DescentBB

Don't know why I'm on a fart kick this week, but here's some more stuff to lighten the moods. Now, me, as a guy, I love to rip a good one from time to time. Especially while in the presense of certain others. Especially best friends or family members. Thinking back to some of these moments just makes me crack up when I think of them.

I remember this bad kid in my old neighborhood did a flying kick and nailed me square in the back. The suddenness and force of the impact caused me to rip a huge one as his foot made contact. Now imagine a guy getting kicked in the back, and you're hearing a huge RRRIIIIIPPPP right before he falls flat on his face.

I remember another time when I was working out with my brother and we were basically having our typical male testosterone competition moments. Of course, considering the situation, this meant who could bench the most weight. As I give it my all to set a new personal record, the body flexed so hard that my butt was forced to expel it's air, resulting in a HUGE one that resonated through the entire gym. This of course, resulted in me being majorly embarrased as everyone in the general area within audio range were on the floor rolling.

And then there's the one from childhood. Me and the other kids sitting on the wooden floor in a half circle formation around the teacher as she read a story out of a book. Of course, not wanting to interupt her, yet going through the pain of holding it in, I did the only logical thing I could do. I just let it go. The result was one of the greatest rips in history as it not only scared the hell out of other kids, but the wooden floor transmitted the massive vibration from the blast all the way across the room where it was felt by other students sitting on the floor with another teacher. I knew back then that I was destined for greatness.

I remember the time I was in the car with my girl driving to New York and she royally pissed me off. I forgot what she said, but it had me irked enough to lock all the doors and turn up the heat as I let loose with a POTENT silent but deadly breeze of destruction. I had to call off my attack after one of her kids opened up the door (while we were on a freeway) just to get some fresh air. By that time however, my point had been made.

The only good one I have is from waaaay back when I was in middle school (seventh grade). I had just gotten back from lunch, and as usual it was working on me. Most of the time I can hold it till the end of class and let it silently rip in the hallway. Well, what we had was CALLED spaghetti, but it definitely wasn't like any spaghetti I ever had. It started to REALLY work on me, and it was all I could do to hold it in. We were working on our assignment so the room was dead silent. Before I could raise my hand and ask permission to leave, I couldn't hold it anymore and out it came. That one came, and brought its relatives and some friends too because it was LOUD. I cleared out half the room to the other side, and pissed off the teacher in the process. I was banished to the restroom for atleast ten minutes to "finish". When I got back, she ripped into me again for not holding it. Everyone was laughing, which pissed her off even more. Here's the best part though. When class ended, everyone made a mad dash for the door. When another student came in, she walked over to my chair as I was packing, and asked what that smell was. It was all I could do to keep from laughing.

I have a really good one but it would have to go in the NHB

Post it anyways.

I was in the restroom at work one fine day. I was the only one in the room. I am standing there at the urinal when I feel the pressure start to build. I let out an absolute ripper. It echoed off of the tile walls. Even though I was the only one there, I had to laugh my @ss off. Damn, that was a funny moment. I donâ??t even know why.

MD-2389 wrote:Post it anyways.

Well ... uh ... it has to do with an old lady friend of mine ... we were ... uh ... doing something ... and ... uh ... well ... when I was finished and removed myself ... uh ... well ... you know.

Iceman wrote:

MD-2389 wrote:Post it anyways.

Well ... uh ... it has to do with an old lady friend of mine ... we were ... uh ... doing something ... and ... uh ... well ... when I was finished and removed myself ... uh ... well ... you know.

hahaha...rofl!

ahem...ok...there are a few. The ones that I've always enjoyed most however are the after-bursts that arrive following a good sized blast and are a direct result of your laughter. They become in sync with the laughing and it just ends up making you laugh even harder.

or the ones that keep letting loose when you're walking and you can't hold them in any longer. Classic...lol

these are good

Tyranny wrote:The ones that I've always enjoyed most however are the after-bursts that arrive following a good sized blast and are a direct result of your laughter. They become in sync with the laughing and it just ends up making you laugh even harder.

or the ones that keep letting loose when you're walking and you can't hold them in any longer. Classic...lol

likewise, those are so damned funny

I also remember one at DeVry. I had gas real bad, but ended up dozing off a bit during the professor's speach. The result was that I ripped one in my sleep that also scared the hell out of me and woke me up.