Something fun: Why are you the best?

[Alter-Fox]

Post the reasonz that the skillz of all other Descent playerz are so inferior to your own! The less it makes sense, the better!
Of course, whoever makes the best/funniest argument is obviously the best Descent player.
Of course, this thread is a ripoff of Steve Patterson.
Showoff your debating skillz!

This is more about "Why is everyone else worse at Descent than me", than "Why am I so good at Descent". That's because it's more funny when no one is bragging about their own accomplishments.

Rulez:

#1. Don't point at specific people. Example: Saying "You all fight like daffodils" is ok. Saying "Thunderbunny fights like a daffodil" is not. I know generalizing is generally bad, but in this case it's good because it keeps the thread fun rather than hurtful.

#2. For the same reason, you shouldn't back up your facts. Saying that "You all suck at this game, because this one time in the mines, I was playing against this person and... ..." wouldn't be good because that person might remember the game too and they might resent your comment. Besides, this thread should stay kind of random.

#3. Funny is more important that fact. The less true your fact is the more fun you can have making it up!

#4. This is not a serious thread.

Golden rule: Present your facts in such a way that everyone else can assume that you're not talking about them personally (even if you are!). Then we can all have fun.

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You all fight like sick hedgehogs.

[Behemoth]

The rules make it damn near impossible for me to say anything

[Alter-Fox]

You're all too chicken to post in this thread!

I can think of many things. Try to just get in the right state of mind...

[Sirius]

Two words: psychological lag.

There's the people who try to handle me as though I lag when I don't, and then there's the people who just ... I don't know, maybe they're not used to shooting trichording ships or something? And so they miss a lot.

I don't seem to have that problem... and so the universe makes me win by default I guess.

The above does not really apply to D3. Just in case you were wondering. Though there was a recent Ascent FFA game where I was giving significantly better than I got against everyone in the game in spite of having a busted mouse that would hardly even turn... heaven only knows how that happened. All ya gotta do is shoot at me...

[Alter-Fox]

I tend to have more trouble against the BOZ, and against people who are good enough that they just don't need to think to fight well (Fiend, Behe...) I do fine against people who do think. And I have a theory...

But wait... why am I telling you why I'm worse?

[Fiend]

I'm the best cause everyone else needs their monitor on.

[Spidey]

I was the best, because I played Descent for more hours than was humanly possible.

[Alter-Fox]

:snort: Fiend is winner.

Carry on peoples.

[CDN_Merlin]

I was the best because I ate, breathed, slept and had sex with Descent.

[snoopy]

I'm the best because I have the l33t haxxorz.

And mouselook.

[LEON]

My secret. I have a monitor behind my back with a full rear view enabled. So, every time I wonder what's going on behind me.......I just turn around and look

[skunk]

I am the best at descent because I sleep with Lady Luck


-skunk

[flip]

I am the best

[TigerRaptor]

Kamikaze

[flip]

Kamikaze

An entirely valid tactic depending on your shield level

[Sergeant Thorne]

I was the best at D3 because I fueled my Magnum with highly-refined, liquid AWESOME. 0% emissions, the only by-product was flaming wreckage. Not exactly Green, but certainly sustainable. Sadly liquid awesome shot up to 2 hours/gallon, with the decreased demand of wholesale beat-downs, so I haven't been able to afford any for some time.

[Foil]

Thorne wins the thread. Awesome post.

[Enzo-03]

I'm the best because I got a better job so I can afford the liquid awesome.

[Behemoth]

Because i learned from the best.

[Isaac]

I'm always the best, because I always play single player mode.