DescentBB

Mine are from youtube..

THATS NOT EVEN A GORRILLA!!! its a bigfoot.... everyone knows gorrillas dont exist.

edit:
Some songs on youtube have similar replies to these:

My gerbil listened to this song. Now it's a bear.

My cat listened to this song. Now its a lion.

My iguana listened to this song. Now its a dragon.

My mom listened to this song. Now shes a father.

From a movie

I didn’t say I didn’t eat dog…I said I didn’t eat it much.

"...Did they look like psychos? They were vampires! Psycho's don't explode when sunlight hits them - I don't care how crazy they are!!"

From Dusk till Dawn.

From a Lightwave forum comparing apps:
Q "So how are their learning curves different?"
A "They're the same! It's you that is learning!"

boy i tell ya what dusty, I felt like a one legged cat trying to bury turds on a frozen pond out there today....

Don't know if this qualifies, and can't remember who it's by, but:

Knowledge is Power, power corrupts. Study hard, be evil....

Teacher fail: "Every time you take a breath in a sentence you add, a comma."

Karl Rove to Bill O'reilly

Mr.Murdoch pays both of us for our opinions

From reddit:
"If you watch the Obama presidency backwards, it's about a scrappy but almost powerless underdog who overcomes his many powerful enemies, gaining more and more credibility over the years, until he is finally hailed as a glorious savior for the country, with a grand finale of receiving the Nobel peace prize."