Maybe you haven't heard this joke
- De Rigueur
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Maybe you haven't heard this joke
Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women
Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from
the University of Phoenix:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will
experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with
the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first
paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your
partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
The partner will read the first paragraph and then add
another paragraph to the story and send it back, also
sending another copy to me. The first person will
then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in
order to keep the story coherent. There is to be
absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails, and
anything you wish to say must be written in the
e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion
has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his
English students:
Rebecca and Gary. THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite
for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much
of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was
suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the
attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
important things to think about than the neuroses of
an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom
he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S.
Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his
transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..."
But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but
not before he felt one last pang of regret for
psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had
feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared
out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the
days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
newspaper to read, no television to distract her from
her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful
things around her.
"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?"
she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds
to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles.
The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through
the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With
no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean
floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably
massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President
slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't
allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow
'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent
of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I
have some other sort of F---ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such
an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steel
novels!"
(Rebecca)
A$$hole.
(Gary)
B!tch
(Rebecca)
F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one
Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from
the University of Phoenix:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will
experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with
the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first
paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your
partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.
The partner will read the first paragraph and then add
another paragraph to the story and send it back, also
sending another copy to me. The first person will
then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in
order to keep the story coherent. There is to be
absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails, and
anything you wish to say must be written in the
e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion
has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his
English students:
Rebecca and Gary. THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite
for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much
of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was
suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the
attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
important things to think about than the neuroses of
an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom
he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S.
Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his
transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..."
But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his
ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but
not before he felt one last pang of regret for
psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had
feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared
out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the
days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
newspaper to read, no television to distract her from
her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful
things around her.
"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?"
she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds
to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles.
The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through
the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With
no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean
floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably
massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President
slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't
allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow
'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent
of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I
have some other sort of F---ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such
an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steel
novels!"
(Rebecca)
A$$hole.
(Gary)
B!tch
(Rebecca)
F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one
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