A Polish divorce
A Polish divorce
POLISH DIVORCE
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although
his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day
he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him - "very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on
the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof.
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although
his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day
he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him - "very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on
the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof.
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."
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A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly cheque.
He marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi. You know, I
just HATE coming in here drawing welfare month after month. I'd really
much rather have a job".
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur-bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because
of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort
her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment
above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy says, "You're bull★■◆●ing me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."
He marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi. You know, I
just HATE coming in here drawing welfare month after month. I'd really
much rather have a job".
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur-bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because
of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort
her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment
above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy says, "You're bull★■◆●ing me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."