I sang for free.....no xbox.

[Bet51987]

Well, it was Christmas celebration at our church all week and I got hooked into singing again. I tried to say no but there I was standing at the right side of the altar with a mike pinned to my blouse. With the church full of people, organ music playing, and my dad in the front row, I sang "Oh holy night", and a few other songs for five nights in a row.. and each time I sang that particular song, I couldn't stop my eyes from welling up and sending a tear down the side of my face right in front of everyone no matter how hard I tried not to. I really got into it because I liked that song, and dad likes to hear me sing.

I'm a very emotional girl and my eyes always give me away, so don't read too much into that tearing thing cause I cry at the movies and whenever I see a dead animal too, however, I did notice other people tearing too and I wondered what was making them so sad. Although I'm sure its the organ music and atmosphere that does it, I actually felt more different this week than I have ever felt before..like I had an undiscovered purpose or something.

After the last service, our priest told me that a group of elderly people wanted to meet me and that they came every night just to see me, and so when we met they talked about what my voice sounded like to them and then told me that I looked like some kind of angel standing on the altar. Geez, I blushed because I wasn't expecting the angel thing again, and that was about the last thing I wanted to hear from anyone especially in front of daddy. Is it that easy to refocus on your religion because of some music or some song?

As we talked, I just couldn't shake the feeling that these people were looking for something from me like I was giving them some false hope to make them feel better. I'm glad if it did, but unfortunately, singing those songs made me feel worse, like I was absorbing bad stuff like an empath or something. I just wished I was outside because Christmas inside a church is not a happy time for some people and those that are happy are really lucky. Christmas has never been a happy time for me for other reasons.

Then, on the drive home, my dad was getting all lovey, and huggy and mushy with me. It took both hands to fight him off. Once home, I got into a game of Descent to get rid of that angel vibe and after killing a few players, I started feeling a lot better. Later still, as I fell into my bed, I thought again about what those old people said to me and I began thinking about me and Jesus again but in the end, the church experience didn't change anything and my beliefs are still the same. I know I believe in Jesus, and what he was trying to do, but I just wish he was really talking to someone when he was dying on that cross, and that's when I started thinking further.

I thought maybe thats why a lot of people go to church anyway, even if they don't believe in the God of the bible because it's a place where they can wish and hope together and maybe thats what those old people were doing ...praying for someone they miss, there husbands or wives perhaps....only I don't believe those people were praying as much as I think they were wishing and hoping. Maybe again, it brings them comfort to do that in the company of others who have the same feelings or just being in a quiet place. Who knows, maybe if collectively we all wish as a whole, something may come of it. I hope so for them, and though religious people may pray, there is nothing wrong with non-believers wishing and hoping.

As for me, I can only hope and wish and thats it. That's all I am able to do. I don't know what those old people saw in me and I didn't want to know, but if they looked at me as if I could say something that would ease their sadness, I can't, I'm just a normal teen and not an angel of any kind, I have sad times too, and I'm mortal like they are....just like Jesus was.

With all that said, I'm really glad now that I helped them feel better, and maybe I'll do it again for them soon in there senior home, but right now, to the nice people on this bb, I hope your dreams, wishes, and hopes come true this coming new year, and if you pray, wish or hope for yourselves, think of our soldiers too. I don't know why those muslims hate us so much, but my dad said one thing I will never forget. He reminded me that our soldiers are fighting over there, so that I can stand on that altar and sing that kind of song over here.

Merry Christmas and happy new year and I'll visit again soon, and to Lothar and Drakona, I wish you well.

Luv u
Bettina



The song I sang.....I love this song.
----
Oh holy night!
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior`s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear`d and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night divine

Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming
Here come the wise men from Orient land
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger
In all our trials born to be our friend.

Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name.

[Sapphire Wolf]

Merry Christmas to you Bettina.
^_^

EDIT: Can you wish me also! Nah, just kidding

[DCrazy]

You're a thinking girl. Merry Christmas.

[Bold Deceiver]

As we talked, I just couldn't shake the feeling that these people were looking for something from me like I was giving them some false hope to make them feel better.

And what is true, Bettina? And what is not true. Need we ask anyone tell us these things?

If God is perfection, and your singing brought those people closer to that feeling, then there's nothing false there, at all, is there?

Thank you for sharing your very personal feelings about that experience.

My two cents: Sing.

BD

[Ford Prefect]

Nice of you to share your feelings. A lot of artists deliberately do not try to define the meaning of their works, instead they want the person experiencing it to make up their own mind what it means as each person will have a very different meaning based on their own life experiences.
When you sing you bring yourself to tears for your own reasons. If the beauty of the song and your voice have special meaning to others then accept that, you don't have to participate in their interpretation but just accept their appreciation.

Sounds like you have a beautiful voice. O Holy Night is not an easy song and requires a lot of power to carry some of the phrases. Don't lock away a talent.
Hope you have a lovely Christmahanakwanzza .. or whatever.

[Top Gun]

This song always chokes me up when sung well. I'm sure I would have been teary-eyed at your rendition, too. As for what you experienced, those of us who are religious have a saying: "God works in mysterious ways." I'm not trying to preach anything, but if I can just give you one piece of advice, take this: don't close your mind to anything, no matter what your feelings are about it. For the people in that church, you brought a piece of God to them, no matter your own beliefs, and I think that you should be proud of that.

[Foil]

My two cents: Sing.

Two more cents from me: Yes, just sing.

I had a similar experience a few years ago, when I sang with a little band (mostly just my college friends) for a small church near my home. We weren't really even very good, but I remember that after we played a few of our more upbeat contemporary songs we did one particular hymn, and some of the older church members really teared up. I don't remember which song it was, or even if it was one of the more 'stirring' hymns, but it sure evoked some emotion with people there.

I understand some of the feelings you mentioned; there are a number of songs that have strong emotional ties for me personally (and a couple that often get me teary when I hear them), but it's really different being on the other side of that connection.

Keep singing whatever comes into your heart, but don't let yourself get weighed down. You don't bear the responsibility for the effects the song has on the listeners; just sing, and let the music and lyrics be part of whatever "mysterious ways" God chooses to work in people.

[Avder]

If I could sing (which I cant ) I think "Oh Holy Night" would be about the only song I'd ever volunteer to sing.

That song is about the only piece of music on this planet that can bring me to tears.

[RedBaron]

I'm a Christian, too, and I couldn't sing to save my life (I love the music, though - I just do my part at the sound desk). At my Church's Christmas eve service, one of our pastors did an AMAZING rendition of 'Oh Holy Night' - it is a beautiful song - it just sets something off inside me.

Sing. I, personally find songs at Church extremely important. They make me really concentrate on God, and all that he has done - I find them the best way to praise Him for what He has done in my life, in the lives of others, and in this world. As I said, I am a sound tech, and I do sound for basically all the youth services at my Church. I have had almost no formal training, and I am hopeless doing sound for anything else but Church. When I'm doing sound at Church, though, it all comes to me. I feel incredibly in touch with God. It is an amazing feeling.

[Sapphire Wolf]

My brother just bought an X-Box! Now I have 3 Current Consoles: The GameCube, The Playstation 2, and The X-Box!

[Tyranny]

You're hopeless. NoHope4U!

[Bet51987]

Thanks for those nice replys and the singing advice, they meant an awful lot to me...and Dark Falcon, thanks for that humor, I needed it really bad this year.

As far as "Oh holy night", I had to rehearse it at home many times to get it right. I have a 2 1/2 octave range and have enough power but I wanted to express the feeling of that song like it was meant to be. Its just the emotional part I had problems with. Although I like to sing, it's not on my career horizon. I do it for dad, school plays, church, and now for those seniors that I have a new respect for, but thats as far as I'm going with it. My two choices are teaching or nursing and being an RN is my first choice so far. The reason for this Christmas post was to clarify unfinished business from an earlier post involving the xbox and being spoiled. That kind of bothered me so I had to set it straight with myself.

I'm over at Planet Descent now and the science forum too, because those places don't use inuendos in every sentence as a substitute for the bad language thats not allowed here but means the same thing. I lived with it until it got directed at me personally. Don't worry... Its not the bb....its me cause I have a code I live by. Anyway, those places are better for kids my age.

I'm not going to give up on this bb, and I won't respond to any flames, I like a lot of you too much and some posts are really worth reading and some make me laugh. I'm just going to lurk more and post less.

Happy New Year cuties.

Bettina

[TheCops]

hey happy new year!

and if you are indeed a young woman and not some joker playing the frothing hormones of male dbb'ers (heh)... you'll be using this phrase in some variation or another quite a bit in your lifetime. get good at it!

Don't worry... Its not the bb....its me cause I have a code I live by.