DescentBB

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of
coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath.


The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joes employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.


If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home or go hungry because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

google - 43 hits

:-/

i kinda wanna wait to see what your comment is ferno. did you have one? or did you slip and paste this by accident.

actually it was a satire post roid.

i know...
ok i'm wrecking the satire mood, i'll shutup

Amusing.

Joe gets out of bed and admires the small trailer he lives in as it is better than living in a cardboard box. Joe had a nice small home in CA until taxes got so high he had to give it back to the bank as no one wanted to buy it. All thanks to the liberal do gooders who thought taxing property owners was the way to support the panhandlers in San Francisco. Joe make a cup of instant coffee as he is out of a job and cannot afford the elistist coffee the fat cat liberals (the same ones the taxed him out of his house) drink.
Joe gets the paper and goes to the employment section to look for a job. The same taxes that lost joe his home also forced his employer to close shop and move to Mexico. Joes union coudn't do a thing about it. Joe could get a non-union job but employers don't want him as they think he may try to organise their workers into a union.
Joe would like to breath the clean air, but it is pointless as he smokes 3 packs of cigs a day due to worrying about a job. Joe doesn't get out much as all the taxes on gasoline prevent joe from driving. Besides which joe got rid of his car due to the high rate of auto insurance induced by liberal snot nosed atty's chasing ambulances.
Joe thinks about ending it all but there is a law against that also...created by guess who?

oh boy.. here we go again.

screw it. birds, shut this thing down before it gets out of hand.

woodchip wrote:Joe thinks about ending it all but there is a law against that also...created by guess who?

Chipper, would anyone seriously contemplating suicide be worried about it being illegal?

As far as cigarettes go, you forgot two things, one that defeats your point and one that supports it. 1) Environmentalists protect the air for everybody. Smoking destroys your own lungs. 2) Cigarettes are taxed.

Ferno, how can you post this and then when someone replies in the same spirit request that it be shut down?

Joe thinks about ending it all but there is a law against that also...created by guess who?

In this state? A religious conservative who thinks killing yourself is a sin. Good ol' Tennessee... Bleh.

Cmon guys.. this is supposed to be a political HUMOR post. not another rep vs dem thing.

you guys are far too uptight about politics.


DC: i've never known Woody to joke around with stuff like this. If it really was in jest, alright. no big deal.

Ferny, wave the red flag and expect the bull to charge

Toro! Toro!

Ferno, anything posted in E&C is GUARANTEED to become a Dem vs. Rep thing, especially with a name like "Joe Republican". I wonder if you had posted it in the cafe if it woulda been sent here.... hmm...

Heheh @ BlueFlames. Spot on.

Hell, screw republican vs. democrat, I'm neither and I find it hilarious to think that democrats think the world is that simple, where everything is free and safe due to their hard work I saw a similar one that was anti-globalization a few years ago - equally hilarious.

Could the same be said about "Joe Sixpack"?

As long as we don't get to "Joe Six-string," then that's a bit too close to home.

Is that like "Joe G-string"?

No, think Zuruck, not Kurupt.

Not to start any Republican vs Democrat animosity or anything but... most Republicans are idiots.

Suncho wrote:Not to start any Republican vs Democrat animosity or anything but... most Republicans are idiots.

oh yeah, that wasn't meant to start anything

Suncho wrote:Not to start any Republican vs Democrat animosity or anything but... most Republicans are idiots.

And most FemDems are emotional basket cases

woodchip wrote:

Suncho wrote:Not to start any Republican vs Democrat animosity or anything but... most Republicans are idiots.

And most FemDems are emotional basket cases

Or psycho feminazis

Suncho wrote:most Republicans are idiots.

Most All supporters of *either* republicans or democrats have lowered their expectations for representation down far too low.
So being pridefull of support for *either* side really isn't that impressive. It's kind of like saying I chose correctly when deciding which one of my own feet to shoot.

Will Robinson wrote:It's kind of like saying I chose correctly when deciding which one of my own feet to shoot.

I believe I am beginning to like you

I kinda have to agree with yall. The parties we have now are like choosing between a worm and a slug. We need to have a 3rd party (a VIABLE 3rd party) that will bring back integrity to the White House. You know, something like "We're not going to stick our noses into your life." While we're at it, why don't we eliminate all taxes and instead impose a national sales tax on everything but bread, milk and toilet paper?

"Integrity to the White House". Now that's a novel concept. As long as we have pilitcos looking to score major perks, soft money and high paying pensions, forget about it. Integrity in our government went down the toilet a long time ago.

Stryker wrote:I kinda have to agree with yall. The parties we have now are like choosing between a worm and a slug. We need to have a 3rd party (a VIABLE 3rd party) that will bring back integrity to the White House. You know, something like "We're not going to stick our noses into your life." While we're at it, why don't we eliminate all taxes and instead impose a national sales tax on everything but bread, milk and toilet paper?

ROFL, like that will ever happen. The current election system is rigged too well to upport the two party system.

A viable third party needs to be viable in congress first, before reaching for the White House.

If you are going to split some other party's vote, then split them in as many races as you can.

Stryker wrote:I kinda have to agree with yall. The parties we have now are like choosing between a worm and a slug. We need to have a 3rd party (a VIABLE 3rd party) that will bring back integrity to the White House. You know, something like "We're not going to stick our noses into your life." While we're at it, why don't we eliminate all taxes and instead impose a national sales tax on everything but bread, milk and toilet paper?

People, it would seem we have a libertarian in our midst. He must be killed immediately.

The organization of government around two major parties isn't anything new; it began during the ratification of the Constitution. In fact, the Electoral College system is basically set up in favor of two parties. I don't mind having only two political parties; it's far better than that goofy parliamentary system of government, where you can have several parties, none with a majority. That's what I call "organized chaos." What we really need is better leadership for the parties and better candidate choices; that's unlikely, though.

I'm not talking about having someone start a new party every day, I'm talking about one new major party: the Moralists. People who are just tired of all the junk that comes with politics, and are looking to change things from the inside out. Some way to get rid of the current definition of politics. I think most people these days are tired of it; that's why people don't vote.

The only way a third party could win is if they got exposure and a following. In todays corporate sponsored elections, only the two major parties, the democrats and the republicans, are invited to participate in things that could possibly gain a third party that needed exposure, like debates.

If any of you followed the aftermath of the Wellstone crash in MN, there was some major noise made by a few third parties who wanted in on the one, last minute debate that occured between Norm Coleman and the Democratic Replacement Candidate Walter Mondale. Lawsuits and everything that the courts just threw out in the end. Similar stuff happens in pretty much every other state.

Suncho wrote:Not to start any Republican vs Democrat animosity or anything but... most Republicans are idiots.

Stooping down to converse at your own level I see...

Joe had a nice small home in CA until taxes got so high he had to give it back to the bank as no one wanted to buy it.

Anyone who can afford a home in CA these days won't have trouble with the taxes, and certainly won't have trouble selling it. See, so many people want to live here that house prices are insane, even though there are now plenty of apartment vacancies.

All thanks to the liberal do gooders who thought taxing property owners was the way to support the panhandlers in San Francisco.

Is this where property taxes go? Are those panhandlers being supported? I'm sorry, but I don't think any change in policy w.r.t. homeless in San Fran is going to dent the high taxes of California either way.

BTW, California has been some serious budgetary crisis due to the fact that Rep. Arnold nixed the vehicle registration fees. Whoops.

Joe make a cup of instant coffee as he is out of a job and cannot afford the elistist coffee the fat cat liberals (the same ones the taxed him out of his house) drink.

Yeah, Repubs hate latte's...

Joe gets the paper and goes to the employment section to look for a job. The same taxes that lost joe his home also forced his employer to close shop and move to Mexico.

Actually, the biggest part of the HUGE economic downturn here in the valley has been outsourcing jobs to Asia. Companies should be allowed to outsource - dog eat dog, right?

Joe would like to breath the clean air, but it is pointless as he smokes 3 packs of cigs a day due to worrying about a job.

Too bad he doesn't have health care.

Joe doesn't get out much as all the taxes on gasoline prevent joe from driving. Besides which joe got rid of his car due to the high rate of auto insurance induced by liberal snot nosed atty's chasing ambulances.

This other out of work Joe I heard was smacked up in a car accident. Good thing he had insurance to cover the medical.

Joe thinks about ending it all but there is a law against that also...created by guess who?

rotfl. You're priceless.

Ha Haâ?¦The problem here is, this â??humorâ?