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Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."

That warning is the first place winner of the 2004 Wacky Warning Label Contest. The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, a group whose goal is to show that the fear of frivolous lawsuits has led to a loss of corporate common sense, sponsors the annual contest for the wackiest warning labels.

"Wacky warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," Robert B. Dorigo Jones, president of the nonprofit Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch group, said in the news release announcing the contest winners. "It used to be that if someone spilled coffee in their lap, they simply called themselves clumsy. Today, too many people are calling themselves an attorney."

Second place: On a snow sled: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."

Third place: On a 12-inch-high storage rack for compact discs: "Do not use as a ladder."

Fourth place: A 5-inch fishing lure with three nasty steel hooks advises it is "Harmful if swallowed." Too bad fish can't read!

Previous winners in the "Wacky Warning Label Contest" are presented here for your amusement and amazement:

- A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions, "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."

- A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user: "Remove child before folding."

- A bottle of prescription sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

- A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."

- A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."

- An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks."

- A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious."

- A container of underarm deodorant says, "Caution: Do not spray in eyes."

- A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner."

- A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn."

- A label with a hair dryer reads, "Never use hair dryer while sleeping."

- A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: "Not intended for highway use."

- A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place."

- A bathroom heater says: "This product is not to be used in bathrooms."

- A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: "May irritate eyes."

- A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."

- A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution: Risk of Fire."

- A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."

- "Do not use snow blower on the roof."

- "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."

Read more wacky warning labels:
http://channels.netscape.com/ns/atplay/ ... rnings.jsp

Beautiful!

I once brought a Lava-Lamp that had a label on the bottom: "Do not turn this device upside down."

Also, some fireworks I had a few years ago said on them: "In event of Fire, leave area immediately and call emergency services".

The same fireworks contained arrows pointing to the fuse which simply said "Light Fuse!". No mentioning of "standing well clear" there! HEH!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Arial" size="3">Originally posted by MD1075:
- A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
</font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Reminds me of the Ed, Edd, and Eddy episode where they were makin a treehouse and Ed (the mentally challenged one) had his hard hat over his butt.

Eddy: "Ed, your helmet goes on your head!"
Ed: "It's my butt!"

heh

Ah the wonders of Ed Edd and Eddy.

I've got a clip where a comedian pokes a lot of fun at warning labels (I forget his name at the moment). Some of the ones I remember:

On a can of shaving cream: Avoid spraying this into an open flame.
On a tube of Preparation H: Do not take this orally.

I'm willing to bet that each and every warning you see is there because someone was dumb enough to actually DO what the warning says not to do .

"Game peices do not actually talk" - Guess Who board game.

"Dolls do not actually talk or move on their own" - Barbie.

I don't think its the companies fault for putting stupid warnings on there. Like Thunderbird said, it's these stupid ass people who do dumb things with it then expect the company to compensate them in some way.

Just like the quotes I have from above, some stupid parents complained over those commercials advertising that the product didn't actually do what was seen in the commercials and their kids were upset, when anyone with a brain knew it was done JUST for the ad.

We all know what we must do, mount up your arsenal and lets start cleansing

No.

As stated in the oringinal post, it's the fault of a legal system that allows said morons to hold other people responsible for their own idiocy.

Although, saying that, you wouldn't want many items to come WITHOUT warnings - would you?

Maybe these warning labels actually DO work:

Jim: Watcha got there Bob?
Bob: New Chainsaw - like it??
Jim: Yeah - lemme check it out... Hey, it says here you aint meant to juggle with these things! "Greivous injury or death may result."
Bob: ...
Bob: Dayum !!

What's wrong with this one?

"Do not use snow blower on the roof."

We have to bring our snowblower up on the roof every winter to clear the snow and ice, or else there is a high chance our roof will cave in under all the weight. Hell, my friend already put his leg through it, all that snow poses an even greater risk. We gotta clear it somehow.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Arial" size="3">Originally posted by Scorch:
<b> What's wrong with this one?

"Do not use snow blower on the roof."

We have to bring our snowblower up on the roof every winter to clear the snow and ice, or else there is a high chance our roof will cave in under all the weight. Hell, my friend already put his leg through it, all that snow poses an even greater risk. We gotta clear it somehow.</b></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

S-..So you stand on the roof with the snow blower, adding an extra, say 300 lbs to the roof at that one spot. Not to mention that roofs (or is it "rooves"?) are usually slanted, so you'd probably fall anyway...

(I hear Darwin calling your name...)

Most likely it's technically okay to use a snowblower on the roof if you're careful, it's just that with all that snow, you could slip or cause more damage to the roof if you're not careful, and really, how many Americans are careful with anything?


And ah, yes, the wonders of Ed, Edd and Eddy.