Subject: letter to Mom
A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed,
"Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the
letter with trembling hands
Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and
you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice, even
with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But
it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we will
be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack
of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more
children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. John taught me
that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us
and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we
want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS
so John can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.
Your daughter,
Judith
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is
safe for me to come home.
