DescentBB

Alright folks, post something you found funny in a TV show or movie. Be sure to reference the specific episode if its a quote from a TV show.

Here, I'll start things off....

Stargate SG-1, "Window of Opportunity"

*Teal'C gets sent back to the start of the loop and gets smacked in the face by some unnamed scientist in camoflauge*

Unnamed guy: I'm sorry sir, I---

Teal'C: You have said this many times. Next time, I will not be so forgiving!

*Teal'C walks off leaving the unnamed guy with a WTF look on his face*

## Next loop ##

*Teal'C gets sent back to the start of the loop and gets smacked in the face by some unnamed scientist in camoflauge*

Unnamed guy: I'm sorr- *Teal'C shoves the door back in his face, closeing it and knocking the unnamed guy to the ground* -AAAGH!

Farscape, (forgot episode name)

Aeryn: She gives me a woody!
*Crichton gives her a :wtf: look*
Aeryn: You know, when someone makes you feel nervous they give you the--
Crichton: Willies! They give you the willies!

Nerd.

Every line in a monty python movie.

Every line in Red Dwarf.

"You can't fight in here, this is a war room!"

Shrek

Donkey: So, are there any donkeys up there?
Shrek: Well, theres Gabby the small.....and annoying.
Donkey: Oh, I see it! That big large bright shiney one right there?
Shrek: Thats the moon...

Lone Watie: All I have is a piece of hard candy. But it's not for eating. It's for lookin through.

=======
Lone Watie: I didn't surrender, but they took my horse and made him surrender. They have him pulling a wagon up in Kansas I bet.

=======
Lone Watie: We thought about it for a long time, "Endeavor to persevere." And when we had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the Union.

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Josey Wales: You a bounty hunter?
Bounty Hunter: A man has to do something these days to earn a living.
Josey Wales: Dyin' ain't much of a living boy.

=======
Lone Watie: I'm gettin' better at sneaking up on you. Only an Indian can do this.
Josey Wales: That's what I figured.
Lone Watie: You figured?
Josey Wales: Only an Indian can do that.
[Lone Watie hears a gun cock behind him; turns and sees Moonlight]
Lone Watie: It's not right; this damn woman doing this to me. I used to have power. Now old age is creeping up on me.
Josey Wales: More like old habits.

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Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

=======
Roger Murdock: We have clearance Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over.
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Oveur.
Tower voice: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Captain Oveur: Huh?

=======
Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

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Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone ★■◆● again.
male announcer: There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved

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Inigo Montoya: You are sure nobody's follow' us?
Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. --Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
Inigo Montoya: No reason. It's only... I just happened to look behind us and something is there.
Vizzini: What? Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... in... eel-infested waters...



ok, thats more than enough.....sorry...got carried away.....

Saturday Night Live when the host is funny, and the skits are well-written. Like Justin Timberlake's episode, or Megan Mullolly (sp?).

From Return of the King:
"I feel...like we're at the Green Dragon after a hard day's work."
"Except, you've never done any hard work, Pip."
And shortly thereafter when Pip says "We are s*itting on the field of victory." (hey it did kinda sound like it!)
And, "That still only counts as one!"

Princess Bride, one of my favorite quotes from there is:
"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."
"Stop saying that!"

The Mummy
Benny: Hey O'Connell! We've got all the horses!
Rick: Hey Benny! You're on the wrong side of the RIVER!

Babylon5: A Call to Arms
Anderson: Anything on the body?

Security guard: Nothing sir.

Sheridan: So its a dead end then.

Dureena: Not necessarily...

*Dureena walks down to the body and pulls out her knife*

Sheridan: What a minute, what are you do-

*Dureena jabbs her knife up into the left armpit of the body and roots around until she feels something on the blade, reaches in and pulls out a data crystal, drops it in Anderson's hand and walks off*

Sheridan: Male Drazi have a....pouch under their left arm. Its covered by a skin flap. You can't see it unless you know what to look for. Drazi smugglers use it to smuggle small items into other parts of space.

Anderson: I didn't know they had a pouch...

Sheridan: Well, its not really a pouch...technically. Its their.....reproductive area.

*Sheridan starts walking off*

Anderson: Ouch....did you have to tell me that?!

Anderson: Hey lady! Dureena! Just for the record, the only valuable thing I carry on me is my watch! I just want you to know that just incase this ever comes up in the future, okay?!