DescentBB

It hit home to me yesterday with a situation with my 16 year old daughter.

Here's the backround. school just started this last Monday (9/13) so things are just getting going. my Daughter is taking 2 elective classes.
Creative writing and Drama. her creative writing teacher is new to the school this year and asked her students if she could be their friends on their face book page. (why escapes me) my daughter said yes. this is after only 1 class with her.

Now for the story. in My daughters drama class there was a new student in class this year, who my daughter says would comment on everything the teacher said, through out the entire class. my daughter said she had gotten very frustrated with him because she was interested in what the teacher had to say. and he was a major distraction. so when she came home from school she posted about it on her facebook page. she wrote \" I was so frustrated with him I wanted to drop kick him out a window\" she had even mentioned this to my wife who thought nothing of it. so she wasnt trying to hide anything.

Now for the aftermath. this new teacher that had friended my daughter saw what she wrote and turned it into the principle. who inturn called my wife (who she has known for years) and said she has to report it to the state as a threatening comment.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While I understand the rational of their thought, with Columbine and all. I don't understand the lack of common sense.
I am tempted to picket the school with a warning to other parents and students that they are being spied on by the faculty.

First off a teacher is not \"your friend\". they are your teacher. that relationship must remain seperate
second your position as a teacher is one of authority and trust. a trust which has now been violated on the first days of class. a class that my daughter now has to sit through for the rest of the year.
this teacher has now lost the respect that should be afforded her, by her position, because now every other student in class will soon find out what has transpired.

My wife is meeting with the principle today and I should find out around 11AM what they are going to do.
keep watch on the news you might hear about be ending up in the slammer over this

[end] Vent frustration rant [/end]

I thought you home schooled your children.

But ya, the first biggest mistake was the face book request, the second biggest mistake was the facebook acceptance. Your daughter gets some slack because of her age, but if you were discribing a similar situation between a boss/employee, I wouldn't feel at all bad for her.

After that has happened, if the teacher legitimately thought that a student was in danger, she should have gone to the principal. But even then, I would of probably only done so myself if the student had a history of fights, behavior problems, etc. The problem is that we live in a \"cover-your-ass\" society, where nothing bad happens from an over reaction.

I am not sure the teachers are allowed to have a choice anymore. I believe they are compelled to report anything and everything and the school board decides what direction to go in. I could be wrong but I do not think so.

First, being facebook friends with your teacher/boss is an astoundingly poor decision.

Second, yes, teachers are almost legally required to report things like this, otherwise, if something happened, and they held important information that could have stopped it, (consider the extremely unlikely scenario that your daughter actually did dropkick this kid out a window), they will be held liable personally and fired, sued, etc.

I cannot ever overemphasize the issue of facebook \"privacy\". Nothing you say on facebook is private. Ever. Do not ever say anything on facebook you wouldn't want The Most Sensitive Person In The World to see and judge you on.

That said, I still agree that this whole situation is complete and utter bull. When I was in high school, I was able to make much more obvious \"threats\" against my classmate in front of the teacher (\"give me back my damn eraser or I'll break your kneecaps\" [friendly banter, I swear]) with no consequences. The amusing part is that the schools have dug themselves into this little hole of fearing students with their own ineptitude, so take some comfort in that, if you like.

The fact of the matter is schools can't really ignore anything that looks like a threat. Perhaps if columbine and 9/11 didn't happen the teacher would've talked you before snitching; teachers have their hands tied these days when it comes threats.

The only way this could've been prevented is if your daughter wasn't on facebook, or any other social networking site.

fliptw wrote:The only way this could've been prevented is if your daughter wasn't on facebook, or any other social networking site.

No, you've just got to:

1. Avoid friending people who are friends with people you don't want to see your posts/info
2. Configure your wall post settings to "friends only"
3. Still avoid posting anything "criminal" because there is always the possibility that someone on FB staff could see it

\"Drop kick him out a window.\"?... Apple doesn't fall very far from the tree does it?

Back to seriousness... In my opinion Facebook and other social networking sites are dangerous and shouldn't be treated like other online sites. It ties back to your real identity which has massive potential to cause real social problems offline. I don't have a Facebook or any other social networking site profile myself (most PC techs don't) largely because I'm suspicious of them and prefer to side with caution. I've been surfing around the net for 13 years and I've learned that it is best to keep a rather solid wall between ones online and offline identities.

I agree that the teacher is clearly abusing this resource, but I also recognize that Facebook and social networking sites in general clearly encourage abuse. In fact I think that type of abuse is practically unavoidable, which is why I recommend either avoiding social networking sites entirely or being extremely guarded about what you post on one.

So I would definitely stand up and protest that this teacher has broken all of her students trust. However I would also recommend you have a sit down talk with your daughter and tell her to not trust Facebook or other social networking sites with her personal opinions, personal information or anything she would not tell someone face to face.

It depends an awful lot on context. If the little girl only stated she wanted to drop kick him out of a window then the teacher should report what he learned (from a place he should never have been...another issue).
If, however, the teacher read that a little girl was so frustrated at the other kids poor behavior that she was venting and used those words then the teacher should have commented back to the little girl that he would see about reigning the brat in so she isn't further distracted from the lesson.

Either way the teacher has shown really poor judgement for getting into a facebook relationship with a student and most likely that he is a fool for not thinking this through and working in the best interest of his students instead of looking for a way to flex his new teacher muscle.

Gooberman wrote:...but if you were discribing a similar situation between a boss/employee, I wouldn't feel at all bad for her.

I think if an adult employee accepted the request and then the boss was too stupid to distinguish between a person venting and a real threat and fired the employee based soley on the comment you wouldn't be so ready to let it go. Adults have an obligation to use their wisdom and judgement when taking actions that threaten other peoples quality of life, this teacher has done harm to the little girl unless she was a real threat. To start the wheels of bureaucracy in motion and aim the rolling mass toward the little girl and then wash your hands of any responsibility using a one size fits all rule book as an excuse is a terrible thing to do. Unless the little girl has a history of violence I think he's not qualified to teach with out 'adult' supervision.

Gooberman wrote:I thought you home schooled your children.

I did up until recently. when my Grandkids came into the picture. also this is a charter school, which still has many homeschooling attributes. plus it requires the parents to be active in the teaching role of the students.

Krom wrote:However I would also recommend you have a sit down talk with your daughter and tell her to not trust Facebook or other social networking sites with her personal opinions

already had that talk with her before, and since. typical teenager thick headed and doesnt always listen.

Welcome to the real world. Don't worry, it's safe..

Krom wrote:I agree that the teacher is clearly abusing this resource...

So I would definitely stand up and protest that this teacher has broken all of her students trust.

Will Robinson wrote:Either way the teacher has shown really poor judgement for getting into a facebook relationship with a student and most likely that he is a fool for not thinking this through and working in the best interest of his students instead of looking for a way to flex his new teacher muscle.

null0010 wrote:Second, yes, teachers are almost legally required to report things like this, otherwise, if something happened, and they held important information that could have stopped it, (consider the extremely unlikely scenario that your daughter actually did dropkick this kid out a window), they will be held liable personally and fired, sued, etc.

CUDA wrote:her creative writing teacher is new to the school this year and asked her students if she could be their friends on their face book page.

Mistake #1. Not really appropriate for a teacher to initiate this sort of contact.

my daughter said yes.

Mistake #2. Your daughter, like many 16-year-olds, is naive. Kids, keep your friends list limited, and don't say stuff you don't want repeated.

my daughter said she had gotten very frustrated with him [and] wrote " I was so frustrated with him I wanted to drop kick him out a window"

Honestly, "drop kick him out a window" doesn't make sense as a threat. It's clearly hyperbole. But policy might be phrased in such a way that it doesn't matter.

Get a hold of the relevant school or district policy. Read it carefully. If either the teacher or the principal overstepped their bounds, make it very clear to them that such-and-such was unacceptable.

I would call this \"big brother\" if school policy dictated that teachers attempt to get on the facebook friends lists of their students. I've heard of more ridiculous policies in that vein, so it wouldn't really surprise me

CUDA wrote:I did up until recently. when my Grandkids came into the picture. also this is a charter school, which still has many homeschooling attributes. plus it requires the parents to be active in the teaching role of the students.

I've had bad experiences with Charter schools, though it is very state specific. As funding is often tied to student enrollment, the "authority" system seems backwards. In my experience, the charter schools went out of their way to treat the students like customers, less homework, less disiplined academic environement, refusal to expell a kid under any circumstances, higher grades awarded then what was earned, etc,...... it just didn't work.

A bit off topic, but just giving my $0.02.

I have to agree with Krom stay away from social media sites. It promotes bad habits and can't replace real, face-to-face interactions with your peers. Sad that it seems to be replacing face to face nowdays.

I'd be more afraid of sexual predation than anything. Teachers have NO business friending students, PERIOD!

If any serious repercussions become evident, I would seek a atty. as the teacher wanting to be friends via facebook presents the image of a certain degree of privacy in interacting between teacher and student. Did the teacher bring up any rules when contacting her via facebook? I don't have any social networking sites so I don't know if communicating is posting for all to read or is it limited to just the 2 people involved? Did the teacher say anything about confidentiality when her \"friends\" communicated with her? At any rate I suspect a good atty would get you a nice settlement as the situation reeks of so many inappropriate things. Did the school know or approve of the facebook arrangement? Only contact should of been limited to school work questions and the word \"friend\" should never have been tendered.

Tell your daughter she reminds me of my daughter.

I'd go to that meeting and with a smile on my face and in a very non-threatening manner and make them all feel ridiculous.

Grendel wrote:Welcome to the real world. Don't worry, it isn't safe..

fixed

My Sympathy Cuda, things are insane.

It's ok to use social media (with temperance), but never, EVER post ANYTHING that you don't want to be general public knowledge. Even a restricted \"friends\" list is not going to protect your comments from exposure to people not on that list.

Pictures and words you post on Facebook can not only give you trouble now, but come back to haunt you later. If you wouldn't want it on the front page of Google News, don't put it ANYWHERE in facebook.

Kilarin wrote:My Sympathy Cuda, things are insane.

It's ok to use social media (with temperance), but never, EVER post ANYTHING that you don't want to be general public knowledge. Even a restricted "friends" list is not going to protect your comments from exposure to people not on that list.

Pictures and words you post on Facebook can not only give you trouble now, but come back to haunt you later. If you wouldn't want it on the front page of Google News, don't put it ANYWHERE in facebook.

Yeah. Imagine that facebook is the DBB with your name attached to it.

I do think that the teacher crossed an inappropriate line by bringing up facebook.

If that was my kid, that teacher would be getting a phone call as soon as they told me what happened.

I had a college professor ask me to add her to my face book page. She was surprised when I said I didn't have one, but she agreed that it's a waste of time.

Nice article on Wired today.

http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2010/09/ ... n-facebook

The concept of a teacher friending their own students is pretty shocking to me in the first place, since it feels like it's crossing all sorts of ethical (if not even administrative) boundaries. Hell, I'm amazed a teacher would want to friend their students...my mom teaches, and the last thing on the planet she'd want is having her kids notified every time she makes a wall post.

But yeah, that situation is total bull. I understand why they feel like they have to take those sorts of precautionary measures...but it's still bull.