How would you dance?

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Choices for 2008

Poll ended at Mon Jan 17, 2005 4:41 pm

Vote for Kerry
6
20%
Vote for Hillary
3
10%
Commit suicide
21
70%
 
Total votes: 30
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woodchip
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How would you dance?

Post by woodchip »

Only the wacko democrats could come up with this:

A new survey of Democratic voters indicates that in a hypothetical match-up between Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and former presidential nominee John Kerry, most Democrats would choose suicide over either candidate.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesotaâ??s Opinion Research Institute, shows Mr. Kerry drawing 21%, Sen. Clinton 18%, and various forms of suicide 61%.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/
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Testiculese
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Post by Testiculese »

Do I have a choice of various suicides? Mine, while effective, are boring.
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Avder
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Post by Avder »

Given those three options, Suicide is indeed the most attractive option.

You should also add "Bite the Bullet and Vote Republican" "Vote Third Party" and "Not Vote".
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Avder
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Post by Avder »

Additonally, thats a satire story. Has to be. Look at the headlines for his other stories. "Stienbrenner's wallet tests positive for steroids" :P

Funny tho.
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Top Gun
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Post by Top Gun »

â??In a head-to-head match-up, a sharp stick in the eye beats Sen. Kerry by a two-to-one margin."
:P
Dedman
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Post by Dedman »

If those are my only three options, I have to go with Kerry.
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Will Robinson
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Post by Will Robinson »

Dedman wrote:If those are my only three options, I have to go with Kerry.
x2. in fact if those were my only choices I'd campaign hard for him!
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Stryker
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Post by Stryker »

This is an anvil.

This is a head.

Hang one from the ceiling with some twine.

Lay on the floor with head underneath anvil.

Have friend cut twine.


Be saved from the doom of the universe. :P
Inari
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Post by Inari »

Suicide is my only option.
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Instig8
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Post by Instig8 »

Sheesh Stryker... that's just sick. Imagine the mess left to be cleaned up. I would prefer lethal injection. I've personally seen it done literally hundreds of times (to non-human animals). No fuss, no mess. ... and the bodies can be recycled for soap and other niceties... pet food, hair conditioner, etc.
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Stryker
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Post by Stryker »

Eh, just get a MD... there wouldn't be any matter left to make a mess to clean up. :P
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Zoop!
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Post by Zoop! »

Look at me, I'm an undecided voter!
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Avder
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Post by Avder »

Is that why your avatar is a bunch of static?

I wonder if anyone's ever been caught in an atom smasher. I wonder how quick/painful/messy that would be...getting particles shot through you at .999999c.
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Post by Birdseye »

I voted suicide!
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dissent
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Post by dissent »

Dang! You mean that Stargate thing ain't real??

DANG!!

Guess I'll just have to stay home and eat pizza.

Perhaps if we're lucky, the northeast will secede before the next election ...
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Beowulf
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Post by Beowulf »

I'd vote McCain or Giuliani if my only other choices were Hillary and Kerry.
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Tricord
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Post by Tricord »

Look, an excuse to commit suicide! ;)
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Top Gun
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Post by Top Gun »

There's always a fourth option...take them both out first. :P
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Iceman
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Post by Iceman »

Seppuku / Hara-kiri fer moi ...
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ccb056
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Post by ccb056 »

Hitler looks more appealing
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