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how good are you?
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 6:18 am
by HaAGen DaZS
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a "professional." Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, "Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? " (Wrong Answer) Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
You just put him in there. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 8:24 am
by JMEaT
I laughed, until I stopped. And since I never started...
Not Heh worthy, so you get a Har.
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 9:18 am
by Sergeant Thorne
Haha, I love it!
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:40 am
by suicide eddie
3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
oops wrong question it should be,
3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except (two). Which animal does not attend?
you forgot to make an airhole in the fridge. unless the giraffe got turned into a zombie
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:56 am
by Clayman
it is inhabited by crocodiles
Based on the word, "is," which is in present tense, the correct answer should not be merely to swim across, since the question clearly indicates that in the present time frame the crocodiles do indeed inhabit the river (most likely the conference concluded, and the crocodiles returned to the river for dessert
)
And of course, the 1st 2 questions in particular, while perhaps valid, ignore the reality of real life. Few refrigerators will be large enough to contain the giraffe, and anyone sensible will notice that the giraffe must be taken out first, but still, good for a "heh."
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:33 am
by Zer0Cool
thank you for that over anilization of a joke josh...good job
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:54 am
by snoopy
I think the answer to #4 is throw a couple sticks a dynamite in the water.
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 12:46 pm
by Mobius
Actually, swim across crocodile infested waters is reasonably safe provided you enter without making a splash, don;t thrash around in the water, and basically act like a predator rather than prey.
Crocs (and other preds) don't hunt other predators.
Just as in the African savanah, the best way to avoid being eaten by something is to hunt something else.
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 1:36 pm
by Tricord
This is part of a joke series that include the following:
Q: How can you know an elephant has been in your fridge?
A: There are footprints in the butter.
Q: How can you fit four elephants in a car?
A: Two in the front and two in the back.
Also, you got the giraffe and the elephant mixed up. It's as follows:
Q: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
A: Open the door, insert the elephant, close the door.
Q: How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?
A: Open the door, remove the elephant, bend the giraffe's neck double, insert the giraffe, close the door.
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:47 pm
by Mobius
Haggy, those are modified version of the follwing classics:
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a Mini?
A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How many giraffes can you fir in a Mini?
A: None, it's full of elephants.
Q: How do you know when there's an elephant in your fridge?
A: One set of elephant tracks in your butter.
Q: How do you know when there's TWO elephants in your fridge?
A: Two sets of elephant tracks in your butter....
Q: How do you know when there's FOUR elephants in your fridge?
A: Empty Mini parked outside...
There's also some rider jokes that accompany this series.
Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
Cruel people also invented the following about the Mini:
Q: How many astronauts can you fit in a Mini?
A: Seven. Two in the front. Two in the back, and three in the ashtray.
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 4:07 pm
by Vindicator
Mobius wrote:
Cruel people also invented the following about the Mini:
Q: How many astronauts can you fit in a Mini?
A: Seven. Two in the front. Two in the back, and three in the ashtray.
I've heard that joke before with Jewish people.
*ducks*
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 4:12 pm
by Flabby Chick
I've heard worse from holocaust survivours...stop ducking.