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Ineresting fact about lightbulbs

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 4:23 pm
by Hattrick
This is too wierd to be true but man is it ever funny!


This is just an account of a terminal case of human stupidity leading to a number of accidents. Here it goes.

The place is a small regional center town in Soviet Union. The time is early 1980s. A local conference of college teachers is in progress. A few dozens of teachers came into town for the event and a few of them were situated in the local hotel. The hotel is very poor, but so are the teachers and 3 of them take a single room. Since there is not much to do in a small town at night, certain amount of alchoholic beverages is obtained from a local store and consumed.

During the conversation among the newly found friends one of the teachers (lets call him Dmitriy Petrovich) mentiones that it is a medical fact, that it is impossible to take a light bulb out of ones mouth once it was inserted there. This meets active disbelief of his two opponents who start questioning him as to what kind of light bulb he means and how come you cannot take it out, if you can put it in. Dmitriy Petrovich replies, that he is talking about a standard 100 Watt light balbs such as the one lighting their room, but lacking medical education he doesn't know the reason for not being able to remove it. Discussion heats up, and at some point one of his opponents desides that an experiment is necessary.

Mind you, that all of the teachers in the room are PhDs in various fields of exact science. Obviously not one of them is a medic. The light bulb is then removed and the most loud opponent (lets call him Vladimir) puts it into his mouth. In a few seconds it becomes clear that Dmitriy Petrovich was right, and it is quite impossible for Vladimir to remove the light balb due to peculiar clenching of jaw muscles.

After a short discussion the three friends decide to get Vladmir to a doctor. They get out of the hotel, and stop a cab. They drive to the hospital where they have to relate the story of the accident to the night nurse, who, after almost choking herself with giggles, calls the ER doctor. The doctor carefully examines Vladimir, and unexpectedly hits him with his fist in the back of the jaw. Vladimirs jaw falls open and the doctor returns the light bulb to Dmitriy Petrovich, explaining that Vladimir is not going to be able to use his mouth for a couple of hours due to the over stressed jaw muscles.

The three teachers get back into a cab and start driving home, when the third teacher starts complaining that the other two are playing him for a fool, that this is medicaly impossible for such phenomenon to exist and that he is about to prove it. He puts the light bulb into his mouth, the cab makes a U-turn and speeds back to the hospital. At the hospital, the nurse starts giggling when the three men enter the emergency room, and after hearing their new story falls of her chair laughing. After a little while she calls the surgeon, who chuckles, hits the 3rd teacher in the back of the jaw and removes the light balb.

The cab has left, so the three friends catch another one. Dmitriy Petrovich gets noto the front seat and puts his mute friends with their jaws hanging open in the back. Cab driver is mildly surprised by the unusual company of an obviously drunk giggling man and two others looking ilke village idiots, and asks about it. Dmitriy Petrovich asures teh driver that the other two are not idiots, but most educated people and the problem is their small argument about a light balb. After carefully listening to the whole story the driver asks what kind of light bulb is he talking about, and Dmitriy shows the hotel light bulb saying 'this one'. 'Impossible' says the cab driver and in a few seconds the cab turns around and goes to the hospital.

When the nurse sees these guys the 3rd time inside 2 hours, she starts having rather serious breathing difficulties trying to laugh much harder then mother nature designed. After getting her in shape Dmitriy Petrovich makes her call the surgeon who, promptly hitting the cab driver in the jaw takes the light bulb and smashes it on the table saying that this should put an end to the story. The four men get back into the cab and drive to the hotel.

On the way they are stopped by the road patrol police unit. The policeman (militianer) is very surprized to find that the only person able to speak in a car full of people is a rather drunk man who tells him a wierd story about light balbs. 'I will be right back' replies the policeman, goes back to the road side station, Dmitriy and companions whatch the ligh go off inside the station, and in a few seconds the policeman appears again. Using gestures he asks people on the back seat to move over. A metal end of a light bulb is sticking out of his mouth.

The cab goes back to the hospital. The nurse becomes hysterical with joy. After a few minutes of recuperation she goes to the cabinet of the surgeon to call him. She opens the door and falls to the floor unconscious. In the doorway appears the surgeon with his jaw hanging wide open.

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 6:13 pm
by Krom
Seen it before.

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2004 6:34 pm
by Liquid Fire
I think this was posted about a month ago...

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 1:24 am
by Lobber
The only problem with this story is that light bulbs are too large to fit in people's mouths.

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 3:37 am
by XeonJr
and you know this from personal experience pehaps, Lobber? duh uh... :P

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 6:47 am
by roid
i don't get it :?

am i supposed to believe that this story is true or something?

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 7:55 am
by Krom
And becides, its not light bulbs, its pool balls.

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 8:04 am
by Sage
Yeh I don't get it either.

Re: Ineresting fact about lightbulbs

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:44 am
by IsAB
roid wrote: don't get it :?

am i supposed to believe that this story is true or something?
Hattrick wrote:The place is a small regional center town in Soviet Union. The time is early 1980s.

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 11:47 am
by Hattrick
jebus people

quit trying to read something in to it.

Its a freakin funny story.

as far as its truthfulness. I doubt it.

man y'all need to get laid or something youre taking things too seriously

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 12:36 pm
by Topher
Hattrick wrote:jebus people

quit trying to read something in to it.

Its a freakin funny story.
A funny story...lacking a punch line. You see, jokes need punch lines, that's why they're funny. Otherwise people will gawk at you with "their jaws wide open" on how anyone in their right mind could ever stand within a 300 meter radius of you. :(

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 12:36 pm
by Krom
Image

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 1:11 pm
by Unix
I easily removed mine.

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 1:40 pm
by Hattrick
gee krom, I did SEVERAL searches for the subject I was going to post, Didnt find one already so I posted.

excuse me topher but i do believe jokes must have punch lines, I wasnt aware that funny storys must have a punch line also! my bad please forgive me.

I repeat y'all need to get laid.

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 2:00 pm
by Krom
Uhmmm hattrick, we are just joking, you know "haha funny!", grow some hide will ya. And quit bringing up the subject of lacking sex lives or someone will suggest that you arent getting any.

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 4:01 pm
by DarkShadow
Krom wrote:And quit bringing up the subject of lacking sex lives or someone will suggest that you arent getting any.
Lol

light bulb of doom

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 9:58 pm
by TechPro
If you go to the Darwin Awards site you'll find that story under "Light Bulb of Doom". :roll:

Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:39 am
by Sage
Krom wrote:And quit bringing up the subject of lacking sex lives or someone will suggest that you arent getting any.
hah hah hah, seriously

Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:07 pm
by roid
i still don't get it.

i could tell you a fabricated story about how if you stick the wheels from a match-box car into your ears: your shoes will no longer fit.

would it be funny?

WHY IS THIS FUNNY?!