DescentBB

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:50 pm**

Spaceboy... what Testi and Cuda said goes for me so I can't add more. I was just pointing out that even though you seem very sensible, you were heading in the wrong direction and shouldn't go any deeper.

I am very lucky having a dad who watches me even when I give him nothing to worry about and it makes me feel good. Hope it does the same for you.

Also, you keep changing your posts after someone else replys without using an EDIT statement so it looks different when I go back and look.

Bee

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:18 pm**

Your reply had no content, and neither did Jake's so I disregarded them.
Testi, you've repeated what CUDA had already said almost to the word... you're stating how you believe children should be raised, and dismiss all else by only saying 'children are inexperienced'. Using the word 'all' in almost any scenerio is silly. [bold]Some[/bold] fit that category, but it seems as if most parents use the minority as an excuse to justify actions to a majority. Don't feed me how you believe children should be treated, give me reasons beyond \"It's just that way\".

However, I forget that I'm talking to a forum full of adults who're likely to disregard any commentary that objects some of their own, mainly because this is touching on beliefs that they've held onto most of their lives.

Instead of disregarding me because of my inexperience, why not give me some? That's why I ask for more in-depth reasons, further than the repeated \"it's just that way\".

Posted: **Thu Feb 14, 2008 11:26 pm**

However, I forget that I'm talking to a forum full of adults who're likely to disregard any commentary that objects some of their own, mainly because this is touching on beliefs that they've held onto most of their lives.

No we haven't held these beliefs all our lives. We learned the truth through experience. Most of us held foolish unsupportable opinions in our youth that we believed were the absolute truth, then reality came crashing in and we changed our mind. Explaining how we changed and why is like describing colour to a blind man. It just doesn't translate well to those that haven't been there.
I know that \"do what I say\" doesn't work nor does \"Trust me I know what's best for you\" so complain away. It is what we expect from people your age.

On the original topic:
Between grade 5 and grade 11 my youngest had a lot of problems with school and teachers. He didn't see the point of tolerating stupidity in teachers just because they were authority figures and, although I felt the same way, we had to work with him as parents to try to help him understand that much of what the workday world might hold for him could seem to be stupid and irrelevant but that doesn't mean you can skip doing it. E-mail helped, phone calls were seldom used but sometimes needed when the teacher was \"too busy\" to deal with e-mails (or too stupid to know how to organize their own time more likely) the least useful were the \"meet the creature\" sessions as I call them. They just re-enforced my opinion that he was right and they were just morons trying to keep kids occupied with colouring and busy work.
The system Flabby describes is much like what is available in our school district and it is only as good as the teachers that are supposed to keep it up to date. In the majority of cases that meant it was as useless as the overpaid babysitters that operated it.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:05 am**

Ford Prefect wrote: No we haven't held these beliefs all our lives. We learned the truth through experience. Most of us held foolish unsupportable opinions in our youth that we believed were the absolute truth, then reality came crashing in and we changed our mind. Explaining how we changed and why is like describing colour to a blind man. It just doesn't translate well to those that haven't been there.
I know that "do what I say" doesn't work nor does "Trust me I know what's best for you" so complain away. It is what we expect from people your age.

Again, only dismissing my age, unwilling to debate. None of you have even responded to my points, all I've gotten is "you're too young".

However, even though I am young, I live in a different segment of the world, I know different people and have had different experiences, and I know I have at least some knowledge that you do not.

I give up, it's a lost cause - no one can get over their age.

EDIT:
You know, this whole topic was on maintaining the respect and trust between parents and their children, yet here I am, instantly dismissed by almost every response using "You're too young to understand," and have had all of my points blatantly ignored. This whole topic is one huge contradiction.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:41 am**

lol.. it's not that you're points are being ignored.. it's that we've all been through them ourselves. .. we didn't appear at this age. (whatever age \"this\" is) and we know now that we were quite wrong. .. don't worry, they hand out brains at your 22nd birthday.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 5:33 am**

Yeah, but I'm curious to know who told him they already gave him one, Duper. That's a pretty cruel thing to do, to make a kid like Spaceboy think he's something intelligent and special when it's painfully obvious he's neither.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:05 am**

Ford Prefect wrote:Most of us held foolish unsupportable opinions in our youth that we believed were the absolute truth, then reality came crashing in and we changed our mind.

And I'm willing to bet that most people still have foolish opinions, and it's not a youth-specific thing. The fact that there's so many religions that specifically say all those other many religions are completely false supports my theory.

Ford Prefect wrote:Explaining how we changed and why is like describing colour to a blind man. It just doesn't translate well to those that haven't been there.
I know that "do what I say" doesn't work nor does "Trust me I know what's best for you" so complain away. It is what we expect from people your age.

Great, now you're not even trying to debate.
C'mon, can anyone explain how people suddenly change 'for the better' when they reach adulthood, instead of just saying "I can't explain why we're superior to you, but we just are because I said so"? I mean, isn't that the same thing racist and sexist people say for their points too?
And also, can you please cut back on adding direct insults to Spaceboy in this thread? I presume I don't need to explain to you why they're completely uncalleld for.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:24 am**

Ageism!!! Don't you love it?

Tiger, i think superior is the wrong word. I don't recall anyone saying parents are superior than their kids, if they did then they're wrong.

Kid's do not have the life experiences that adults have, they do not know how to 'conform' to society's rules because they are not yet fully ensconced within that society. They don't realise the logistics or consequences of living in the society, and it's the parents job to teach them.

Adults know more cause we've been there, done that. Now to a teenager, that sounds like the most condescending, self-righteous...ageist bull★■◆●. And threrin lies the problems of communication between the two.

Over the years i've realised i don't agree with CUDA on many things, but as a fellow parent, i'd listen to his advice all day....hey, we have to stick together no?

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:27 am**

And I'm willing to bet that most people still have foolish opinions, and it's not a youth-specific thing.

well according to medical research it is

http://www.sfn.org/index.cfm?pagename=b ... cent_brain

During adolescence, brain connections and signaling mechanisms selectively change over time to meet the needs of the environment. Overall, gray matter volume increases at earlier ages, followed by sustained loss and thinning starting around puberty, which correlates with advancing cognitive abilities. Scientists think this process reflects greater organization of the brain as it prunes redundant connections, and increases in myelin, which enhance transmission of brain messages.

Other parts of the brain also undergo refinement during the teen years. Areas associated with more basic functions, including the motor and sensory areas, mature early. Areas involved in planning and decision-making, including the prefrontal cortex -- the cognitive or reasoning area of the brain important for controlling impulses and emotions -- appear not to have yet reached adult dimension during the early twenties. The brain's reward center, the ventral striatum, also is more active during adolescence than in adulthood, and the adolescent brain still is strengthening connections between its reasoning- and emotion-related regions.

research says you do not have the abilities to reason like an adult. but take heart you will grow out of it

edit: Tiger you changed your post. but my post actually explains this better

C'mon, can anyone explain how people suddenly change 'for the better' when they reach adulthood, instead of just saying \"I can't explain why we're superior to you,

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:50 am**

Flabby Chick wrote:Tiger, i think superior is the wrong word. I don't recall anyone saying parents are superior than their kids, if they did then they're wrong.

Sorry, excuse me for thinking that someone saying that they've got more common sense, experience and knowledge than children and more will power and less likely to succum to peer pressure than some children is the same as saying that they're superior to children. How foolish of me.

CUDA wrote:
During adolescence, brain connections and signaling mechanisms selectively change over time to meet the needs of the environment. Overall, gray matter volume increases at earlier ages, followed by sustained loss and thinning starting around puberty, which correlates with advancing cognitive abilities. Scientists think this process reflects greater organization of the brain as it prunes redundant connections, and increases in myelin, which enhance transmission of brain messages.

Other parts of the brain also undergo refinement during the teen years. Areas associated with more basic functions, including the motor and sensory areas, mature early. Areas involved in planning and decision-making, including the prefrontal cortex -- the cognitive or reasoning area of the brain important for controlling impulses and emotions -- appear not to have yet reached adult dimension during the early twenties. The brain's reward center, the ventral striatum, also is more active during adolescence than in adulthood, and the adolescent brain still is strengthening connections between its reasoning- and emotion-related regions.
research says you do not have the abilities to reason like an adult.

No, no it doesn't. That research says that a pre-adolescence person shouldn't be able to debate as well as if they were post-adolescence, not that a pre-adolescence person shouldn't be able to debate as well as some other post-adolescence person. Big difference.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:56 am**

How foolish of you is right.

a pre-adolescence person shouldn't be able to debate as well as if they were post-adolescence

That still translates into \"A child cannot reason as well as an adult\".

Inane kid stuff

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 8:15 am**

I'll try to move this onto a different tack.

You 'older guys', what would you say to your younger selves? Would you like them? What advice would you give them? I'm not talking about regrets and sh1t, cause i reckon in some sence, we all have them.

How would your older self consider your younger self?

EDIT: I remember doing the same thing as a kid Testi, though we delivered the hymlic maneuver, after hyperventilating. I was my sons age when we did it...it scares me to death to think of it now.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 8:18 am**

did you even read the site????????????
apparently not.
it says DURING not pre or post adolescence
the research also says INTO their 20's you should really read a post before you comment on it

Parenthood flashbacks all over again

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 8:21 am**

To Flabby

CUDA lacked common sense,
CUDA lacked experience
CUDA lacked knowledge
CUDA lacked will power
CUDA easily succumbed to peer pressure

Fixed

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:34 am**

Flabby Chick wrote:I'll try to move this onto a different tack.

You 'older guys', what would you say to your younger selves? Would you like them? What advice would you give them? I'm not talking about regrets and sh1t, cause i reckon in some sense, we all have them.

How would your older self consider your younger self?

It's kind of hard to answer that. When I see younger kids now who have parents who take an interest in their life, I encourage them to appreciate it and take advantage of the opportunity it gives them.

I grew up in a very permissive home, with little to no oversight. To avoid getting too wordy, it was an absolute disaster, and took me a lot of hard years to work through the fallout of it.

I'm 50 yrs old now and halfway through raising 7 kids, and they're turning out pretty well so far.
I don't make any apologies for keeping pretty close tabs on what is going on in my kids lives, and trying to help them make sensible choices.

My oldest thinks I used a bit too much oversight, but the next 2 are really glad for the childhood they've had.(the oldest is a medic in the military now, after graduating college with honors at 19, the next 2 are still in college)

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:36 am**

Flabby Chick wrote:I'll try to move this onto a different tack.

You 'older guys', what would you say to your younger selves? Would you like them? What advice would you give them? I'm not talking about regrets and sh1t, cause i reckon in some sence, we all have them.

How would your older self consider your younger self?

Well, considering that I'm only 17, I can only talk about my 'youth' youth. And I know this'll really annoy some of the people here, based on that entire debate back there, but I think Young Me would be the one giving me advice more. Simply because I remember thinking about a bunch of stuff I was supposed to remember in the future, but I've forgotten a lot of it. The ones that I do remember, I've already taken great heed of; such as 'don't be obsessed with dating or mediocre girls' (I've NEVER gone on a date so far, and I've only ever had, and still have, one girlfriend), 'don't hate individual people' (I prefer to forget who did what when someone does something bad to me), 'having fun should always be more important than what people think of you' (I later expanded this into 'the opinions of idiots aren't worth much'), 'don't give up easily' (including ridiculous, near-impossible ambitions) and 'don't blow your money on junk' (which comprised of sweets, jewellery, stuff that makes you look good, etc).
As for advice I'd give Young Me, well, there's not much. I'd like to say stuff like 'don't keep going after that one girl when there's no chance of you going out with her', but that was one of the best things that I ever did, simply because it prevented me from being obsessed with girls (and really, I knew it would too at the time). The only advice that I could give would be,
1: Find and learn a good programming language. (not because it'd help in later life, just that it would've been fun)
2: For the love of god, regardless of what people say, your classmates in Secondary School (or High School, as some of you would call it) will NOT be more mature than your classmates in Primary School! (oh man, that was one of the worst bits of advice anyone ever game me! I mean, all those 'inane kids stuff', most predominantly wrestling, only started in Secondary School (and I never joined in).
3: Use the internet more often, especially for games. (IIRC, the only online games I could find at the time were from MSN's homepage).

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:47 am**

Flabby Chick wrote: You 'older guys', what would you say to your younger selves? Would you like them? What advice would you give them? I'm not talking about regrets and sh1t, cause i reckon in some sence, we all have them.

For me, nothing really, because I wouldn't have listened.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:56 am**

TIGERassault wrote:
Flabby Chick wrote:I'll try to move this onto a different tack.

Well, considering that I'm only 17, I can only talk about my 'youth' youth. And I know this'll really annoy some of the people here, based on that entire debate back there, but I think Young Me would be the one giving me advice more. Simply because I remember thinking about a bunch of stuff I was supposed to remember in the future, but I've forgotten a lot of it. The ones that I do remember, I've already taken great heed of; such as 'don't be obsessed with dating or mediocre girls' (I've NEVER gone on a date so far, and I've only ever had, and still have, one girlfriend), 'don't hate individual people' (I prefer to forget who did what when someone does something bad to me), 'having fun should always be more important than what people think of you' (I later expanded this into 'the opinions of idiots aren't worth much'), 'don't give up easily' (including ridiculous, near-impossible ambitions) and 'don't blow your money on junk' (which comprised of sweets, jewellery, stuff that makes you look good, etc).
As for advice I'd give Young Me, well, there's not much. I'd like to say stuff like 'don't keep going after that one girl when there's no chance of you going out with her', but that was one of the best things that I ever did, simply because it prevented me from being obsessed with girls (and really, I knew it would too at the time). The only advice that I could give would be,
1: Find and learn a good programming language. (not because it'd help in later life, just that it would've been fun)
2: For the love of god, regardless of what people say, your classmates in Secondary School (or High School, as some of you would call it) will NOT be more mature than your classmates in Primary School! (oh man, that was one of the worst bits of advice anyone ever game me! I mean, all those 'inane kids stuff', most predominantly wrestling, only started in Secondary School (and I never joined in).
3: Use the internet more often, especially for games. (IIRC, the only online games I could find at the time were from MSN's homepage).

That pretty well describes me too, with a few differences.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:07 pm**

Flabby Chick wrote:what would you say to your younger selves? Would you like them? What advice would you give them?

How would your older self consider your younger self?

I don't know how to answer that. I can only think of things I would change. Not to date this girl, don't go to that party, don't start smoking cigarettes, you stupid ★■◆●...

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 2:50 pm**

Okay, I'm going to try to come at this from the perspective of someone who is firmly in between the "young adult" and "parent" stages.

To the younger folk:
The "old farts" in here are not saying that young people don't have inherent intelligence, reason, or ability; they're saying that young people don't have the real-life experience to consistently make good choices. As much as intelligence counts, life experience is that much more important. You have to be mature enough to admit that you have some catching up to do in that area, and that the older guys here really do have some knowledge that you don't.

To the older folk:
You guys gotta remember when you were a young adult, beginning to assert your independence. If someone had implied (even if they didn't mean to) that you were 'just like every kid, inexperienced and prone to mistakes', do you honestly think you would have thought "They're right, I'm pretty stupid"? No, you would have bristled at the implication, just as they did! Despite their youthful brashness and misunderstanding, I'd venture to say that in their reaction to the implication they perceived, they're a bit like you were (and like I was).

Flabby Chick wrote:what would you say to your younger selves? Would you like them? What advice would you give them?

How would your older self consider your younger self?

Good question.

I think I would like my younger self, but it would be a bit frustrating to see how naive I was.

I was a pretty sheltered youth, so when I left home, it was sometimes difficult because of things like the complexity of personal relationships, or learning the truth about some of the religious and political propaganda I had grown up with. So if I had any advice to give my younger self, it would probably be something about weathering the coming personal changes, and being willing to admit that I still have some things to learn.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:43 pm**

Flabby:

Tiger, i think superior is the wrong word. I don't recall anyone saying parents are superior than their kids, if they did then they're wrong.

Kid's do not have the life experiences that adults have, they do not know how to 'conform' to society's rules because they are not yet fully ensconced within that society. They don't realise the logistics or consequences of living in the society, and it's the parents job to teach them.

That's a pretty good statement. I know it comes across as condescending when you try to explain to youth how their actions now will influence their life in the future in unexpected ways and how their strongly held beliefs now will slowly erode and change. That's why I didn't bother to try and \"explain\" or debate Tiger or any of the younger posters. I'm not well spoken enough to make it clear and I'll just come across as some out of touch old git. I have experienced that enough with three kids and I don't need a refresher.

It is not your problem that I don't debate you Tiger it is my inability to make sense of a difficult subject. Forgive me if I come across as dismissive and belittling. That was not my intention.

What would I say to myself if I could dial it back a few decades. Nothing that would make any impression on my old self that's for sure.

Posted: **Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:54 pm**

Foil wrote:
To the younger folk:
The "old farts" in here are not saying that young people don't have inherent intelligence, reason, or ability; they're saying that young people don't have the real-life experience to consistently make good choices. As much as intelligence counts, life experience is that much more important. You have to be mature enough to admit that you have some catching up to do in that area, and that the older guys here really do have some knowledge that you don't.

Spaceboy wrote:Cuda, you definitely have more knowledge than me in life, however, for some reason you assume I know nothing because of that. That in itself proves you still have a lot to learn. Some of my post is obviously biased by some grievances that have happened to a few that I know. However, even though I am young, I live in a different segment of the world, I know different people and have had different experiences, and I know I have at least some knowledge that you do not.

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2008 11:11 am**

Foil wrote:To the younger folk:
The "old farts" in here are not saying that young people don't have inherent intelligence, reason, or ability; they're saying that young people don't have the real-life experience to consistently make good choices. As much as intelligence counts, life experience is that much more important. You have to be mature enough to admit that you have some catching up to do in that area, and that the older guys here really do have some knowledge that you don't.

As I said, yes, most children are less capable than most adults, but not that all children are less capable than all adults, which is what the system is now.
Yes, it does follow a 'lowest common denominator' system, but that doesn't mean I have to like it!

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2008 11:19 am**

I would be disappointed in any young person that would accept the status quo as given and unalterable. That goes against the grain of human nature and would reduce the possibility of social, scientific and economic progress. You should not like it Tiger and you should take us old farts to task at every opportunity for any and all signs of hypocrisy and complacency. That doesn't mean we have to like it either.

A young man who isn't a socialist hasn't got a heart; an old man who is a socialist hasn't got a head.
David Lloyd George

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2008 11:30 am**

Oh, forgot something:

Ford Prefect wrote:It is not your problem that I don't debate you Tiger it is my inability to make sense of a difficult subject. Forgive me if I come across as dismissive and belittling. That was not my intention.

That's fine for you, but it's not fine for the point you were trying to put across. When you can't explain a distinct way that you did change, it sounds more like you didn't change as much as you claim you did.

Posted: **Sat Feb 16, 2008 2:00 pm**

Ford Prefect wrote:I would be disappointed in any young person that would accept the status quo as given and unalterable. That goes against the grain of human nature and would reduce the possibility of social, scientific and economic progress. You should not like it Tiger and you should take us old farts to task at every opportunity for any and all signs of hypocrisy and complacency. That doesn't mean we have to like it either.

Well said.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2008 2:46 pm**

Tiger- I graduated from high school and entered university on an Arts major. I was in theatre, studied acting and films and hoped one day to be a film editor. A couple of years of that and I figured out that I didn't have the drive to do the self-promotion that that line of work required. I did not return for my third year and instead became a refrigeration tradesman and have spent 35 years repairing and now designing HVAC systems.
I also spent 10 years using recreational drugs on a weekly basis. A total waste of a decade of my life.
Edit: And I married the girl I dated in High School. That was not a good decision to put it mildly. Probably had something to do with the drug decade.
I didn't realize you had any interest in the details of my life but I thought you were interested in the topic in general. Hope that helps.

Posted: **Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:31 pm**

WillyP wrote:
roid wrote:I hope to have kids
...we're doomed...

oh hawhaw

.

i never really thought about having kids, but for some reason all kids love me. So it got me thinking.

given the incredibly slow speed i move through life though, i'll be lucky if i'm still fertile by the time i get around to having kids.

Flabby Chick wrote:I'll try to move this onto a different tack.

You 'older guys', what would you say to your younger selves? Would you like them? What advice would you give them? I'm not talking about regrets and sh1t, cause i reckon in some sence, we all have them.

How would your older self consider your younger self?

(i'm 26)
hmm i dunno, a big part of my growing up was when i stopped trusting my parents and admitted to myself that they were idiots.
I wonder if i had to painfully realize this myself - to be the person i am today.

So although i might save myself some time by cluing the younger me in - it might not have been such a powerful life lesson if it didn't happen the way it did.

Mind you, things still arn't great. And i still have a lot of growing up to do - my perception might change.
(before someone says "oh i've heard that before" - my life has NOT been your average situation.)

Posted: **Mon Feb 18, 2008 6:07 pm**

Oh, I was just kidding, I'm sure you will become a wonderful parental unit, and all you kids will grow up to be wonderfull kids, just like that Australian kid with the glasses.

What I'd say to MeTheYounger: Just do it! Do it now! Don't worry about... No, not that, I didn't mean do that! Stop, fool! What??? Don't tell me to shut up, I'm your, uh, SELF! What? What kind of language is that to use in front of your future self?! Hey, I'm talking to you! um... what are you doing? Ouch! don't do that!!! That will hurt in a few years, cut it out!

Posted: **Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:01 pm**

WillyP wrote:
What I'd say to MeTheYounger: Just do it! Do it now! Don't worry about... No, not that, I didn't mean do that! Stop, fool! What??? Don't tell me to shut up, I'm your, uh, SELF! What? What kind of language is that to use in front of your future self?! Hey, I'm talking to you! um... what are you doing? Ouch! don't do that!!! That will hurt in a few years, cut it out!

I've just decided air is overrated.

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2008 1:42 pm**

Flabby Chick wrote:I'll try to move this onto a different tack.

You 'older guys', what would you say to your younger selves? Would you like them? What advice would you give them?

Excellent question! In order to answer, I need to explain something that affected my life dramatically.

I used to think I was just a very shy kid ... mainly because I didn't know better and that's what people told me. About eight years ago I found out it isn't shyness, it's some kind of social anxiety disorder. Since then I've learned that I don't have to be that way and I'm in the process of changing it. And doing very well thank you very much.

When I first found out, I was very angry towards my parents and older brother because I felt like it was their fault. (that's another story but the word dysfunctional should explain). Now I realize that even though they were responsible for the way I was then, I'm responsible for the way I am now.

So ... if I could give my younger self advice, the most important thing I could say is this:

Your life is really gonna suck, but you can change that by being aware of the fact that it's your life, your responsibility, and it's up to you to change it. Blaming someone else isn't going to accomplish anything.

Looking back now, I like the way I was as a kid, but my life would have been a whole lot better if I had woke up and smelled the coffee sooner.

Posted: **Tue Feb 19, 2008 9:26 pm**

But then, it's not like you can just click your fingers and be cured. It's a hard process, and a gram of prevention would indeed have been better than a kilogram of cure.

We are all somewhat products of our past. Sure we can change, but don't deny that it's hard. And if you didn't have that problem in the first place, you would have nothing to fix - you can't deny your life WOULD be easier without the hassle of fixing yourself.

But yeah, i see what you're saying as \"no use crying over spilt milk\". But still... if you ignore who spilt it you'll end up having to clean it up again and again! Remain wary

Posted: **Wed Feb 20, 2008 9:40 am**

roid wrote:But then, it's not like you can just click your fingers and be cured. It's a hard process, and a gram of prevention would indeed have been better than a kilogram of cure.

We are all somewhat products of our past. Sure we can change, but don't deny that it's hard. And if you didn't have that problem in the first place, you would have nothing to fix - you can't deny your life WOULD be easier without the hassle of fixing yourself.

But yeah, i see what you're saying as "no use crying over spilt milk". But still... if you ignore who spilt it you'll end up having to clean it up again and again! Remain wary

No ... you can't just click your fingers ... I wish it were that simple, but like "they" say, nothing worthwhile is easy. There is no instant or magical cure that can change you from the way you were to the way you would like to be. For some, the hardest part is finding a way to change and after that it takes alot of desire and effort. I feel fortunate because many people never do find a way.

As for being a "hassle" that was my life BEFORE I learned what the problem was and now, I look at fixing it is an "opportunity" to be happier.

"a gram of prevention would indeed have been better than a kilogram of cure"

Absulutely ... and when we eventually learn how to prevent things like this from happening (referring to my life) there will be no need for a cure. However, I'm glad things were the way they were because of what I have learned.

"if you ignore who spilt it you'll end up having to clean it up again and again! Remain wary"

That's true. Ignoring any problem won't make it go away. As I'm sure you know, it usually makes it worse. The best thing to do is learn how to deal with it.

DescentBB

Parent Question. (For the kids here, as well as moms n dads

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re:

Re: