DescentBB

★■◆●

I walked outside after just posting some really inflamatory stuff in the NHB and smoked a ciggarette and sat down to think about myself like the cocky, arrogant egotistical bastard I am. It took me typing stuff down on the internet and reading it back to myself to finally let this ★■◆● sink in.

I'm a jaded little dick.

I've lost most of my friends, I've lost the respect I used to have in my community, I'm an addict, I'm emotionally scarred to the point where I don't really care about anyone else. I want that to change.

I've been posting online recently because my life has shattered to little bits. The people I used to party with will have nothing to do with me any more because I'm ultraviolent. I'm a milign (sp?) peice of ★■◆●. I take offense to anything and everything possible.

There are reasons for this but when I reached what I consider mental adulthood I came to the conclusion that they appear as nothing but excuses, so I won't even go there any more.

I used to play Descent. That's why I am here. I met a lot of cool people. I don't see the computer and internet as "In real life vs. Online life". I strive to please nobody. So I consider you my friends, and not just "net buddies". I have ruined this.

I might as well carry a shovel on my back to dig myself deeper into the holes I'm begun for myself, both socially, legally.

will_kill: You're relitively new to this place full of great people and I'm sorry if I've made it seem more hostile than it actually is. My comments to you were out of an immature rage that I have problems controlling and need to work on. Enjoy your stay.

Vertigo 99: Man, what happened. I have no real problem with you. I said some ★■◆● that I really shouldn't have no matter what. Whatever you told me I probably deserved and I don't want to hate anyone any more. I call a truce on my end, whether or not you want to accept it. We used to be really cool and I realized that whenever I saw your name I became upset. Please accept this apology for my behavior.

Duper: All you ever told me in certain threads (you know what I'm speaking of) was advice I should have taken to heart instead of lashing back. I'm a rotten peice of ★■◆●, I know, with no regard for authority nor anyone who has any problem with me or what I say. I want to change. Sorry.

If anybody else I had a problem with is forgotten, know that I want to start clean with you all. I don't deserve your sympathy for the things that have happened to me, nor do I need it. Just please, please, understand I don't want to be the way I am and now strive for betterment.

I might not be around a lot anymore like I have in the past week or two because hopefully I can get back with my old possee offline as soon as possible. Hell, I broke out in a rash from all the stress. My holes are only getting deeper and deeper and I don't want to hit six feet because of the way my life is going.

peace

Troll Feeders Unite!

If this is all in truth, then get some help by going to rehad. And talk to your family (the ones that listen). And good luck.

is no problem. i dont hate anyone either; you were just posting some shitty threads and i was saying they should get locked - its kind of what i do.

i have some friends that have been in similar points in their life dude; theyre all OK now; and if you really want to change, you will be too.

ummm...not really sure where it's comin' from but I cannot accept an apology for something that was not wrong, at least IMME. I just don't see you really offending me any more than I may have offended you but the way I saw it we both took our blows and injected a sense of humor and no one was really hurt. All in good internet fun Oh!...don't fight the need your feeling to change your self. Listen closely to your inner voice and pay attention to the direction your mind(frontal lobes) is pointing and you will be just fine....I already see it with this latest post

edit:"everything in moderation"

The biggest part of the battle is understanding you have a problem. The hardest thing now is changing what you want to. I wish you the best.

Wow, Silver. That's pretty deep. It's hard to admit that you have problems, I wish you the best on your new path.
I admire you for what you just did. That was awesome. Just rememeber to remain true to yourself.

well as long as you're honest and true to yourself you should do okay.

One thing is for sure and that is that you need help. You're gonna end up dead very very soon if you keep going in the same direction. Go get it. There is no shame in seeking help when you need it.

Meh, yall talk too much.

Silver: You might be a grade A certified a-hole, but...don't go dieing on us. Ok?

See ya around.

We are all sh_tz.

The nice people (like you) realise it. . .
and consider some course corrections

Hope you will set yourself straight soon. Dont do anymore dumb ★■◆● and get your life together. Go to a community college and get a degree or something. Its better than getting in trouble with the law anyway and you can meet cool people. Give it a few months and things will start looking up.

Peace.

i'm somewhat fond of you actually *rubs knuckles into skull*
i mean, i don't hate you, no way.

Definitely find someone who can get you the help you need. I'm sorry if I came across as harsh in that other thread; I didn't realize what you were dealing with. It takes a lot of guts to admit that you have a problem, and it's definitely the first step toward changing things. I can't tell you it'll be easy, but you will be infinitely better off for it.

breath in through the mouth and out through the nose.

FJ... feel your anger. Let the hate flow threw you. Your friends?.... From here you will witness the final destruction of the Alliance, and the end of your insignificant rebellion. The heat is swelling.

You can have a better life if you want it.

Pick your poison...
http://www.na.org/
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

It's been working for me for the last 15 years

Love peace and happines SilverFJ! Get it all outta your system, find a good therapist...and remember, in Teh Mines, itsa Hokay to Keel your freinds over and over again... !

D3 might offer some theraputic value, if not just cathartic .. so keep playing d3 there Silverfishjob... !

Kiran wrote:Wow, Silver. That's pretty deep. It's hard to admit that you have problems, I wish you the best on your new path.
I admire you for what you just did. That was awesome. Just rememeber to remain true to yourself.

trudat. It takes a big man to admit somethin is up. Good luck

I wish you nothing but the best of luck, my friend.

Our paths haven't really ever crossed that much, but I've never had anything against you.

You've taken the first step. Its a big one. You've had an epiphany, and have decided to change things for the better. All you have to do, is take it one step at a time. It is not an easy journey, but I'm confident you will make it.

Hey, thanks. I never expected this many positive replies. You're all awesome people and treat things with a lot more respect than most people. Thanks for being good friends.

I always had a stigma against a god figure so NA isn't really my peice of cake. I tried it out when I got popped in California but being surrounded by a bunch of other smackheads didn't help me much. I'm talking to a DC pretty soon (and a headshrink, too god forbid they try and put me on ★■◆●ing pills I won't do it)

But coming here and reading all your messages and the PMs I got from a few select people were really uplifting, it's hard for my friends here in Montana to come open like that. You guys rock.

sFJ

Good luck to you and Money said it best of all. See you in the mines...

Bettina