A pretty young blonde was attempting to do a jigsaw puzzle and
she was becoming very frustrated because she wasn't making any
progress on it.
She called her boyfriend Tim, and started to cry as she told him
about the puzzle.
"The pieces are all the same color brown and none of them fit
together", she said. Her boyfriend asked her to describe the box
the puzzle came in.
She told him it was a yellow box with a rooster on it.
Her boyfriend told her to stop her crying and put the corn
flakes back into the box.
New Blonde Joke thread ...anyone?
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Nitrofox125
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- Contact:
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Liquid Fire
- DBB Ace
- Posts: 403
- Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2003 2:01 am
- Location: Los Gatos, CA, USA
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A blonde walks into a hotel looking for a room. She sees a long line extending through the main doors leading to the lady's room. She decides to go see what's going on. She makes her way to the back of the line and asks somebody about it. The person tells her "There's a magic mirror in the bathroom. If you tell it something true about yourself, you get whatever wish you want. But, if you lie, you are sucked into the mirror and never seen again." The blonde waits in line for a very long time. She gets near to the front of the line and overhears some women. One says "I think am the most beautiful woman on the planet." SLUUUURP she's sucked into the mirror. The next says "I think I am the most intelligent woman on the planet." SLUUUUURP she's sucked into the mirror. Finally, it's the blonde's turn. She goes up to the mirror and says "I think..." SLUUUUUURP she's sucked into the mirror.
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MD-2389
- Defender of the Night
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Mobius on the sun....
A Russian, an American, and Mobius were talking one day. The
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American
said,"We were the first on the moon!" Mobius said, "So
what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and
the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You
can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.. To which Mobius replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!"
Ohh wait, wrong thread.
A Russian, an American, and Mobius were talking one day. The
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American
said,"We were the first on the moon!" Mobius said, "So
what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and
the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You
can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.. To which Mobius replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!"
Ohh wait, wrong thread.
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Nitrofox125
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- Location: Colorado Springs, CO, USA
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What did the blond say when she opened the box of Cherios?
"Oh cool! Donut seeds! "
What does a blonde say after sex?
"are you all from the same team?"
what do you have if you stand 5 blondes side by side?
A wind-tunnel.
How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
White-out on the screen.
How do u tell if a brunette has been using the computer?
There is writing on the white-out.
"Oh cool! Donut seeds! "
What does a blonde say after sex?
"are you all from the same team?"
what do you have if you stand 5 blondes side by side?
A wind-tunnel.
How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
White-out on the screen.
How do u tell if a brunette has been using the computer?
There is writing on the white-out.
There was a blonde, who was tired of blonde jokes and being made fun of. So she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car and started driving in the country. All of a sudden, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them. Asking him .... If I can guess the exact number of sheep here will you let me have one? The shepherd thinking this was a pretty safe bet agreed .... 235 said the blonde .... . surprised the shepherd told her to pick one out. She looked around for a while and found one that she really liked .... she picked it up and was petting it. The shepherd walked over to her and said .... If I can guess your real hair color will you give me my sheep back .... the blonde thought it was only fair to let him try .... your a blonde .... now give me back my dog
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Vertigo 99
- DBB Fleet Admiral
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- Joined: Tue May 25, 1999 2:01 am
- Location: Massachusetts
- Contact:
A blonde is walking around, having a nice time strolling. Eventually, she comes to some railroad tracks. On the railroad tracks is a brunette - jumping up and town. With each jump, the brunette chants "21... 21... 21..."
"Wow!" says the blonde, "that looks like fun!"
The blonde jumps on the track: "21... 21... 21... 21..."
A couple seconds later, the blonde and the brunette see that a train is coming. The brunette jumps off the tracks, while the confused blonde keeps jumping - "Twenty-one... Twenty-one... Twenty-" WACK, the blonde gets plastered by the train.
After the train goes by, the brunette jumps back on the track, and resumes her chant, "22... 22... 22..."
"Wow!" says the blonde, "that looks like fun!"
The blonde jumps on the track: "21... 21... 21... 21..."
A couple seconds later, the blonde and the brunette see that a train is coming. The brunette jumps off the tracks, while the confused blonde keeps jumping - "Twenty-one... Twenty-one... Twenty-" WACK, the blonde gets plastered by the train.
After the train goes by, the brunette jumps back on the track, and resumes her chant, "22... 22... 22..."
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suicide eddie
- DBB Ace
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- Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2002 2:01 am
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to do when she approaches a large house. She goes up to the house, rings the bell and the owner comes to the door.
He asks the lady what he can do for her. The blonde tells him of her situation, that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has been wanting his porch painted. He asks the blonde if she paints?
The blonde says, "Sure anything."
"Well, I've been wanting my porch painted, how much would you charge?" the man replies.
"I don't know, say $50 bucks."
"Sounds good. Go ahead and get started." He closes the door and walks back inside.
His wife asks him, "Who was at the door?" He tells her of the blonde and her situation and then told his wife that the blonde agreed to paint the porch for $50 bucks.
The astonished wife says, "$50 bucks, but that porch goes the full length of our house and then some. It will be at least a few hours job. You really should pay her more."
"But that's all she said she wanted, and anyway she's a dumb blonde!"
10 minutes later, they get a knock on the door. The man answers the door and the blone stands there and says, "All done."
With a surprised look on his face, "I can't believe it, you're already done painting the entire porch."
"Yes, and by the way it's not a porch it's a Ferrari."
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to do when she approaches a large house. She goes up to the house, rings the bell and the owner comes to the door.
He asks the lady what he can do for her. The blonde tells him of her situation, that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has been wanting his porch painted. He asks the blonde if she paints?
The blonde says, "Sure anything."
"Well, I've been wanting my porch painted, how much would you charge?" the man replies.
"I don't know, say $50 bucks."
"Sounds good. Go ahead and get started." He closes the door and walks back inside.
His wife asks him, "Who was at the door?" He tells her of the blonde and her situation and then told his wife that the blonde agreed to paint the porch for $50 bucks.
The astonished wife says, "$50 bucks, but that porch goes the full length of our house and then some. It will be at least a few hours job. You really should pay her more."
"But that's all she said she wanted, and anyway she's a dumb blonde!"
10 minutes later, they get a knock on the door. The man answers the door and the blone stands there and says, "All done."
With a surprised look on his face, "I can't believe it, you're already done painting the entire porch."
"Yes, and by the way it's not a porch it's a Ferrari."