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A Polish divorce

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:59 pm
by Top Wop
POLISH DIVORCE

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although
his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day
he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on
the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof.
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 3:04 pm
by Unix
I think this one get's a regular :)

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 4:02 pm
by Nitrofox125
lmao. *thumbs up*

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:37 pm
by XSabre
lol! :D

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 6:04 pm
by Boo
Heh

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 8:19 pm
by Avder
har/3

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 9:20 pm
by ccb056
Heh, the one about the Pollock firing squad is a little funnier, it's a circle.

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 10:56 pm
by Lobber
the lack of a sufficiant punch line ruined the joke, it was too funny all the way thru for the end to be any funnier than the body of the joke, hence.... :?

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 11:00 pm
by Top Gun
Unless thou art Polish, thou canst not maketh Polish jokes. However, if ye be Polish, joke away. :P

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:02 am
by Duper
I'm polish ..er.. Polish and I love it! :lol:

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 5:47 am
by ccb056
Duper wrote:I'm polish ..er.. Polish and I love it! :lol:
heh, figures

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:18 am
by Iceman
Avder wrote:har/3
har/4

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:37 pm
by Top Wop
Top Gun wrote:Unless thou art Polish, thou canst not maketh Polish jokes. However, if ye be Polish, joke away. :P
I be a Pole. :)

Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 4:06 pm
by Hattrick
A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly cheque.
He marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi. You know, I
just HATE coming in here drawing welfare month after month. I'd really
much rather have a job".

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur-bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because
of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort
her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment
above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy says, "You're bull★■◆●ing me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."

Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 1:32 am
by MD-2389
Second one is much better. :)