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Phoenix Red · Post by **Phoenix Red** » Tue May 04, 2004 10:14 pm

...charged with arson, first degree murder, trafficking of controlled substances, and selling souls. In fact, your honour, I had two cardboard cutouts of the perpetrator prepared...

Avder · Post by **Avder** » Tue May 04, 2004 10:36 pm

...and in summation I believe our new battlefield robots for the amry should be based on the "Hello Kitty" line of....

bash · Post by **bash** » Tue May 04, 2004 10:45 pm

*From the body language, you can clearly see that this Kitty is actually saying *Goodbye*.

roid · Post by **roid** » Tue May 04, 2004 11:13 pm

"Microsoft's inhouse cutouts representing it's end users are becomming increasingly insulting."

MD-2389 · Post by **MD-2389** » Tue May 04, 2004 11:41 pm

"Presenting to you, Clippy 3.0! With more features, this addition to the next version of our office suite will be sure to annoy you in record time!"

Zoop! · Post by **Zoop!** » Wed May 05, 2004 12:40 am

★■◆●. My 401(k) plan just **** bit me in the ass. ★■◆●. What the ★■◆● was I thinking by ★■◆●ing investing in this ★■◆●ing company? Damn. *** ****!

Lothar · Post by **Lothar** » Wed May 05, 2004 12:49 am

"Which goes better with my outfit, pink or light purple?"

roid · Post by **roid** » Wed May 05, 2004 1:20 am

"i did SO goto bizarro world, i bring proof"

Sage · Post by **Sage** » Wed May 05, 2004 8:40 am

"I take big shits..."

Ferno · Post by **Ferno** » Wed May 05, 2004 10:47 am

"I think these cutouts are just super!"

Tyranny · Post by **Tyranny** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:10 am

"Remember kids, stay in school. paid for by the retarded puppet theatre troop"

Fusion pimp · Post by **Fusion pimp** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:25 am

-Do this make me look fat?-

index_html · Post by **index_html** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:42 am

"I had my testicles replaced with a pair of these. Fabulous, aren't they?"

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:45 am

"Thanks, mommy!"

Testiculese · Post by **Testiculese** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:46 am

"Now that these girls are 18, we're going to market them properly! Look for the new snuff porn in your local Risque Video next week!"

aside: This one alludes to MaryKate/Ashley. Notice the closer to 18 they get, the less clothes they sport on TV?

Boo · Post by **Boo** » Wed May 05, 2004 2:50 pm

"Houston, we have a problem."

Will Robinson · Post by **Will Robinson** » Wed May 05, 2004 3:10 pm

"We don't make the dumb crap your kids buy.
We make the dumb crap your kids buy more expensive."

Jagger · Post by **Jagger** » Wed May 05, 2004 3:14 pm

"What I've done is taken your average kittens and dressed them in a lovely pink ruched tube dress and cashmere undershirt. I think the effect is simply fabulous."

ccb056 · Post by **ccb056** » Wed May 05, 2004 4:54 pm

I am getting paid to do this.

Beowulf · Post by **Beowulf** » Wed May 05, 2004 6:42 pm

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.
Please, think of the kittens.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Wed May 05, 2004 7:06 pm

using our new stolen Xerox technology, cloning is now easier than ever!

Verran · Post by **Verran** » Wed May 05, 2004 7:15 pm

Hey bub, pass me a lighter, would ya?

*or*

Almost as good as gerbils...

Vertigo 99 · Post by **Vertigo 99** » Wed May 05, 2004 9:54 pm

"FABULOUSSSS!!!!"

Lothar · Post by **Lothar** » Wed May 05, 2004 10:21 pm

budget cuts have forced "animal kingdom" to get creative...

bash · Post by **bash** » Wed May 05, 2004 10:29 pm

*BUY TWO and get a raging homosexual for FREE!*
Offer not valid in Idaho

Jagger · Post by **Jagger** » Wed May 05, 2004 10:38 pm

bash wrote:*BUY TWO and get a raging homosexual for FREE!*
Offer not valid in Idaho

HAHAHA

MD-2389 · Post by **MD-2389** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:10 pm

LOL bash!

"In the event of a crash, these two items can be used as a floatation device...."

or

"For those into goatse, the Uberlarge Dildo corporation has decided to release these brand new Hello Kitty butt plugs! They come in two flavors, strawberry and black cherry!"

Verran · Post by **Verran** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:31 pm

"We were planning on canceling the product line, but we discovered steady sales in New Zealand."

Flabby Chick · Post by **Flabby Chick** » Wed May 05, 2004 11:45 pm

Yo!!! ACE!!!... you didn't holes in the back of these two.

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hello kitty

hello kitty