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Who's Your Daddy?

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 8:25 am
by Iceman
I laughed hard at this one guys ... thot i'd share it widja ...

Who's your daddy?

When someone puts in for Child Support, the proper thing is to do is find out who the father is and see why he is not providing support.

The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. Or putting it another way.....

Who's your Daddy?

These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out number 11...........it takes the prize and #3 is runner up.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time....well I don't have a clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 8:37 am
by Admiral Thrawn
Dang, there are some pretty umm, "open and dumb" women out there. Definately a bad combination.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 8:39 am
by Lobber
weak! solly!

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 9:32 am
by WarAdvocat
can of beans


heh

Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 11:05 am
by Hattrick
LOL

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country.

Think I'll use this one if ever the need arises. :P

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 1:47 am
by roid
LOL!
way better than your FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:funny_joke_from_1765 jokes lobber :P


"i was puking out the window at the time" :lol: that's nuts

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 2:24 am
by Jagger
heh @ Roid

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom. <- that made me laugh. My sister just got back from Disneyland where they had to close a ride because people couldn't erm... keep their clothes on in the seclusion. I guess people were complaining because they couldn't show their kids where they were conceived. :roll: People are pathetic sometimes. :D