Signed Sealed Delivered
Signed Sealed Delivered
Playing the old Stevie Wonder song as today I just signed my final divorce papers. As Raul Julia as Gomez Adams elocutes, "They say that a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. And with God as my witness, I am that fool!" So I too handled most of my divorce wrangling without benefit of a lawyer. Unlike Gomez who winds up homeless, I pay my now ex-wife $36,500.00 and I keep the house, keep my business and keep my pension. Meanwhile I calculate my wife will owe her 450.00 an hour attorney 12-15,000.00. I was not so foolish as not to hire a attorney at the end for final document reading and to appear in court with me. So 19 years of marriage comes to an end and now I am hanging around with a bunch of raccoons...
Since you bring it up, why after all those years did you divorce? Your idea? Hers? Mutual? I know it's none of my business but I'm curious anyway. I detect a hint of bittersweetness to your new-found bachelorhood and a desire to talk about it. What sage advice can you impart to those approaching the age of marriage?
I was going to divorce my wife 10 years ago Bash. I waited as my wife asked me not to in consideration for what a "broken" home would have on our daughter. While not to bore the dbb'rs with minutia, my wifes children at about that time opted to move back with their father as my wife has a problem controlling her anger (which stems from how her parents treated her while she was growing up). After I filed the divorce papers, the wife moved out last Aug. and my daughter moved with her. That lasted about 4 months before my daughter moved back with me. So as you may surmise my wife-who-is-no- longer has a problem with interacting with those nearest her. As to bittersweet, the only thing I feel maudlin about is my daughter is growing up and wants to move into a apartment with some of her girl friends. After raising a child and having them want to go out on their own, well I suppose it is all those memories that return when she is not around. Tough being a parent and I suspect in the coming years many of you here on the board will realize my feelings. Being a single man has no real affect on me. I (unlike Iceman ) have no real inclination to run out and start dating. For the time being I am enjoying the solitude and peacefulness of being alone.
As to Sage advice I would simply say learn to talk and more important learn to listen to what your spouse has to say. Avoid accusations of wrong doing, realizing no one is perfect. Most importantly go out every now and then with each other, hold hands and just appreciate that you have one another.
As to Sage advice I would simply say learn to talk and more important learn to listen to what your spouse has to say. Avoid accusations of wrong doing, realizing no one is perfect. Most importantly go out every now and then with each other, hold hands and just appreciate that you have one another.
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Heck yeah, you now have the time to master lube-less masturbation.Being a single man has no real affect on me. I (unlike Iceman ) have no real inclination to run out and start dating. For the time being I am enjoying the solitude and peacefulness of being alone.
In all seriousness, sorry about the devorce and it was very unselfish of you to wait so it doesn't affect the child.. Props.
Bingo.woodchip wrote:I would simply say learn to talk and more important learn to listen to what your spouse has to say. Avoid accusations of wrong doing, realizing no one is perfect. Most importantly go out every now and then with each other, hold hands and just appreciate that you have one another.
15+ years for me will ditto that. We at least go out for coffee once a week if nothing else.
Best of luck to you chipper. I sincerely hope your Ex takes some of that money and gets some "anger-whateveritis" help.
Find a nice book, get a cup of coffee and enjoy the quiet.
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I know "congrats' is probably not the right thing to say, but still ... it must feel good that the transition period is finally over.
Quite good advice.woodchip wrote:...learn to talk and more important learn to listen to what your spouse has to say. Avoid accusations of wrong doing, realizing no one is perfect. Most importantly go out every now and then with each other, hold hands and just appreciate that you have one another.