DescentBB

ok here are a couple that I've seen post your funnies and lets see what ya got. keep them clean and keep them political.

Little David was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the
children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came
up-fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc. David was being
uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked him about his father.

David replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes
off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear.
Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and
make love with him for money."

The teacher, shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to
work on some exercises and took David aside to ask him, "Is this really
true about your father?"

No," said David, "He works for the Democratic National Committee to elect
John Kerry, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."





A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered
altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an
hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air
balloon approximately 30 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees,
14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

The woman smiled and said sarcastically, "You must be a Republican!"

"I am" replied the man, "how do you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is
technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of the
information and I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled wryly and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am" replied the balloonist, "how do you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are
going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise that you cannot keep and you expect me to
solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were
before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

I've heard the second one before, only it was an engineer and a manager.

It was funnier the way I heard it...

*breaks out some rotten tomatoes*

A bus load of politicians was speeding along a country road when it ploughed into a tree and overturned. There was blood and glass everywhere. An old farmer saw the crash and was the first one on the scene. Within two hours, he had dug a mass grave and buried all of the politicians.

The next day, the local sheriff passed through and saw the wreckage of the bus. The farmer explained to him what had happened.

"Were they all dead?" asked the Sheriff.

"Well," said the farmer. "Some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

When a little boy desperately needed 100 dollars to buy a present, his mother suggested that he pray for it. So he wrote a letter to God asking for the money, and put it in the mail. The Post Office intercepted the letter and decided to forward it to the President. The President was so touched by the request that he instructed his secretary to send the boy 5 dollars.

On receiving the money, the boy wrote back: "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, those thieving bastards deducted 95 dollars."

What do you get when you pop a hot air balloon?

A depressed politician.