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Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 7:51 pm
by Lobber
I've read this long ago, thought it might be fun to ressurect it.
A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate
students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. A significant amount of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all
souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese
Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell
before I sleep with you,"; and, take into account the fact that I still
have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then 2 cannot be
true, and so Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 7:57 pm
by Avder
Old as hell, but still worth a chuckle.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 8:02 pm
by Krom
Yeah, still good for a laugh after all these years.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:04 pm
by Vertigo 99
hey lobber, buddy, we get e-mail too.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:05 pm
by Lobber
I'm wise enough to not be subject to email joke spam.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:11 pm
by Jeff250
If you don't forward this to 10 of your friends by midnight, you won't get an A in Chemistry either.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:15 pm
by Tetrad
Lobber wrote:I'm wise enough to not be subject to email joke spam.
I think the point he was trying to make is that we've heard these all before.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:30 pm
by Mobius
Um - neither.
Hell doesn't exist.
Might as well ask how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. We can find a pin, but where are the angels?
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:33 pm
by Vertigo 99
Tetrad wrote:Lobber wrote:I'm wise enough to not be subject to email joke spam.
I think the point he was trying to make is that we've heard these all before.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:34 pm
by Vindicator
Mobius wrote:Um - neither.
Hell doesn't exist.
Might as well ask how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. We can find a pin, but where are the angels?
Um... whoosh?
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:41 pm
by Lobber
Quit yer bitchin' and laugh already.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:23 pm
by Vertigo 99
That's the problem, Lobber. I've laughed already.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:26 pm
by Lobber
Apparently you don't share my gift of recurrent mirth. I can watch any old looney toons cartoon and laugh just as hard at them now as I did years ago, as if it were completely new to me.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:32 pm
by Vertigo 99
You need to have surgery and get that pole removed from your ass, dude.
This was funny / clever, but it's not something that I really want to see here every month, especially when it brings along all its e-mail buddies for a Café party.
No offense to you; sorry if its not funny to me anymore.
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 11:33 pm
by Lobber
Who posted this last month?
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 11:43 pm
by Vertigo
Lighten up already, peoples...
Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:46 am
by roid
lets just say when my brother tries to tell me this joke, i stare at him with evil eyes until he shuts up.
to tell the truth it wasn't really funny the first time i heard it, and this would be about the 6th time i've heard it.
this channel sucks!
(*anonymously throws a tomato at lobber*)
Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 2:56 pm
by Mr. Perfect
roid wrote:(*anonymously throws a tomato at lobber*)
Gotcha.
Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 3:09 pm
by Dedman
I always thought the proofs that girls are evil and the stupid rich do little work were funnier.