DescentBB

"Why do men keep putting me in the girlfriend zone?"

Can someone tell me exactly what the Fonz is going on here?

It's a woman posting, no man will ever understand

Sergeant Thorne wonders why you're bothering to wonder

IMO this girl needs to forget all of her crazy alternatives, and just realize that no guy goes looking for a female best friend unless they're gay... You just don't invest that much in an exclusive relationship at that age unless you're looking for a certain someone. Maybe she should be looking for a best friend and partner in one... Way to be a triangle, when humanity is circular, in a square world. But what do I know.

Sergeant Thorne wrote:IMO this girl needs to forget all of her crazy alternatives, and just realize that no guy goes looking for a female best friend unless they're gay...

Since when? I have a couple close friends who are female, and I'm not looking to pursue a romantic relationship with any of them. It's perfectly normal to enjoy someone's company without feeling like they're the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Gawd, I had trouble with that in college. It always seemed that if I just wanted a male friend to talk to or get help with school work, the guy would invariably move on to wanting much more instead of just being a friend as time passed. It was almost like a conquest and I was it. Once they found out that the friendship wasn't going to progress to the next level, they'd leave. Too much testosterone maybe?

Top Gun wrote:

Sergeant Thorne wrote:IMO this girl needs to forget all of her crazy alternatives, and just realize that no guy goes looking for a female best friend unless they're gay...

Since when? I have a couple close friends who are female, and I'm not looking to pursue a romantic relationship with any of them. It's perfectly normal to enjoy someone's company without feeling like they're the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

$5 says they want you. Both of them.

In my experience, deep inter-gender relationships don't stay that way with heterosexuals. Either they turn romantic (which, IMO is potentially the best formula for a lasting one) or they dissolve. Actually, I think they rarely even start without one side wanting more.

My thing is, it seems like too much of a blanket overgeneralisation. Sure, there are guys who are just looking to get in girl's pants. I'm not arguing that. But what about the guys that genuinely start out as friends, with no ulterior motives, then fall in love over time? Why lump them in with the bad eggs? Why assume they were only after sex the whole time?

And what about the girls that use the friendzone as an easy out, a blameless method of telling someone they aren't interested? Why can't they just say "I'm not interested" and accept that this may cause some people to see them as insensitive or uncaring or whatever? Again, I'm not saying there aren't women who really aren't interested in a romantic involvement, but still want to be friends.

Why does it have to be an issue of "every guy is a sex-hungry jerk who can't be a real friend to girls, and all girls are chaste, goodhearted people who just want to make friends"? I'm not saying all girls are sinister cretins who look to place the blame with anyone and everyone else, and I'm not saying that all guys are wellmeaning, chivalrous gentlemen. It just seems a trifle unbalanced, in my opinion.

And on both sides of the issue, what about the people who say "I'm looking for a nice guy/girl", but overlook the genuinely nice guy/girl friend they have, then get with the ★■◆● guy/girl, then complain about the choice they willingly made of their own will, and claim there are no nice guys/girls to be found?

Humans are complicated, friendship is complicated, love is complicated. Logical thinking is uncertain where emotions and hormones are involved.

The best way to get into any gals pants is to just be friends. Takes the pressure off you and disarms them at the same time!

I find the best way to score is to drive them out to a very expensive restaurant in a expensive sports car, take them to a play at a nice theater, pay for things off a wad of cash (not a credit card) and in no time you will be in nirvana. Even TC would become easy

My way don't cost ya nothing though!

If she's as young as she sounds ...then it's going to be a while before she gets it. Yeah, the whole time she was "hanging out" with said guy, she was totally oblivious to the signals he was getting (real or imagined).

Yup, we're hardwired differently than girls. If she wants a friend, then marry one. Just keep him at arm's length for a year or two. ... and go easy on his ego. They bruise easily, especially at a younger age.

; )

one of the comments on the blog said it was a satire? perhaps?

Duper wrote:one of the comments on the blog said it was a satire? perhaps?

Someone said so on the internet... it must be true!

Is it still satire if your premises for criticism are off?

Step 1: Be attractive.

Duper wrote:...one of the comments on the blog said it was a satire? perhaps?

Definitely a satire. The title alone is a play on the "girls always put me in the 'friend-zone'" stereotype.

woodchip wrote:I find the best way to score is to drive them out to a very expensive restaurant in a expensive sports car, take them to a play at a nice theater, pay for things off a wad of cash (not a credit card) and in no time you will be in nirvana. Even TC would become easy

Oh, but you missed the best part. You'd have to be cute and hunky to even make me want to get to second base. If you looked like a big hairy bear troll, there would be no way. As for me, you'd never succeed. I'm way past prime and don't even care anymore.

But the boys can be clueless birdbrains too.

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-hila ... 00715.html

Heh, love is just another psychotic condition...

tunnelcat wrote:But the boys can be clueless birdbrains too.

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-hila ... 00715.html

Those are hilarious, and remind me a bit of a story of mine:

On the second morning of our honeymoon, my wife and I went to a little place for breakfast. My wife was away from the table for a few minutes, and while she was gone, a woman startled me by sitting down at the table. She was wearing a glittery top, and started asking where I was from, how long I was going to be in town, etc. A moment before my wife returned to the table, a nearby cop came over and led the woman away. I was still trying to figure out what was going on, when my wife came back, laughing.

"Do you know what just happened?"

"...Uhm, this weird lady sat down and started asking me questions..."

"Dave, she was trying to hit on you; she's a prostitute."

"What? Ohhhh....."

I still blame it on my general morning dazedness.

woodchip wrote:Heh, love is just another psychotic condition...

So is religiosity.

Foil wrote:On the second morning of our honeymoon, my wife and I went to a little place for breakfast. My wife was away from the table for a few minutes, and while she was gone, a woman startled me by sitting down at the table. She was wearing a glittery top, and started asking where I was from, how long I was going to be in town, etc. A moment before my wife returned to the table, a nearby cop came over and led the woman away. I was still trying to figure out what was going on, when my wife came back, laughing.

"Do you know what just happened?"

"...Uhm, this weird lady sat down and started asking me questions..."

"Dave, she was trying to hit on you; she's a prostitute."

"What? Ohhhh....."

I still blame it on my general morning dazedness.

Better drink more coffee in the morn.

Foil wrote:

tunnelcat wrote:But the boys can be clueless birdbrains too.

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-hila ... 00715.html

Those are hilarious, and remind me a bit of a story of mine:

On the second morning of our honeymoon, my wife and I went to a little place for breakfast. My wife was away from the table for a few minutes, and while she was gone, a woman startled me by sitting down at the table. She was wearing a glittery top, and started asking where I was from, how long I was going to be in town, etc. A moment before my wife returned to the table, a nearby cop came over and led the woman away. I was still trying to figure out what was going on, when my wife came back, laughing.

"Do you know what just happened?"

"...Uhm, this weird lady sat down and started asking me questions..."

"Dave, she was trying to hit on you; she's a prostitute."

"What? Ohhhh....."

I still blame it on my general morning dazedness.

I have moments like this all the time. Guess I'm socially retarded. Case in point:

tunnelcat's link wrote:"My ex once had a cute bubbly female friend of his come over. She was younger than him and thought he was amazing. When they were hanging out in the bathroom at his place (don't know why), she decided then and there to take off her clothes and have a shower right in front of him. He just continued playing his guitar and tried not to look at her."

"In high school I invited my first boyfriend over at 1 am, while my parents were out of town, to watch Balto. We watched the whole damn thing, he gave me a hug, and biked home."

I have had almost the exact same thing happen to me, on both counts.

When I was younger, there was this girl I knew. She was absolutely gorgeous. I biked seven miles (one way) to her house in the middle of the night, on multiple occasions. When I got there, I would knock on her bedroom window, and she would come to the door (usually in some huge, baggy sweatshirt and little else), then we would go to her bedroom and sit on her bed and watch movies and talk. Looking back now, I think maybe she might have liked me a little, perhaps. I'm not sure. I always just thought we were really good friends.

Playing guitar in the bathroom…now that’s funny, I wonder if he had the guitar with him, or did he go and get it, so he could serenade her?

Ode to cute wet girl.

tunnelcat wrote:But the boys can be clueless birdbrains too.

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-hila ... 00715.html

Some of those really are sad, but others are the sorts of things that could have been solved if the girl had just said flat-out that she was interested. I think most guys wouldn't mind the girl taking the lead like that; I sure as hell wouldn't.

Well... I'm shocked.

snoopy wrote:In my experience, deep inter-gender relationships don't stay that way with heterosexuals. Either they turn romantic (which, IMO is potentially the best formula for a lasting one) or they dissolve. Actually, I think they rarely even start without one side wanting more.

There are exceptions, e.g., when both friends just plain find each other unattractive (or are already with someone much more attractive).