taco shell of any kind, be it har dshell, soft shell, or even toilet paper if for some messed up reason you like the teaste of toilet paper.

Place on plate and put cheese in the taco, nuke until cheese is melted, remove from oven, let cool for a bit, eat.

Infamous Ingus · Post by **Infamous Ingus** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 5:10 pm

Then Watch Ingus eat them sumbitches and hop on a train rooftop and dropkick some twin midgets for looking at him funny and meditate until the train reaches its next destination....

Stryker · Post by **Stryker** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 5:41 pm

Vindicator · Post by **Vindicator** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 8:04 pm

ib4tl?

TheCops · Post by **TheCops** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 8:13 pm

james brown - "mother popcorn"

Zoop! · Post by **Zoop!** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 8:20 pm

...and that's the story of the Birds and the Bees.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 10:45 pm

And what about Birds and bees? and arn't we glad they don't mate. OMg.. The world would look like something outta Half life ...or hafl life 2 .. I'm not sure. But I AM sure my nos itches .. so i must scratch. whew.. all better .. oh.. better go wash the crud out from under my nails ....brb.....

Battlebot · Post by **Battlebot** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 12:19 am

might wanna get a nose hair trimmer while you're at it too