haha!
Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 12:44 pm
This was apparently in the Washington Post... the title of the article was
"Best Come Back Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white
male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on
Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to
stop.
"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't", he stated in a phone
interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the
road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose,
cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "Guess I was
really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Taylor approached him.
"That was an unusual situation, that's for sure,"
said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to Lawrence and he's...just pumping away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're
having sex with a pumpkin?".
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked
me straight in the face and said ...
"A pumpkin? F*** me, is it midnight already?"
"Best Come Back Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white
male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on
Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to
stop.
"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't", he stated in a phone
interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the
road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose,
cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "Guess I was
really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Taylor approached him.
"That was an unusual situation, that's for sure,"
said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to Lawrence and he's...just pumping away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're
having sex with a pumpkin?".
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked
me straight in the face and said ...
"A pumpkin? F*** me, is it midnight already?"
After all, that's what turns into a pumpkin at midnight.