Ever wake up in the middle of the night to one of these?

Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Admiral Thrawn** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 1:59 pm

Enter this one in to the "funny, but too much information catagory".

Last night, I had a fart in my sleep that was sooo bad that it fumigated the ENTIRE bedroom for a good 10-15 minutes WITH the windows open. Needless to say, this bad mofo actually woke me up out of a deep sleep and had me scared because I thought there was either a sewage leak or that I crapped my pants in my sleep (Yes! It was THAT potent). I had to turn the fan off because it was blowing the anal wind back in my general direction. After a 10 minute detoxification of the room and checking my underwear for scorch marks from the blast, I was back to sleep, but man! I think I'm going to name that one the MOAF! I didn't hear it go off, but I definately knew it was there! I'm glad I'm single, that one would have ended a relationship in no time!

Okay, back to your regulary scheduled Monday

Dedman · Post by **Dedman** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 2:07 pm

Next time, have your lover wear a condom

Defender · Post by **Defender** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 2:33 pm

Definately goes in the TMI category.

And to answer your question, no.

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:06 pm

Defender wrote:Definately goes in the TMI category.

And to answer your question, no.

*sigh* x2

Beowulf · Post by **Beowulf** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:28 pm

yeah my gas was pretty rancid last night too. It was one of those where you give yourself the appreciative "how did that come out of my body?!" sniffs.

Tyranny · Post by **Tyranny** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:48 pm

Dedman wrote:Next time, have your lover wear a condom

Now THIS was TMI..

In regards to the original post though...HAHAHA

Iceman · Post by **Iceman** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 5:05 pm

L M F A O @ Dedman

WarAdvocat · Post by **WarAdvocat** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 6:37 am

I've been on the receiving end of one of those...from a woman no less... A fulminating combination of brimstone, rancid cabbage and ripe carrion so intense it caused a sharp jabbing pain in my nostrils. Given that I was actually awake when it happened, the identity of the culprit is not in question. I was literally driven from the room by the stench.

Needless to say, she lives far, far away from me now. I don't want whatever it is that lives inside her to get me.

Lothar · Post by **Lothar** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 12:42 pm

Back before I knew him, my best friend once held a LAN party (well, a null-modem-cable party) and invited his best friend, who was a vegetarian. They served pizza with like 4 kinds of meat toppings. The vegetarian guy, not wanting to be rude, went ahead and ate a couple pieces. He slept on the floor in the middle of the basement that night.

You can still find exactly where he slept, because there's a crack and a dent in the tile floor there.

Floyd · Post by **Floyd** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 1:04 pm

if you get to produce them in series, you have a replacement for tazers.

HaAGen DaZS · Post by **HaAGen DaZS** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 1:14 pm

ive had similiar experiences.

i can never get a good rip during the day. one night i found out why.
i woke up, laughing none the less. LIke, hysterical laughter. after calming myself I couldn't actually think of a reason that I was laughing.
Startled, I suddenly let one rip. Now, our walls aren't exactly thick, but they are pretty decently sound proofed. This baby woke up my mum in the next room. Ensue laughter from other bedroom.

this has happend several times. I often find I can work up some awesome gas when staying up late and such. awesome. no one ever expects it from me, if im hanging with them at 3 am or something.

Tyranny · Post by **Tyranny** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:02 pm

latenight gas tends to be some of the worst.

Lobber · Post by **Lobber** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 12:07 am

For some reason the McDonald's Hot Sauce that I put on my Breakfast burritos every day get to me... I fart so much in my truck I think the bench seat has changed color. I produce so much gas that if I let myself release it all my belly actually VISUALLY deflates!

HaAGen DaZS · Post by **HaAGen DaZS** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 1:35 am

haha X! i forgot about our pup. god he let em rip. the best dog-fart story i have is when me and my ex-gf were watching a movie, with her dog Paddi at our feet, sleeping. she farted, amy and I had to move... it was horrible!

2 minutes later, Paddi wakes up, sniffs around, and hurridly runs out the room!

Tyranny · Post by **Tyranny** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 2:18 am

Fast food and pizza generally do a lot of damage. That and anything mexican

BUBBALOU · Post by **BUBBALOU** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 6:09 am

WhiteCastle and beer! = evil

SuperAirbiscuts, SBD's, Creepers a plenty

no one is immune from this toxic combo!!

nuff said

MD-2389 · Post by **MD-2389** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 12:35 pm

haha

That so reminds me of when I was back in the 7th grade. We had just come back from lunch, which wasn't exactly the best in the world anyhow. It was really working on me, but class still had an hour to go so I tried to hold it in. We were all working on our assignments, so needless to say that the class was totally silent. After about five minutes, I couldn't hold it anymore. I ripped one of those really loud nasty ones. Bad thing is, I was right by the only exit, so there was nowhere for anyone to go!

The teacher was pissed too. She was bitching at me for not holding it, and made me leave the room until I was "done".

The whole class was laughing their asses off, which only pissed her off even more.

When class was over, next period started coming in as we were leaving, and one of them started complaining about my chair smelling funny.

It was all I could do to keep from laughing.